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Very frankly speaking I hardly get time to read books and all. But, MrfM,WrfV changed my attitude.
Good Resource For Newlyweds
I'm already an understanding person, and reading this book will help me to cope with relationship problems in future. All people have different qualities; everyone has different perceptions.
In Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus by John Gray, he starts out with a metaphor. This metaphor describes how the inhabitants of Mars and the inhabitants of Venus didn’t know that each other existed. The Martians eventually discovered the Venusians and flew to Venus. They fell in love with each other and learned a great deal about each other. When they flew to Earth together, their memory was erased and they couldn’t remember anything that they learned. Ever since then, men and women have been in conflict with each other.
An Unexpected Suprise
Regarding the importance of our differences, Gray says, “Without the awareness that we are supposed to be different, men and women are at odds with each other. We usually become angry or frustrated with the opposite sex because we have forgotten this important truth.” In order to try and help us with this problem, John Gray leads us into the different lives of men and women and tells us how we can embrace our differences. Each chapter gives points and suggestions about different complications ranging from men being “Mr. Fix-its,” and women being a part of the “Home Improvement Committee,” to how to keep the magic of love alive.
I found this book to be very helpful. There is a lot of good information in it about overcoming the differences inherent in men and women. Most of us students are at a point in our lives where we are supposed to be thinking about marriage and this book can be a useful tool for marriage. While I was reading it I could relate to a lot of the points that Gray made and I could understand what he meant by many of them from my experiences with dating. There is a large amount of information in it that could’ve possibly been condensed, but it is definitely a great resource for newlyweds nonetheless. I think this book would definitely need to be kept close and reread for the main points to stick.
As a single 21 year-old male, the last thing I wanted to do was read books about relationships and marriage. But, when a close friend recommended that I buy and read this book, I reluctantly did so. Right from the start I found this book enjoyable and easy to read. Dr. Gray has a good sense of humor and fun analogies that not only make the book enjoyable to read, but also makes the subject much easier to understand.
As suggested by the title, this book talks about how men and women sometimes seem like they’re from different planets. They speak different languages and have completely different cultures, but for one reason or another they just can’t seem to stay away from each other. John Gray doesn’t focus on how we can change ourselves. In fact, he doesn’t even suggest it. What he does in this book is he teaches how men and women act differently and helps us to better understand each other.
While I read this book, perhaps the thing that surprised me most is that I seldom found myself thinking, “Maybe I can use this later when I’m married, but not right now.” In this book, John Gray not only addresses men and women who are in relationships, but men and women in general. This book was constantly reminding me of people that I already knew and loved such as my mother, and my sisters. It opened my eyes and I finally started to understand why they would do or say certain things and it helped to know how to respond appropriately. Dr. Gray’s book is best summarized when he said, “When men and women are able to respect and accept their differences then love has a chance to blossom.”
Now, while this book is a great tool for being able to understand the opposite sex, it definitely isn’t a cure-all. Everybody is different and we each possess our own individual traits and qualities that make us who we are, and it’s important to understand that the things discussed in this book might not apply to everybody. Even if that’s the case, the most important thing that anybody can learn from this book is that we all need to learn to accept our differences and learn to understand and respect each other. These skills are invaluable in any relationship and will improve the life of anybody who implements them.
As I searched for book reviews on the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" to assist me while I explain in better words and ideas to my classmates, I noticed a few bitter people on here under the impression that the writer has something against women.
I was surprised
It is sort of frustrating to read reviews like this. All I could see in a couple of reviews were women looking for problems within the text, flinging mud at the author and calling him sexist. One of the biggest issues in relationships (at least that I have noticed) is that one person is trying to fix the relationship that has issues, but when the person goes in with the idea that their relationship is unfixable, they will often coming out where they started. When a person is trying to mend something that they have repeatedly failed at in the past, maybe they are doing something wrong, and should maybe try things from a different aspect. Also, I noticed the comment explaining men just go into their caves and he (the author) excuses it. I am guessing that what the reviewer was reading was an example of what a husband might do when he feels he cannot fix his wife's problem. I'm sure he isn't saying that these actions are excusable, just what some do. Maybe those who went in reading this story with a poor attitude, should try re-reading it with a more positive, open-minded attitude and maybe they'll come out benefiting from the techniques provided.
I only picked this up because it was at the thrift store and I'd heard so much about it. I expected it to be hokey, which it sometimes is, but I didn't expect it to tell me so much about myself and especially my husband that I had no idea about. When I read the things that a wife may say and how a husband hears it, I thought it must be a stretch, or only some men think that way, surely not my husband, since he'd never really said anything about not feeling trusted. So when I asked him if he thought those things, and felt that way I was VERY surprised to hear he did. I read this while on the treadmill, he listened to it on his commute, and then at night we'd talk about things, constantly amazed. He'd say "I can't believe how much I never validated your feelings. I always wanted to fix your problems or cheer you up, or if I felt like you thought it was my fault I just wanted to withdraw." Now when he hears me start off on how terrible it was at the doctor's with rude nurses and the kids causing trouble or whatever I'm whining about he listens and tries to say "That sounds tough" or "That must've been so frustrating" or something and I'm amazed at how quickly I feel better and can go on forgetting all about it, whereas before he'd try to help by saying "maybe next time you should leave the kids who aren't sick with a babysitter, or you should write into the office manager," or any number of things that just made me feel worse, though he was trying to support me, he just didn't know how. Also, I was always trying to support him by offering suggestions and I had no idea it made him feel like I didn't trust him or feel like he was capable. Suddenly when he's doing something I think I should ask him to change I bite my lip and realize that he's a smart man, loves me, doesn't try to hurt me, and I should respect his choices, especially when they are small day-to-day things (like I almost said "are you sure you should go to your friend's house first, do you think you'll have enough time before you pick up so-and-so?) as if he couldn't tell time or anything.
Billie Jo, RN
Degrading to Women
For those who feel this is one sided, or against women, I highly suggest you have your partner read it also. It WOULD feel one-sided if you were doing all the changes, but it just feels great to work together at respecting each other and actually appreciate the differences in behavior, thinking, emotion.
I am not a Womens activist, but if someone was really being an active reader they would have caught on to the hidden cues in this book.
John Gray has issues with women and wrote this book to help men negate all accountability and responsibility for their actions. Men instinctively go to their caves! They don't know they're doing it! While men are in their caves women should go talk to their friends or go shopping!
How condescending. Sure, he added some flavor to help the women reading the book believe that he was really interested in helping them, and added some catch phrases to sell it , but I'm not buying this bull!
Everything we say and do has meaning, right! Well, why do men go to caves? Caves make us think of cavemen who symbolize strength, and aggression. The hunter!
Tell me why we are claimed to dwell in a well when we need time out. A well makes me think of something deep, dark, dirty, far beneath the earth. Is this Hell? The well is a symbol of darkness, aloneness, despair. Wow, are women pathetic in the eyes of John Gray.
I refuse to read anymore of his books until he comes back from Mars and lands on planet Earth.
This book has help me and my boyfriend of 5 years alot. We understand each other alot more and don't argue constantly like we use too. In fact we hardly argue. This book helps you understand women and men. I have bought this book for several of my friends and family and they also said it has helped them.
An Amazing Book
Having read this book, I now know more about women as well as myself. The results are also amazing when I apply some of these guidelines in my own relationships. The book my not help with everything but it gives wonderful insight into a world I never realized existed.