Excerpt from Teen Love on Relationships by Kimberly Kirberger, plus links to reviews, author biography & more

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Teen Love on Relationships

A Book For Teenagers

by Kimberly Kirberger

Teen Love on Relationships by Kimberly Kirberger
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    Oct 1999, 371 pages

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Is There Someone Out There for Me?

A person's looks are never going to make you love them or like them.
- Drew Barrymore

Dear Kim,

I am feeling really depressed lately. All my friends have boyfriends and I have never had one. Honestly, I don't think any guy will ever like me. I am a little overweight and not what you would call a beauty. The sad thing is, I would really like to have a boyfriend. I am too embarrassed to talk to my friends about guys because I am afraid they will just feel sorry for me. What should I do?

You know, the great thing about love is that there is someone for everyone. I think there are two important things for you to think about.

The first is loving yourself. I know it sounds like something that people just say, but people who love themselves are very attractive to other people.

The second is: Not all people judge others by their looks. If you take good care of yourself--exercise and eat well and feel good about yourself, just as you are--I promise there are guys who will be interested in you.

Sometimes, things don't happen when we want them to, but sooner or later you will have a boyfriend (and a new set of problems). Don't worry: Everyone finds love. Those who have to wait a little longer just appreciate it more when it comes.

The Guy I Like Has A Girlfriend

Dear Kim,

I am in love with a guy who has a girlfriend. He told me he doesn’t really love her, but he is afraid to leave her. He is afraid of what she will do (as in hurt herself or be really upset).
Should I wait for him?

When I was in high school I went through something identical to this. I was so in love with this guy. Because I loved him so much and wanted to be with him so badly, I actually believed his lies. I ended up hurt and alone, but I recovered quickly and I ended up with much better after him.

This guy is handing you some bull. I don’t know how much, but some for sure. If he doesn’t want to be with "his girlfriend,"then why is he staying with her? Why is he telling you he loves you when he is involved with someone else?

Obviously the thing for him to do would be to break up with his girlfriend if he doesn’t love her. Then, and only then, should he talk to you about his feelings for you. Don’t support this kind of behavior, okay?

Now, he may not be a total jerk. There may be truth in this and he may be stuck, but whatever you do don’t wait for him to sort it out. Remember that self-respect thing. What would someone do who had self-respect? Bingo!!!!

You can be his friend, have a life, and if and when he is a single guy...then you can think about whether or not you want to be with him.

If you are in love with him and you are going to wait no matter, then at least don’t tell him that you are waiting...and please don’t mess around with him before he sorts out his life.

We Make Out...and Then It’s Over

Dear Kim,
I have the worst luck when it comes to guys. I have wanted a boyfriend for a long time now, but it never works out.

Every time I like a guy the same thing happens. He will ask me out or we will hang out at a party, but then he disappears. The thing that bothers me the most is I feel like all they want is to make out with me and then once we do they dump me. What should I do?

Your question makes me sad. All of us want to be loved, and we all have times when we feel like we would do anything to get that love. The problem is we can’t make another person love us, no matter how hard we try.

Let me back up a little here. You meet a guy at a party, and you like him. It sounds to me like the next thing you do is make out with him. Although it is easy for something like this to happen, I think this could be the problem.

(c) Kimberly Kirberger, 1999. All rights reserved. Reprinted with permission of Health Communications, Inc. from Teen Love: On Relationships, by Kimberly Kirberger. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, without the written permission of the publisher. Publisher: Health Communications, Inc., 3201 SW 15th Street, Deerfield Beach, FL 33442.

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