Uncle Eddie has gone, thank the Lord. He actually asked me if I'd like to ride in the sidecar on his motorbike. Are all adults from Planet Xenon? What should I have said? "Yes, certainly, Uncle Eddie, I would like to go in your pre-war sidecar and with a bit of luck all my friends will see me with some mad, bald bloke and that will be the end of my life. Thank you."
Jas came round. She said it took her ages to get out of her catsuit after the fancy dress party. I wasn't very interested but I asked her why out of politeness.
She said, "Well, the boy behind the counter in the hire shop was really good-looking."
"Well, so I lied about my size--I got a size ten catsuit instead of twelve."
She showed me the marks around her neck and waist; they are quite deep. I said, "Your head looks a bit swollen up."
"No, that's just Sunday."
I told her about the Cosmo article and so we spent a few hours recalling the fancy dress party (i.e. the painful incident) and experiencing the emotions in order to heal them.
I blame Jas entirely. It may have been my idea to go as a stuffed olive but she didn't stop me like a pal should do. In fact, she encouraged me. We made the stuffed olive costume out of chicken wire and green crepe paper--that was for the 'olive' bit. It had little shoulder straps to keep it up and I wore a green T-shirt and green tights underneath. It was the 'stuffed' bit that Jas helped with mostly.
The foregoing is excerpted from Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging by Louise Rennison. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced without written permission from HarperCollins Publishers, 10 East 53rd Street, New York, NY 10022
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