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The Lost Man


"Strong characters, riveting plot and an honest look at life in the Australian ...
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Discuss The Lost Man by Jane Harper:
Which of the brothers do you think has been the most successful at dealing with their traumatic childhood, and why?

Created: 12/23/19

Replies: 14

Posted Dec. 23, 2019 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

Posts: 2032

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Which of the brothers do you think has been the most successful at dealing with their traumatic childhood, and why?

Nathan, Cameron and Bub all suffered from their father's domestic violence against them and their mother through their childhood, but they have dealt with that abuse in very different ways as adults. What effect has that abuse had on each of the brothers? What are some of their different coping mechanisms? Which of them do you think has been the most successful at dealing with this traumatic childhood, and why?


Posted Jan. 06, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
paulak

Join Date: 04/21/11

Posts: 112

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RE: Which of the brothers do you think has been the most successful at dealing with their traumatic childhood, and why?

Wow! That's a tough one. They are all broken in some respect but my vote would be for Nathan. Despite the horror of his past ten years where he was shunned by the community, he has retained some vertigo of humanity.


Posted Jan. 06, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Janet Smith

Join Date: 07/28/14

Posts: 22

RE: Which of the brothers do you think has been the most successful at dealing with their traumatic childhood, and why?

I also think Nathan has been the most successful in dealing with their childhood. I was impressed with him in handling/some what taking charge with the whole investigation/family drama connected with Cameron's death.


Posted Jan. 08, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Anne C.

Join Date: 10/09/14

Posts: 23

RE: Which of the brothers do you think has been the most successful at dealing with their traumatic childhood, and why?

I feel that Nathan is the strongest of the brothers, because he did escape the family homestead. He tried to make a good life with his new wife, and it was sad that the marriage ended in divorce. But he then becomes stuck in his isolation from everyone. Only his son brings him comfort, but it is through Xander that Nathan begins to see he can change his life.


Posted Jan. 10, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
JulieAB

Join Date: 07/16/13

Posts: 117

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RE: Which of the brothers do you think has been the most successful at dealing with their traumatic childhood, and why?

I agree it's Nathan. As I said in another post, he seemed to work through all of the terrible things that happened to him.


Posted Jan. 11, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
susiej

Join Date: 10/15/14

Posts: 250

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RE: Which of the brothers do you think has been the most successful at dealing with their traumatic childhood, and why?

Cameron initially appeared to be the most successful, but in the end both Nathan and Bub prove to be so.. Cameron bought in to his father's philosophy - his land and wealth gave him power and position he didn't really earn or deserve. As a result he followed right along in the life style of his father and became a liar, a phony, a danger, and destructive not only to himself but to those closest to him. Nathan and Bub were not favored by their father - which is to their benefit. Nathan left the ranch, married, and worked his own land. Bub did much the same but on his own. Bub wanted to follow Cameron's path - he wanted control of the ranch - but is fortunate that he never got close enough to get it. Nathan became isolated from the family and even the town. While this seems to have created problems for him and leave him somewhat weak and worried, in the end being away from the ranch was a blessing. He was not under the scrutiny of his father or brother and as a result was able to look at life and their situation more clearly. Bub, too, was growing that way. He had a plan to leave - and when it became apparent the ranch would not be his and he understood the reason for that - he was grateful for that and eager to move on.


Posted Jan. 13, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
babeh

Join Date: 06/13/18

Posts: 6

RE: Which of the brothers do you think has been the most successful at dealing with their traumatic childhood, and why?

The novel, like the nursery rhyme, could have been entitled three blind mice. Bub appears to be the most optimistic of the two remaining brothers when trying to plan a way out of his mess. At least he thinks he can remake himself and seems to have a desire to do so. It appears that he lacks ambition or thinks he needs someone's approval to try something different. Nathan appeared to be the worst off mentally, caring only for Xander and even realizing that everyone else thought he would kill himself. Since there is no evidence other than Liz's comment that Bub had the worst treatment from the father, if that is true then Bub might have more going for him than Nathan. However by novels end--Nathan seems to be coming around and he seems to have more common sense than Bub so Nathan wins.


Posted Jan. 13, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
PiperUp

Join Date: 10/27/15

Posts: 129

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RE: Which of the brothers do you think has been the most successful at dealing with their traumatic childhood, and why?

I also agree. I think Nathan has been the most successful at dealing with their traumatic childhood.


Posted Jan. 14, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
elise

Join Date: 04/22/11

Posts: 58

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RE: Which of the brothers do you think has been the most successful at dealing with their traumatic childhood, and why?

I agree, Nathan tries hard to be a good, stable influence in his son's life. He fought to see him and be in his life despite all the conflict with his ex-wife and her father. If anything, he was the hardest on himself.


Posted Jan. 14, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
johnw

Join Date: 03/11/12

Posts: 65

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RE: Which of the brothers do you think has been the most successful at dealing with their traumatic childhood, and why?

My vote goes to Nathan as the most successful brother dealing with childhood trauma. Although he struggles and like many survivors of childhood abuse has difficulty in relationships - he gave it a good attempt to build a good life for his new wife away from the family homestead.


Posted Jan. 14, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
jennie r

Join Date: 08/06/17

Posts: 29

RE: Which of the brothers do you think has been the most successful at dealing with their traumatic childhood, and why?

I also cast my vote for Nathan...while he had his demons and his challenges, he seemed to be able to muster some hope for the future, and the ability to live his life differently. He certainly seemed the most 'decent' of the brothers to me.


Posted Jan. 15, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
celiap

Join Date: 07/27/17

Posts: 49

RE: Which of the brothers do you think has been the most successful at dealing with their traumatic childhood, and why?

I probably will be shouted down, but Cameron. There is one argument against my pick: Cameron is a real jerk. But to most of the Outback world, he is seen as successful. Cameron and his younger brother are both seen as losers.


Posted Jan. 15, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Missys

Join Date: 10/24/17

Posts: 25

RE: Which of the brothers do you think has been the most successful at dealing with their traumatic childhood, and why?

None of the brothers "dealt" with their childhood trauma. Bub seems to live in a fantasy world, too immobile mentally to make a move. Nathan goes through the motions of a normal young adult but ultimately caves to the demons that obviously were living below the surface. He does seem to be the most resilient, but that is not the same as "dealing". Resiliency usually comes from a place deep within that has nothing to do with a conscious effort. Obviously Cameron was a big failure- it just took more time for his demons to come to light.


Posted Jan. 15, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
nancyh

Join Date: 06/25/13

Posts: 214

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RE: Which of the brothers do you think has been the most successful at dealing with their traumatic childhood, and why?

I agree that Nathan started out being the most successful of the three, until the failure of his marriage. Then he shut himself off from the rest of the world. It took a death to bring him back to real life. He then did step up and come out of his exile. I respect him for handling everything so well and realizing that he did have a right to have a relationship with his son.


Posted 18 hours ago Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
beckyd

Join Date: 07/31/19

Posts: 5

RE: Which of the brothers do you think has been the most successful at dealing with their traumatic childhood, and why?

Nathan wins for me! I think Cameron was stuck in the perp mode, following his father's footsteps. Bub was beginning to say what he wanted, wanting to leave. I feel like Nathan was making progress: apologized to his ex wife, trying to figure things out by looking at the bigger picture.


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