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The Third Wife
A riveting family drama with a dark mystery at its core.
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What was your first impression of Adrian? Did you like him?

Created: 06/21/15

Replies: 17

Posted Jun. 21, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

Posts: 1336

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What was your first impression of Adrian? Did you like him?

Describe your first impression of Adrian. How would you describe him? Do you like him?


Posted Jun. 22, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
mbt1963

Join Date: 10/28/11

Posts: 9

RE: What was your first impression of Adrian? Did you like him?

I did not like him from the start. As the book went on I liked him even less. He was selfish and childish. He was always looking for something better.


Posted Jun. 22, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
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Miznanner

Join Date: 01/19/13

Posts: 20

RE: What was your first impression of Adrian? Did you like him?

Bottom line: no. He was self absorbed, whiny, and such a stereotypical "Boy Who Never Grew up" I found him laughable. I simply could not figure out why any if his wives were attracted to him, why they stayed with him and why anyone would want to REmarry him. I tried to find something about him I liked and failed. (In case anyone is still wondering-I did not enjoy the book....??)


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Posted Jun. 22, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
alisonf

Join Date: 01/31/13

Posts: 90

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RE: What was your first impression of Adrian? Did you like him?

I thought he was naive and a bit unbelievable from the start. He seemed kind and selfish at the same time. He relied on all these people to bolster his ego. He was not really convincing to me.


Posted Jun. 22, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
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dianaw

Join Date: 08/04/11

Posts: 2

RE: What was your first impression of Adrian? Did you like him?

Beginning very early on, I didn't like him at all----he was almost unbearably (and unbelievably) childish, selfish, self-centered, and the like. But as the plt pprogressed, I found him a bit more sympathetic, and he did "take his medicine" with respect to his pre-Maia families. It was just so tragic that his neediness led Main into such an intolable situation that she suffered so for it---even if her death wasn't entirely a suicide, i.e., I don't think she began the evening planning to ckill herself.


Posted Jun. 22, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Navy Mom

Join Date: 04/12/12

Posts: 183

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RE: What was your first impression of Adrian? Did you like him?

I actually did like Adrian in the beginning. He seemed kind and caring. The way the two ex-wives were getting along seemed to show that the break ups of the marriages came off without the usually hatred and animosity that usually happens. For that reason I thought he must be a pretty nice man. Of course my opinion of him changed.


Posted Jun. 22, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
dlpiano

Join Date: 08/14/11

Posts: 27

RE: What was your first impression of Adrian? Did you like him?

At the beginning I felt like he was maybe like a lost little boy. Not somebody I could believe as being an attractive man that managed to find 3 amazing wives, but felt like there MUST have been something there before grief to have attracted all the women. Like Navy Mom, I also felt like he had to have been a good guy to be able to keep the harmony of all the blended families together.

However, as the story progressed I realized he was a pretty shallow person. Below the surface, all of his relationships with his kids were in shambles. We started to see how he changed stories and only shared a really negative version of his side. He was unaware of Mia's unhappiness and her bullying emails, and he just ignored her confession of not being happy in their relationship. It just didn't seem the behaviors of a grown, adult man. More of a young, immature boy just learning his way in the world and making mistakes along the way.

I was happy to see in the end that he was appearing to make better decisions for himself, his ex wives, and his children. There definitely are some unhealthy habits still there. His refusal to talk about Cat's involvement (even though she clearly NEEDED to talk about it) seemed like it was going back to denial and brushing things under the rug. Him deciding that his 2nd wife was INDEED the love of his life, even though he had so easily left her and the children and reflected back on their life together so negatively to Mia just seemed like jumping back into his addiction of love. But I guess overall it was a better ending point than where the book started for him and all the family members.


Posted Jun. 23, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
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donnac

Join Date: 03/26/14

Posts: 122

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RE: What was your first impression of Adrian? Did you like him?

At first I liked Adrian. He seemed happy and successful and must have been contributing something to the semi-blended Wolfe clan. Or so I thought. But as the story progressed it was clear that he was nothing more than a kite floating over the tops of everybody's life. He never really knew any of these people, engaged with them as little as possible and didn't seem much bothered about that fact. He thoroughly exploited his life from a position of male privilege that western culture allows men. I kept trying to envision a woman in a similar role; marrying and leaving children in custody of ex-husbands who would all strive to get along. The vision is a preposterous fantasy of course.

So while he can't be held responsible for creating the problem, he could certainly be faulted for so blithely riding the high wave while his wives and kids were drowning to use another metaphor.

So, no. I didn't like him very much at all.


Posted Jun. 24, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
susanr

Join Date: 04/14/11

Posts: 114

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RE: What was your first impression of Adrian? Did you like him?

I didn't like him I thought that he went about his life with no interest in what was going on with his wives and children. He seemed to be totally self centered. Even at the end when he appeared to be more aware of what was going on in his family, it still seemed to be more about him and his needs than about the needs of his family members.


Posted Jun. 24, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
dona

Join Date: 06/03/14

Posts: 12

RE: What was your first impression of Adrian? Did you like him?

From the start Adrian seemed filled with self-pity in response to his wife's death rather than sincere mourning. Also he reveals an unattractive sense of pride about how well he had managed his previous wives and children. The author shows Adrian's insincerity through his thinking, "He didn't want this strange woman to see this side of him, the dead-inside part that could feel so antipathetic towards a mere cat." No, I didn't like Adrian


Posted Jun. 25, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
lilliantpr

Join Date: 01/23/12

Posts: 5

RE: What was your first impression of Adrian? Did you like him?

Answering the question just as it is asked, my first impression of Adrian was that I did not like him from the very start. I mean, just to know that his wife was in the streets getting drunk and he not knowing where she was, made me doubt him from the beginning. Questions started building in my head. Why was she drunk at this late hour? Suicide or accident? Was she going through something, or troubled in some way?

And then the way he proudly described to the DI of having had 3 wives, 5 children one big family, vacation together every year, made me think this guy was out of this planet. So no, I did not like him from the start.


Posted Jun. 25, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
barbaral

Join Date: 02/20/12

Posts: 5

RE: What was your first impression of Adrian? Did you like him?

I did like him in the beginning. I thought he must be kind and loving if he could keep all the blended family dynamics working so well. But as the story unfolded I was so annoyed at him for being so completely unaware of how his children were faring in this situation. They were all suffering while he blithely went from woman to woman in order to "find happiness". He was very superficial and never looked deeply at his relationships or the cost of his actions.


Posted Jun. 25, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Jenn

Join Date: 06/25/15

Posts: 3

RE: What was your first impression of Adrian? Did you like him?

Like many here, I did like Adrian at first. I thought it was cool that he had maintained what appeared to be a healthy relationship with his ex-wives to keep harmony within their family. He came across as a loving man, if flawed. However, as the book went on, I began to see the dysfunction of the relationships and how rather than because of Adrian it "worked," it was really "functioning" in SPITE of Adrian. The big turnoff for me was how he ignored Maya when she commented on her unhappiness in the marriage. This is when I really was struck by his selfishness and his inability to confront anything unpleasant or difficult.


Posted Jun. 25, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
susanj

Join Date: 06/18/11

Posts: 25

RE: What was your first impression of Adrian? Did you like him?

At first I thought Adrian was just passive, but as the story progressed I realized he lacked self-awareness and introspection. Eventually I found him selfish and lacking in empathy. Even though he started to be more conscious of his effect on the children, he still has a long way to go.


Posted Jun. 29, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
judyw

Join Date: 06/13/11

Posts: 31

RE: What was your first impression of Adrian? Did you like him?

I did not like Adrian at the beginning of the story and I did not like him at the end of the story. He is egotistical and self-centered, parroting too many in our society today. Adrian only thought of himself, not the repercussions for his wives or particularly his children.


Posted Jun. 29, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
dorinned

Join Date: 10/13/14

Posts: 35

RE: What was your first impression of Adrian? Did you like him?

I liked Adrian at first. He seemed charming and loving to all his families. But once the reader gets better acquainted with him, one realizes that it is really all about him. He really didn't get what was happening to Maya, and he didn't take the time or effort to find out. In fact, it seems unrealistic that it took him a year to begin delving into the facts that led to her death.


Posted Jun. 30, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
CheriFaith

Join Date: 10/06/14

Posts: 32

RE: What was your first impression of Adrian? Did you like him?

I felt he was weak and needy - and immature and irresponsible. By the end of the book, I still felt that way and was very sad for the long-term and lasting effects his lack of courage and a spine had on his kids.


Posted Jul. 02, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
candaceb

Join Date: 03/30/14

Posts: 36

RE: What was your first impression of Adrian? Did you like him?

Seeing Adrian through Maya's eyes at first made him seem like a successful man both in his work and the way he interacted with his family but as the story progressed, I saw him as pathetic. He wasn't able to realistically see his relationships with others or the impact of his actions on anyone else. At the end he was maturing and realizing he couldn't just act on his impulses and that saying "I'm sorry" doesn't make words and actions just go away.


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