Consider Ijeoma's mother throughout the novel. Where does she let her daughter down and where does she help her?

Consider Ijeoma's mother throughout the novel. Where does she let her daughter down and where does she help her?

Throughout the novel Ijeoma's mother is both helpful, particularly during her pregnancy and early marriage. She wants so much for this to work for her daughter, that she will do just about anything. Of course, she wants this for herself also. She wants so badly for her daughter to change. She lets her down throughout novel by never really listening or understanding what her daughter's life is about. She simply insists on trying to pray it out of her.

I think the mother does what she feels is best for Ijeoma and the family. She does contribute to the internal conflicts and guilt that Ijeoma experiences. However, in the end she embraces her daughter and offers some degree of support

She lets her daughter down first by sending her away rather than protecting and comforting her in time of war. She also thinks she can change Ijeoma's sexual orientation by making her study the bible. In the end she helps her by accepting her back home after she leaves her marriage.

Though in some ways necessary, the biggest let down was, I believe, leaving her as basically a servant when she was so very young. When she collected Ijeoma after the discovery of her sexual activities, she immediately began a reprogramming process which seemed a bit much and that to was a let down but the times, the culture and the religious background left mom thinking she was absolutely right thing. She was absolutely supportive when she married Chibunda and at the birth of their child. Fortunately when the marriage collapsed she totally accepted it and treated her daughter as she was and no longer tried to change her.

When she left her daughter with the school teacher and his wife, she definitely let her down. She wanted to believe it was for her own good, but neither daughter nor mother really believed that. She never talked to her daughter really, or listened to her, or considered her feelings. She wanted a "normal" daughter who would marry and have children, but I agree that the times, the culture and her religion were all against a woman like Ijeoma.

Ijeoma's mother certainly wasn't very motherly and seemed to be so self absorbed that she completely ignored her daughter and her needs. She wasn't a loving mother but only interested in molding her daughter into an image of herself. After her husband's death, she left her daughter to fend for herself. Throughout her daughter's life I thought she abandoned Ijeoma in every way. Instead of grieving for her husband and Ijeoma's father with her daughter, she left her to cope on her own. She abandoned Ijeoma with the teacher and his wife instead of keeping her with her where she belonged. Ijeoma had no guidance from her mother or anyone else during the most difficult time of her life. I want the women in the books I read to be strong and loving. This character failed for me. I wanted to say to her, "Buck up! Get a backbone! Your daughter needs you." Okay. So she came through in the end. Too late for me. I understand and agree, as Julie said, that the times, the culture, and her religion were against them, and how sad that is.

I think that her mother tried to help Ijeoma in the only way she knew how which was through the teachings of the bible. I don't think her mother would have know any better way than that, and was truly looking out for her daughter's well being.
I don't think she could have understood the effects of trying to change ones true sexuality. She did in the end become a loving & accepting mother when Ijeoma finally made the brave decision to leave her husband. By Ijeom'a choice to go home to her mother with the baby, it speaks to the love that was always there between them.

It was wonderful when her mother accepted her and her child back into her home. She not only made a happy home for them, but accepted Ijeoma for who she was and let her live her life, while maintaining a relationship with Chibundu.

Ijeoma's mother was just never really there for her. She sent her away after her father died, she never tried to understand Ijeoma's feelings for Amina and she pushed Ijeoman into the marriage. I think the mother was frightened by her daughters differentness and did the only thing she knew to do - pray and read the Bible. She did help Ijeoman during her pregnancy and she did welcome her back home but she did a lot of harm in between.

The way that Ijeoma's mother lost her husband must have been profoundly difficult. The story is told form Ijeoma's point of view so we only see her mother's grief through her eyes, but imagine how she must have felt to have her husband just give up on them and himself in that way. There's a rejection implicit in his choice that must be enormously hurtful. So although she fails Ijeoma to a degree after that, I felt a lot of sympathy for her. At least she sends her to a safe place with the schoolmaster. It may not be ideal, but it is safe and at that time, in that place, that was important. I found it an interesting parallel that much later in the novel, Ijeoma is in danger of failing her own daughter when she struggles with depression.

In the period where they do the bible reading together I didn't feel her mother let her down although I wished she wouldn't act that way! I felt, though, she was doing her best for her daughter within the limits of her own understanding. By the end, where she helps first in the marriage and then finally by accepting and loving Ijeoma for who she is, I felt that the mother was a great character and in some ways the heroine of the story. She has managed to change and truly accept Ijeoma. And that's the plea of the book - that more people can change and be accepting of others.

The mother often used religion as a method of communication and sometimes did not listen or try to understand her daughter. On the other hand she did try to provide support during her marriage and did accept her when she returned home

Ijeoma's mother does let her daughter down,when she drops her daughter off after her father had died, has no contact with her for those years that she was living with her father's friends and Ijeoma thought she was only going to being staying with them for a few days, not accepting her for who she is and drilling other ideas into her head. At the end Ijeoma's mother, does help her and accept her.

I agree that the biggest letdown was in effect leaving her daughter yo be a servant of sorts. She was also not understanding or supportive of her daughter's relationships, hollowing society at the time, rather then her daughter's needs. She find support her later on school and work, but I was disappointed in her as a mother.