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Under the Udala Trees
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How do you respond to Chibundu's treatment of his wife and daughter? How does this compare to the way women are treated in other cultures?

Created: 08/26/16

Replies: 9

Posted Aug. 26, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

Posts: 1336

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How do you respond to Chibundu's treatment of his wife and daughter? How does this compare to the way women are treated in other cultures?

How do you respond to Chibundu's treatment of his wife and daughter? How does this compare to the way women are treated in other cultures?


Posted Sep. 06, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
joyces

Join Date: 06/16/11

Posts: 392

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RE: How do you respond to Chibundu's treatment of his wife and daughter? How does this compare to the way women are treated in other cultures?

Chibundu is a product of his age and country. He wants to be the ideal husband, working hard, taking care of his family and making a good life. He is also of the feeling that men are in charge, that a boy child is more important than a girl child and his job is important and he is a good man. All are typical of many cultures in the world and especially those in poor countries. There is still much of this attitude in older men even in some of the so called progressive cultures of the world. Fortunately a lot of the under fifty generation are a little more enlightened and more likely to co-parent and co-housekeep which is fortunate as frequently their wives also have jobs and careers. There are in this world still places where women are treaty more as property than as equals.


Posted Sep. 06, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
reene

Join Date: 02/18/15

Posts: 212

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RE: How do you respond to Chibundu's treatment of his wife and daughter? How does this compare to the way women are treated in other cultures?

Overall, I think Chibundu was a good man who wanted what was best for his wife and child. He was raised to have certain beliefs about the superiority of the male and the importance of having a male child to carry on his family's name. Even after Ijeoma left, we learn that he continued a relationship with her and the daughter. In many societies around the world, the husband feels it is his duty to kill the wife or have his family stone her to death for such a "sin".


Posted Sep. 06, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
pamelad

Join Date: 06/11/11

Posts: 6

RE: How do you respond to Chibundu's treatment of his wife and daughter? How does this compare to the way women are treated in other cultures?

I felt sorry for Chibundu to a point. He had loved Ijeoma since they were children and I think that he still did after she left, as he kept a relationship with her and their daughter. He never told his parents or others why Ijeoma left and that kept her safe.
In many countries, including Nigeria, it is illegal to be homosexual and those who are live in fear for their lives. In many other countries it is still considered a sin and an "abomination" even though not illegal.


Posted Sep. 08, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
dianaps

Join Date: 05/29/15

Posts: 183

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RE: How do you respond to Chibundu's treatment of his wife and daughter? How does this compare to the way women are treated in other cultures?

The way Chibundu treated his family is similar to the way other men in other countries, including ours, have been treating women for generations. I don't see it as being simply because he is Nigerian. There are many other cultures in the world that allow that behavior.


Posted Sep. 09, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
marilynj

Join Date: 08/07/11

Posts: 28

RE: How do you respond to Chibundu's treatment of his wife and daughter? How does this compare to the way women are treated in other cultures?

I was a little surprised both by Chibundu's treatment of his daughter and of his wife but differently. I would have expected him to be more angry and less accepting of Ijeoma's homosexuality. He was so understanding and nonjudgmental and kept it to himself, keeping her from harm. His explanation of the nature of churches or religions was interesting. However, I was also puzzled and surprised by his rejection of his daughter. I agree that it was usual behavior in some cultures; however, in many of those cultures fathers still treasure their daughters while considering them to be inferior.


Posted Sep. 11, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
jeant

Join Date: 06/16/11

Posts: 17

RE: How do you respond to Chibundu's treatment of his wife and daughter? How does this compare to the way women are treated in other cultures?

I agree with Marilyn -- I was quite surprised that Chibundu did not become very angry and reject Ijeoma for her homosexuality. I believe that he truly did love her even through her inability to reciprocate. I would say that both Chibundu and Ijeoma carried well developed and deeply cherished fantasies of who and what their unborn child would be as it grew into adulthood. With the birth of the girl Chidinma, Ijeoma's fantasies were fulfilled and Chibundu's were dashed. Furthermore, Ijeoma bonded with Chidinma in such a way that Chibundu was very much left out of what he had hoped for in a "family". In a way, Chibundu may have been hoping that a boy child would allow him to love and be loved for himself in ways which would help assuage the pain he felt in Ijeoma's implicit rejection of his love. So while his reaction to Chidinma's arrival can be considered emotionally immature and certainly damaging to Chidinma, I am able to feel compassion for his pain in the midst of that very difficult triad.

And yes, Chibundu's actions were most likely influenced by the cultural mores in which he was raised, but there were other ways in which I felt he transcended the expectations of his gender and culture, i.e. his undying love for Ijeoma regardless of her sexual orientation, and his eventual softening toward Chidinma in allowing her to ride in the toy car and in maintaining a relationship with her even after she and Ijeoma moved away. I'm not sure that many men of a certain age in any culture would have managed to ultimately be so loving and gracious.


Posted Sep. 11, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
louisee

Join Date: 06/29/15

Posts: 67

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RE: How do you respond to Chibundu's treatment of his wife and daughter? How does this compare to the way women are treated in other cultures?

I agree with jeant that Chibundu was emotionally immature when it came to Chidinma, desperately wanting a boy, and not letting Chidinma play with the car for a long time. He really loved his wife and daughter but Ijeoma wasn't able to love him in the same way. As others stated he was able to be a good father to his daughter even though he wasn't living with her and he didn't hurt his wife, he kept their relationship amicable.


Posted Sep. 12, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Maggie

Join Date: 01/01/16

Posts: 75

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RE: How do you respond to Chibundu's treatment of his wife and daughter? How does this compare to the way women are treated in other cultures?

He obviously wanted a son. Females are second class citizens. This is true in many countries.


Posted Sep. 20, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
jodig

Join Date: 06/07/15

Posts: 25

RE: How do you respond to Chibundu's treatment of his wife and daughter? How does this compare to the way women are treated in other cultures?

While I don't think that his behavior is surprising given societal norms at the time I do think that his change in behavior came on pretty suddenly and I found found it a little unbelievable.


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