Why does Ijeoma marry Chibundu? Does she deceive him or does he allow himself to be deceived?

Why does Ijeoma marry Chibundu? Does she deceive him or does he allow himself to be deceived?

I think she marries him to please her mother and to conform to society because of where she lived and because it is the late 60's and early 70's. She witnessed what happened to some of her friends. Perhaps she was hoping she could tolerate a relationship with a man. I believe in the beginning by marrying him she did deceive him but he should have caught on that there was a problem.

There are several reasons she marries him. I think she marries him out of guilt. She wants to please her mother, she is frightened by the way society treats people like her. She is frightened by what God thinks of her. She is confused about her own feelings and this is a way out. She does deceive Chibundu, but it is not her intention to do so. He allows himself to be deceived because he knew "something" was not right, yet went ahead with the marriage hoping it would work.

I believe that Chibundu loved Ijeoma and that she thought she might be able to love him. She was confused about her feelings and had no guidance, nothing but condemnation, from the adults around her. I think also that she knew there was no chance for her forbidden relationship with someone of the same sex. He perhaps allowed himself to be deceived, but perhaps he also thought their marriage would work.

Perhaps she felt that she needed to try and experience the man/woman relationship to see if it worked for her. After all she had only known another woman's love at the time she got married and so really had no idea what this type of relationship would be like. Chibundu truly loved her and I don't think he was deceived when he married her.

I think she marries him because she feels obligated to live a "conventional " life. She is under tremendous pressure to conform. I believe Chibundu knew the truth but thought he could change Ijeoma

I think she truly held out hope that she could be happy. Chibundu must have felt that she was not fully committed but he was optimistic that he could make her happy.
She really did want to be accepted by society and was fearful of the possible repercussions of an alternate lifestyle

I believe Ijeoma marries Chibunda to please her mother & possibly God by doing what was she was taught to be the right way to live under the rules of society at the time & religion. Also, possibly out of fear for how other women being caught had been treated/killed for openly showing what was natural to them, but unacceptable to others in that time period & in that region.
I don't believe she deceived him as much as she thought she could make herself love him in what was considered the "natural" way. I also think seeing her 1st love be married , have a baby, and seem happy must have made her feel she could also accomplish that ideal.

She did it because she thought it was the right thing and because she sort of felt that it would all work out well and she would be happy as a wife and mother. I do not think she realized how hard it would be for her.
Chibunda either did not realize what she really felt or had been involved in and in typical male blindness thought that their marriage would be a just like everyone else's marriage and I think he truly did love her.

Did Chibunda know when he asked her to marry him? I think he did not know. I believe he did love her and much like other men his age, he wanted a wife and family. I do not believe either one of them tried to deceive the other. They both went forward with good intent. But for Ijeoma, she struggled to fit into a culture and relationship that did not fit around her. I believe the quote in the book best describes her feelings and attitude at that time---" The most beautiful fruit might contain a worm." With all good intentions, she entered into that marriage thinking that she could handle or work through the "worm" within her marriage. I did not read intentional deception into the plot or on behalf of the characters. I think her life experiences led her to this decision. Adanna was burned and murdered. Ndida buries the two guys who were beaten and killed. Does that awaken a sense of danger in her? I think it does because after that Ndida encourages her to accept the date with a male. In the short term, not a good idea; in the long term, it ultimately hones and defines Ijeoma's true feelings and values. Her Bible preaching Mama still condemned such relationships. For Christians who believe that "God is already there", then her marriage had to happen for her to have a child and finally reach a decision that came to fruition because of these things. No one ever promises the journey will be easy but for every trip down a road filled with potholes and detours, you learn...and after every sunset, the sun rises....every single day.

I agree with carolf in that she wanted to know what it was like with a man. There was also the fear she felt after the "church" was burned down and her friend murdered. She wanted to feel safe.

I think they were both somewhat naive. Ijeoma had known and trusted Chibundu as a childhood friend; he likewise had singled her out as his special friend and requested a kiss. Ijeoma doesn't really know what marriage is day in and day out and takes the path of least resistance. Remember, she didn't realize they would move away from Ndidi. Chibundu was a cheerful child and young man and though Ijeoma is distant to him he feels all that will be rectified once they are married.

I thought Ijeoma married Chibundu to hide her sexuality and to get along with her mother and because she had no other acceptable options. Chibundu, I believe, married Ijeoma because he had always loved her but also because he was somewhat desperate. If deception was involved, they were perhaps both guilty of it.

I agree with a lot of what others have stated - Ijeoma marries Chibundu because she is feeling pressured by her mom and society. She's not sure of herself and hasn't experienced the love of a man. I think she felt she should give marriage to a man a chance because she's being told that is what she is supposed to do. I think Chibundu rushed into marriage with her because he was also feeling pressure to marry and Ijeoma was a childhood friend so he felt she was a good choice. I think if they had a longer dating/courtship period the truth would have come out.

Since Ijeoma's love, Amina, is married and Ijeoma's affair with Ndidi is an 'abomination', Ijeoma sees no other way for her future. She doesn't actually tell Chibundu about her sexuality, but she implies that he should have realized that she did not love him 'in that way'. Also she is trying to placate her Mother. Chibundu was also a childhood friend and maybe she felt 'safe' with him at first.

Ijeoma herself explained her decision to marry Chibundu: the possibility he actually could make her happy as he was promising in his proposal; she wanted to please her mother; she very much did want to lead a "normal" life; she didn't want to live in constant fear that the "other life" would lead to the fate of Adanna or her 2 friends. I don't believe Ijeoma or Chibundu intended to deceive the other, I believe it was more a matter of leaving many things unspoken for fear that speaking of those things could break the magic spell of their mutual wish for happiness. I would suspect that that is a human tendency and occurs with regularity whatever the gender makeup of the couple entering an intimate relationship of whatever construct.

Ijeoma married Chibunde to "test the waters". I think she thought that maybe she can make a good life with a good man that she knew from her past. I do not know if Chibundu knew of her pas regarding her sexual preference, but he tried awfully hard to win her heart.

I agree that Chibundu felt he Gould change her. It was Aldo a very quick marriage and they had been good friends at one time. This was so soon after the horrible death of her friend that I think she also feared the life she was living in the world at the time. Here was a girl who survived the war, the death of her father, the seeming mistreatment of her mother in the past and other sad events. She was not strong enough to continue the relationship she was in at the time.

I agree with others that she married him as a reaction to the church burnings and violence and so much pressure to conform.

I think Ijeoma marries Chibundu for several reasons. She does it because it's what's expected and I believe she's really hoping that she will learn to care for him and be happy in a traditional marriage. I don't think Chibundu was aware of her sexual preference when they married and was thus deceived, although the deception was not done with malicious intent.