This is the most difficult and complex question. Someone once told me that if I take credit for my child's achievements, I'm also responsible for what s/he does wrong, so I take the middle ground. We all have to provide example and good parenting to our children, so we are responsible. However, when their hormones become active, their brains often fall out. We all make mistakes as we parent. I always tried to teach my children values and respect, and I know I succeeded when I look at the adults they are. But did they do stupid things? Absolutely. My husband was an elected sheriff and we lived in the jail where I was responsible for prisoners. Our children learned right from wrong and the long arm of the law reached out to them as well. Unfortunately everything they did was not according to our code of ethics. I've yet to meet perfect parents. As we know, there is no pattern for rearing children. Of all the jobs I've had in life, parenting is the most difficult.