In what ways do you think Pru's connection with Walter is different to the one she shares with Spence? Do you think it's ethical for them to pursue a relationship? What would you have done?

Pru's friend Camille introduces her to Walter. What do you suppose Camille intended? In what ways do you think her connection with Walter is different or the same as the one she shares with Spence? Do you think it's ethical for Pru and Walter to pursue a relationship while Spence is still alive? Why or why not? What would you have done in Pru's place?

As my husband's caregiver there was a quote in the book that totally resonated with me. "Lonely," Prue said. She was lonely without Spence and— this was worse— she was lonely with him." (Page 136)
The person I care for is no longer the person I've known and loved all these years. I can understand Pru wanting someone to actually be close to—physically and mentally. Do I think her actions were ethical? No.
I am in Pru's place and, as much as I want something else, I will never betray my husband while he's alive. I want no regrets or guilt. Plus, my faith and Hospice give me the strength to see me through to the end of my husband's journey.

Spence is her husband, her English professor that she fell in love with many years ago. He is the father of her daughter. They had many wonderful years together. Walter is someone new. So different from Spence. She is lonely. I can understand Pru and Walter being friends, sharing a meal, coffee, talking. But no they should not have an intimate relationship.

Walter is a respite and a friend to Pru, albeit one that makes her feel conflicted, which is a shame. When we undergo something as traumatic as the deterioration of a loved one, I think caretakers should take comfort wherever they can find it - assuming they are not harming themselves! In the end, Pru's commitment to Spence wins out and is a real sacrifice to her, like the sacrifices so many caretakers make on a daily basis.

It seemed to me like Camille did think the two would connect, and to me, it seemed a bit tone-deaf for her to have deliberately placed her friend in such a questionable situation. If Pru needed male companionship, Camille should have let her find it on her own. It seems like Camille was always there for Pru as a friend, so it's not like Pru had no one to talk to.

I've got mixed feelings about this scenario. On the one hand, life's too short to be unhappy if one has control over the situation. On the other, one is obligated to one's marriage vows. However, since Spence really wasn't "there" anymore, and since intimacy with someone outside the marriage seems preferable to divorcing Spence so she could move on with her life, I tend to feel like connecting with Walter was an OK decision, and wasn't unethical. Definitely a gray area, though!

I DO question the fact that she chose Walter, though. I thought he was kind of demanding and an "always right" kind of person; a bit of a jerk. Plus, he's the first male she started getting to know after Spence's decline began, and I'd think she'd be better off shopping around more.

I also question the fact that she lied to Ginny about her whereabouts. That says to me that she, at least, felt she was behaving in a less than honorable way.

I think Walter treated her more as an equal which really Spence never did. I think it would take a lot of nerve to judge Pru’s relationship with Walter. How can we know what we would do without being in that situation?

Pru was at a point in her life when she was lonely and missing the husband she once had. I can understand her wanting to see someone and I didn't mind her having a casual relationship with Walter but I cringed when she had an intimate relationship with him. I just felt so sad for Spence! At one point he even described Walter as Pru's future husband when he's gone. How sad is that?

I don’t blame Pru for becoming friends with Walter and starting a relationship with him - her husband is virtually if not physically gone. I’m not sure I would have done the same thing, but caretaking is so hard and she took comfort where she found it. And I agree with someone above who said Walter treats her more like an equal, whereas Spence always seemed to flaunt that he was the intellectually superior one.

This is a tough one. On the one hand, there's the loneliness and frustration that Pru experienced increasingly as Spence deteriorated. On the other, there's that tricky marriage vow --"in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live." Clearly, Pru saw the conflict, and had the same ethical question posed here. She tried it, and it didn't work for her -- answering her own question.

I’m not sure what Camille was thinking putting Pru into that situation - but I can guess, and I think it was a bit insensitive to do so. I will not judge Pru because I have not been in her situation. From the outside looking in I hope, had I found a man of interest, that I would have kept it developing as a friendship at most and waited until Spence passed before pursuing a sexual relationship. I am someone who would feel guilty and disloyal if I did otherwise. As Walter is Pru’s first date after being married for so long I think she should slow down and not get into such a rush. Pru married her college prof. what a imbalance of power from the start! She admired him and in some ways placed him on a pedestal and yet sometimes she seems to resent his success as stymying her own potential and aspirations. She also felt he minimized her ability and accomplishments, their marriage was complicated, as most are. Enter Walter, who is divorced and thereby not in the same situation as Pru. Pru is surprised and maybe a bit annoyed with Walter’s behavior at the NBA game, which just shows that she doesn’t know him very well and just maybe they aren’t such a good match. I think Pru in her loneliness and despair is reaching for someone to show her some tenderness and love and Walter appears to fill the void. But Walter is not in the same place as Pru and I don’t think Walter is very empathetic to Pru’s situation. Someone mentioned Walter is pushy and I agree. Pru also has over reactions to Walter’s other relationships - his arrangement with his ex wife for instance. I think as evidenced by her behavior both before the cabin scene at at the cabin, that Pru is pushing too hard and is not comfortable nor ready for a romantic relationship at that point. I wish for Pru’s sake Walter had been more understanding from the beginning.

I don't know why Camille would put Pru in any situation with another man.
It didn't seem to me that Pru and Walter had any chemistry and I didn't see the realtionship going anywhere. However, I think it was wrong of Pru to enter into an intimate relationship with him and I'm sure that she knew it would come to that at the cabin. Maybe she had some guilt after it and asked to go home, but I think that she intended for it to happen when she agreed to the weekend. Maybe she was lonely, and she probably was, but I really don't think that she was sexually depraved and that the whole scenario could have been left out of the book.

While I'm sure there are couples like Pru and Walter, this is the one situation that "clanged" as just a plot device with me. Walter was a means to show just how lonely - and vulnerable - Pru was. I agree with Shirleyf that this whole scenario could have been left out of the book. Of course, that would have made it a shorter book....

Peru’s affair with Walter was just another way of showing how lonely she really felt. I don’t condone it but I can see how it happened..her entire life revolves around her husband. I’m not sure Camille’s intent in introducing Pru to Walter was for them to have an affair. I think she just wanted Pru to experience Walter as a male friend not as a romantic liaison.

It seems that Camille wanted to see Pru be happy, and she knew that she and Walter would have good chemistry. Did she expect an affair? Maybe; Camille herself was a free spirit. It is understandable that Pru, being so lonely and exhausted with no light at the end of the tunnel, would have welcomed a diversion. Walter did actually listen to her and encouraged her to pursue her interests, something she did not get from Spence. Whatever she did along the way, in the end she sidestepped it to care for Spence. One can't really judge another's actions until they have walked the same path.

While I think that the friendship and companionship are sincere and truthful; it feels too much like a plot device and not really true to life. Of course, I can see falling into a sexual relationship, but it doesn't jibe with Pru's character. I agree that it wasn't necessary for the book and it does sully Pru as a character.

I don't think they should have had an intimate relationship while Spence was still alive. I do see how they could have a close friendship where they supported each other. Just as Pru was dealing with Spence, Walter was dealing with his ex-wife and her illness. I really think that if they had kept the intimacy out of it, they could have been an asset to each other, someone to talk to who would understand, and then maybe Pru wouldn't have been so lonely.

This is a tricky one... and I agree with some of the others that said Camille should not have put Pru in this situation. She was obviously trying to "Fix them up"... I understand that Pru was missing Spence because he wasn't the man that she married and she felt lonely, but I really didn't think she was even that attracted to Walter from the get go. He didn't seem like someone I would have been attracted to. I think Pru was almost trying to force that relationship because she was lonely and maybe because she felt she needed a little excitement... sneaking around behind Spence and Ginny's back.. I don't think that what she did was right, but in that instance, we might not always make the best of decisions when we are going through something like Pru was.

I understand Pru's loneliness. I don't see anything wrong with having a relationship with Walter. Pru continues to take care of Spence, but the Spence she fell in love with and built a life with is gone. I would not fault Pru at all!

Pru is really caught in a no man's land emotionally. On the one hand she is still committed to being there for Spence. But on the o ther hand she is beginning the process of altering her life in the inevitable case that Spence is terminal. I think she has to be able to balance both and by that I mean being discreet about her moves towards a new reality.

Pru's relationship with Spence is nearly in the past - they have a child and a history but Spence is leaving and part of him is already gone. I can't judge Pru as I have never been in her shoes and can't imagine what it is like. Her relationship with Walter is in the present and potentially the future but it did not seem that she was ready to cross a line with Walter so she seemed to feel it was not OK at that time.

I understand the loyalty to Spence and I also see that Spence is no longer himself. I wonder what he would want Pru to do in this situation? Would he be okay with her pursuing another relationship? If I were Spence, I would want my partner to be happy and have a outlet to feel fulfilled while being a caregiver in such a difficult situation. I wonder if couples going into a battle with dementia have discussions on this topic?

No I don't think it's ethical. She is still married. I know she is lonely and should have friends. She may have to forego a physical relationship with another man until her husband is dead