Not Logged in.
Book Jacket

Surviving Savannah


"The stuff of which Oscar worthy movies are made... a masterfully crafted and ...
More about this book

Everly blamed herself for Mora's death. How does guilt impact grief? Why do you think we blame ourselves when we really had no control?

Created: 03/31/22

Replies: 6

Posted Mar. 31, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

Posts: 3442

Everly blamed herself for Mora's death. How does guilt impact grief? Why do you think we blame ourselves when we really had no control?

Everly blamed herself for Mora's death, believing that she caused Mora to stand in the path of the oncoming car. How does guilt impact grief? Why do you think we blame ourselves when we really had no control?


Posted Mar. 31, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
charlaw's Gravatar
charlaw

Join Date: 09/06/16

Posts: 30

RE: Everly blamed herself for Mora'...

I think the self imposed guilt is a way to deflect the grief we feel when someone we love dies. Guilt is actually one of the stages of grief and is one of the normal stages to work through on our way to healing. When this happens it’s normal to examine the relationship and wish we had done more, said more, or been more present with the person we lost.


Posted Apr. 07, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
cindyj

Join Date: 06/26/18

Posts: 32

RE: Everly blamed herself for Mora'...

I think guilt prolongs the grieving process.


Posted Apr. 10, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
lorrained

Join Date: 12/04/20

Posts: 137

RE: Everly blamed herself for Mora'...

It seems that guilt may be a form of denial...the thought that it wasn't possible that Mora would have just died as a result of her own actions. Everly was also feeling guilt over her feelings for Mora's partner. It seemed to all come to a head in the form of non-acceptance and guilt.


Posted Apr. 10, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
ashleighp

Join Date: 09/15/20

Posts: 33

RE: Everly blamed herself for Mora'...

I feel like grief makes us yearn for reasoning and one of the most natural things for humans to do is to blame themselves even when things are very much out of our control. She had to blame herself in order to assign “order” and “logic” to the tragic.


Posted Apr. 22, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
ColoradoGirl

Join Date: 05/16/16

Posts: 149

RE: Everly blamed herself for Mora'...

I thought of this as survivor's guilt. It seems easier to blame yourself than to accept that it was an accident and not your fault. I also think it's common to relive these moments and she dwells on what would have happened if she wouldn't have bumped them over. I agree with charlaw that guilt can deflect grief, I think you can't properly grieve until you've processed the guilt.


Posted Apr. 28, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
SKB

Join Date: 10/28/18

Posts: 12

RE: Everly blamed herself for Mora'...

I think guilt always plays a part in grieving. You have to choose how big a part it will be. You also have to be willing to forgive yourself/ask for forgiveness, so that you can move forward. Otherwise you get stuck reliving what can’t be changed and missing out on the new experiences life offers.


Reply

Please login to post a response.