How did you respond to Cassie's photography exhibition about her parent's car crash? Do you agree with June that some things are too personal to share?

How did you respond to Cassie's photography exhibition about her parent's car crash? Do you agree with June that some things are too personal to share?

Some things are too personal and should be taken to the grave. No one needs to know everything about every life. Let the pain go into the darkness where it belongs.

It sounded very gruesome and too personal to share.

I thought it was too personal to share.

It is an artist's choice to share or not share her personal experience thru her work. Lindie lived thru the crash and had every right to use it in her work. That being said she should have protected her Grandmother from seeing it without any warning about the content of the work. Artists have always used their medium as a therapeutic release, it is the viewer's choice as to how they feel about what they are seeing...

As with many artistic endeavors, we use what we know. Allowing her grandmother to see the exhibit was unthinking. Under no circumstances would I want to relive how my child died.

I think ruthlea and lynnw both make excellent points here. Cassie's decision to include her memories in her exhibition was personal and valid, but she should have warned June before allowing her to see the exhibit.

It was too personal for June to share, but for Cassie, as an artist, it was a truth she needed to see in art form to be able finally to deal with the tragedy. Art is very personal. It was not June's truth, that's why she reacted so negatively to it. I do think she should have called Cassie and explained her reaction as soon as she herself was able to put a reason to it.

Art is usually very personal so June's reaction to what she saw is expected. Too bad Cassie was too immature to warn her.

Marthas, I'm not sure it was an isse of immaturity so much as one of communication. I think until the exhibit June had no idea what about the accident Cassie remembered. Perhaps the two of them should have talked earlier and in more detail about what happened and what Cassie, who was just a child at the time, remembered.

It is up to an artist to decide what or what not they wish to
share. I have been to exhibits where I wonder what and why the
artist was sharing something. That was my personal opinion, others with me
have felt differently.
In this case, I think the artist should have informed her grandmother, since it was family.

Cassie needed to let go of the memories of the car crash and I think the exhibition was cathartic for her~June didn't understand her need to release those memories. I think it was a misudertanding of Cassie's motives that led to June's response to the exhibit.

I was actually shocked at what all she included in the exhibit. I don't think I would feel comfortable seeing anything like that myself. It was important for her to do that, I suppose, to help put the accident behind her. Maybe putting in all the details and sounds as she did was a way for Cassie to separate herself from the accident and the emotions connected to it. It became a "project", a very personal one to be sure, but I also think that since it happened when she was a child (eight?), the process of emotional separation from that tragic event may have already taken place. She said she always thought of it as "her" accident, since she was the survivor. I doubt she even thought about her grandmother's feelings or reaction until after it was finished.

I believe it was unthinkably cruel to let June walk into that exhibit without any warning.

I understand why Cassie wanted her art to be her memory of the accident- even if that meant being brutally honest. I don't think she meant to hurt June. In her mind it was her story to tell. I am sure it would be therapeutic. Each person has their own way of dealing with tragedy. June obviously needed to keep her life more private and was devastated that Cassie had been so open.

This is what Cassie remembered about the crash. I don't think she realized how June would feel and they had never discussed it. Did June know about the bottle? She certainly knew about her son's drinking.

It was definitely thoughtless, but I didn't think Cassie was deliberately cruel to June. Grief can be very isolating and I don't think Cassie had the maturity to take in June's point of view, even when she became an adult. Perhaps she would only get that kind of insight by having her own children. Although June brought up Cassie they were grandmother and granddaughter and not necessarily close emotionally even though they loved each other. Also, June was not the kind of person who shared her feelings - look at how she went all over the world with Jack without saying a word of it to Cassie.

I thought this was an example of good character development on the author's part.

The above responses show a depth of strong opinion on different sides of this question. I have been thinking about another aspect of this situation...why the confrontation at the opening was the perfect storm. June, and my mother, grew up in a generation that did not share their history. They "did not talk about family business outside of the home." Unfortunately, this generation did not share with their own children. I have been thinking about this a lot lately...what we share with our children and what we keep secret. Do hidden secrets and half truths exposed after death hurt more than the brutal truth exposed when someone is still alive and able to discuss it with family? June's reaction to Cassie's art was inevitable but she had created the perfect storm by covering up the past and keeping secrets from her granddaughter. There is no easy answer here.

I believe Cassie had every right to have the exhibit, however, I think she have told June about it, so she would know what to expect

I think artists often use their memories even the bad ones in their art. It is hard to understand sharing something like that unless you are a artist. It was probably something Cassie needed to do but she should have warned June.