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The Moment of Lift


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Gates is told by a mentor that "If you don’t set your own agenda, someone else will." Do you agree with this statement? How has this played out in your own life?

Created: 01/12/21

Replies: 12

Posted Jan. 12, 2021 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

Posts: 3442

Gates is told by a mentor that "If you don’t set your own agenda, someone else will." Do you agree with this statement? How has this played out in your own life?

Gates is told by a mentor that "If you don’t set your own agenda, someone else will." Do you agree with this statement? How has this played out in your own life?


Posted Jan. 14, 2021 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
nancyh

Join Date: 06/25/13

Posts: 347

RE: Gates is told by a mentor that "If you don’t set your own agenda, someone else will." Do you agree with this statement? How has this played out in your own life?

Yes, I agree with this statement. Life rarely happens as you plan it. Something usually happens in your life to change directions. It might be a career change in school or a change in your like style, etc. Something that tells you that this is where you should go.
I know my life did not turn out as I thought it would, but it turned out better.


Posted Jan. 14, 2021 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Maggie

Join Date: 01/01/16

Posts: 434

RE: Gates is told by a mentor that "If you don’t set your own agenda, someone else will." Do you agree with this statement? How has this played out in your own life?

I agree that we need to set our own agenda. For many years I was in the retail business. My goal was to eventually work for our library district. I am not going to discuss how that happened but as my personal goal it did happen. After working retail for 21 years I felt that my library career was my retirement job and enjoyed my job as first a reference librarian and then book club coordinator, in charge of over 200 book clubs. My dream job!


Posted Jan. 14, 2021 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
dorothygo

Join Date: 03/27/13

Posts: 23

Quotable quote

Definitely a quotable quote. I do agree with it. It took me quite a few years to see how this played out in my own career. Having a personal plan ensures that you have some ability to steer rather than being pulled along by the tide. Many from my generation felt that if you did good work, followed the rules, and didn’t make too much fuss, you’d be rewarded; in life and work.


Posted Jan. 17, 2021 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
LeahLovesBooks

Join Date: 04/08/14

Posts: 69

RE: Gates is told by a mentor that

This is such a great question. It is not even a question that if we don't know where we are going, either we are going just to meander along or someone is going to tell us what to do. I've had several careers and I cringe at images of the "young" me and not having had spine or self-confidence to stand up for myself. I grew into a powerful, effective professional because I made sure that I believed in the entity's mission while setting goals for my own growth. As a business owner today, when I interview and hire people, I try to engage people in discussion about their career (and life) aspirations. It's amazing how few have a vision for themselves.


Posted Jan. 17, 2021 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
LindaB.

Join Date: 06/11/14

Posts: 80

RE: Gates is told by a mentor that "If you don’t set your own agenda, someone else will." Do you agree with this statement? How has this played out in your own life?

I totally agree with this statement. I had to work hard in college and wanted to pursue a career that I wasn't encouraged to do. It wasn't until I was in my late-40's that I started to research what I needed to do to FINALLY do what I wanted.


Posted Jan. 18, 2021 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
christinec

Join Date: 03/09/20

Posts: 25

RE: Gates is told by a mentor that "If you don’t set your own agenda, someone else will." Do you agree with this statement? How has this played out in your own life?

Definitely agree- sad to say I learned that from my mother in her relationship with my father- lost herself in her capitulation in the relationship- victim of 50s roles for women also. You have to advocate for yourself, your needs and interests- you are stronger for it and can arrive to be of support to others more present and effectively. Especially fight for fairness in getting all the “unpaid work” done - frees up it to pursue your own interests!


Posted Jan. 18, 2021 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
laurap

Join Date: 06/19/12

Posts: 401

RE: Gates is told by a mentor that "If you don’t set your own agenda, someone else will." Do you agree with this statement? How has this played out in your own life?

Agree. TIme and energy are valuable resources, and if you don't plan to use yours for your own goals someone -- likely a family member who sees them as available -- will co-opt them. This is particularly a problem in the area of "unpaid work." This will sometimes involve standing up for your right to use your time in pursuit of your own goals, not always perceived as important by others.


Posted Jan. 19, 2021 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
barbarao

Join Date: 10/18/12

Posts: 29

RE: Gates is told by a mentor that "If you don’t set your own agenda, someone else will." Do you agree with this statement? How has this played out in your own life?

I am in my 70’s, the expectations for the majority of women were to become a teacher, a nurse, a secretary or to marry. It was the dawning of “setting your own agenda”, those women willing to change that trend were both admired and vilified. It was the beginning of the cultural rise of feminism and the breaking down of barriers that began the acceptance of setting your own agenda.


Posted Jan. 26, 2021 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
dorothyl

Join Date: 04/15/12

Posts: 146

RE: Gates is told by a mentor that "If you don’t set your own agenda, someone else will." Do you agree with this statement? How has this played out in your own life?

I agree but it is sometimes difficult because it may require courage and determination in a society that is opposed to your agenda.


Posted Jan. 27, 2021 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
mali

Join Date: 05/01/20

Posts: 24

RE: Gates is told by a mentor that "If you don’t set your own agenda, someone else will." Do you agree with this statement? How has this played out in your own life?

I completely agree with this statement. I have been rolling with the waves in a line of work that was deemed "impressive" by many others, but now I have had enough and want to change gears. It is daunting to have to start over in my 40s, and I wish I had "set my own agenda" years ago.


Posted Jan. 27, 2021 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
swchis39

Join Date: 09/26/12

Posts: 172

RE: Gates is told by a mentor that "If you don’t set your own agenda, someone else will." Do you agree with this statement? How has this played out in your own life?

I do believe you need to set your own agenda rather than wait for something to fall in your lap. However there are often circumstances that can change your plan and you have to be able to adjust.


Posted Jan. 28, 2021 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
kdowney25

Join Date: 01/25/16

Posts: 183

RE: Gates is told by a mentor that "If you don’t set your own agenda, someone else will." Do you agree with this statement? How has this played out in your own life?

I absolutely agree with this statement and I wish I had heard this years ago. Much of my adult life has been spent with someone else setting my agenda and, sadly, I never realized that until recently. I thought it was always circumstances beyond my control. Being assertive and making my dreams happen became ideas for me later in life. I wonder how different my life would have been if I had been encouraged to advocate for myself and "reach for the stars".


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