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Do you think it would be worth becoming a mail-order bride if you were faced with similar circumstances?

Created: 04/06/15

Replies: 23

Posted Apr. 06, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

Posts: 1358

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Do you think it would be worth becoming a mail-order bride if you were faced with similar circumstances?

Why do you think Hikari and Lucy were willing to live under Killian's rules? Do you think it would be worth becoming a mail-order bride if you were faced with similar circumstances?


Posted Apr. 12, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
ruthiea

Join Date: 02/03/14

Posts: 86

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RE: Do you think it would be worth becoming a mail-order bride if you were faced with similar circumstances?

In many countries in the world women are nothing more than chattel. Arranged marriages, child brides, honor killings, legal beatings, all still exist, and even in more enlightened countries a poor woman may have few options when it comes to supporting herself. Women suffer more under oppressive governments and being a mail order bride and taking your chances on finding a decent man in a free and democratic country where you will at least not starve is not such an unthinkable option. Many mail order brides face abusive conditions here but there are legal measures available to protect them, they just don't always know about them.

On the other hand many mail order brides are opportunists and take advantage of the men the marry, so it can be a risky option for both parties.

That being said, as a woman in many circumstances I would certainly consider being a mail order bride an option.


Posted Apr. 13, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
gwenc

Join Date: 07/14/12

Posts: 25

RE: Do you think it would be worth becoming a mail-order bride if you were faced with similar circumstances?

As ruthlea so eloquently said, yes. I know of one marriage arranged totally by mail that has had a pleasant outcome for both parties. As I am naturally an optimist (might not have been one under those circumstances, true), I probably would have jumped at the chance, trusting the unknown to be better than the known.


Posted Apr. 13, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Retired Reader, NE

Join Date: 09/16/11

Posts: 165

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RE: Do you think it would be worth becoming a mail-order bride if you were faced with similar circumstances?

When faced with dire circumstances, women often have few options. In this case it was worth the risk.


Posted Apr. 13, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
caroln

Join Date: 04/14/11

Posts: 48

RE: Do you think it would be worth becoming a mail-order bride if you were faced with similar circumstances?

I can't imagine it, however I have never been in any other country but the USA and who knows how I would feel if I was considered a second class citizen and perhaps was living in poverty. I agree with ruthless said your chances for change were greater in a democratic country


Posted Apr. 13, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
rebajane

Join Date: 04/21/11

Posts: 184

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RE: Do you think it would be worth becoming a mail-order bride if you were faced with similar circumstances?

I would normally say no but if my life or the life of my loved ones was in danger ot there was no other option I cannot say I wouldn't consider it. But that doesn't mean you have to stay married if conditions are intolerable


Posted Apr. 13, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
tswaine

Join Date: 09/14/11

Posts: 37

RE: Do you think it would be worth becoming a mail-order bride if you were faced with similar circumstances?

That is a tough question. I think I might if I knew I would have a better life. And hoping there would be an option to get out if I felt I didn't have a better life.
Hikari and Lucy were willing to live under Killian's rules because they thought they were better off living with him than staying in their home country and dealing with their problems.


Posted Apr. 13, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
eileenf

Join Date: 04/21/11

Posts: 11

RE: Do you think it would be worth becoming a mail-order bride if you were faced with similar circumstances?

This is a question that I have always asked myself. The hope for a better life may be worth the try. Think of all the women in our country that stay in a unhappy marriage, because they feel that is the best they can achieve.


Posted Apr. 13, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
joyces

Join Date: 06/16/11

Posts: 397

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RE: Do you think it would be worth becoming a mail-order bride if you were faced with similar circumstances?

That is very hard to answer for some one who grew up in our country and never had to face the types of shame and ostracism that these two did. Obviously safety and security was worth it to them but in our post women's liberation society it seems very unlikely that I could think it was worth it.


Posted Apr. 13, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
sallyh

Join Date: 09/07/12

Posts: 85

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RE: Do you think it would be worth becoming a mail-order bride if you were faced with similar circumstances?

I think it's impossible to say what one would do in circumstances that most likely could never occur. Our environment influences the people we become, and most of us grew up in countries and times where becoming a mail-order bride would never be necessary. It's difficult for me to imagine giving up all control, putting my fate in the hands of a stranger, and hoping for the best, but I can't say that in certain circumstances I wouldn't have done it.


Posted Apr. 13, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
kimk

Join Date: 10/16/10

Posts: 285

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RE: Do you think it would be worth becoming a mail-order bride if you were faced with similar circumstances?

Oh, I absolutely think I would become a mail-order bride under the circumstances. Seemed like a 50/50 chance of happiness vs. certain poverty staying put.


Posted Apr. 14, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
arielf

Join Date: 04/22/11

Posts: 34

RE: Do you think it would be worth becoming a mail-order bride if you were faced with similar circumstances?

As an Americam citizen who has lived all of her life in the US, that is a hard question to answer. All that I have learned/heard, I would not want to be a mail order bride. With that said, if my circumstances were different, that might be my only option.


Posted Apr. 15, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
judithj

Join Date: 04/15/15

Posts: 45

RE: Do you think it would be worth becoming a mail-order bride if you were faced with similar circumstances?

It's difficult for me to imagine being in those circumstances, but when faced with such adversity, one must adapt or adjust. I was just sad for Hikari because she was completely dependent on Killian and he used that to his advantage. She was treated not as a partner but like hired help.


Posted Apr. 18, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
pennyp

Join Date: 03/22/12

Posts: 278

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RE: Do you think it would be worth becoming a mail-order bride if you were faced with similar circumstances?

It is almost impossible for meto consider arranged marriages or mail order brides, yet if I were from another country or possibly another culture within the U.S. I might feel very different. It might be the better option in some cases.


Posted Apr. 19, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
JAKL1

Join Date: 12/06/12

Posts: 55

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RE: Do you think it would be worth becoming a mail-order bride if you were faced with similar circumstances?

I am very in awe of women who escape from their cultures way of living. For these women to go above and beyond what is normal is a really determination of strength. I am happy for these women but also sad that they are really not getting what every human being on this earth should have and that is freedom of being who you want to be.


Posted Apr. 20, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Retired Reader, NE

Join Date: 09/16/11

Posts: 165

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RE: Do you think it would be worth becoming a mail-order bride if you were faced with similar circumstances?

It's always hard to judge what I'd do in similar circumstances, but I hope I would always get myself out of an abusive situation.


Posted Apr. 20, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
reene

Join Date: 02/18/15

Posts: 247

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RE: Do you think it would be worth becoming a mail-order bride if you were faced with similar circumstances?

It brings to mind the Native American proverb, "walk a mile in their shoes". I think until we actually have the experience we cannot say what we would do.


Posted Apr. 21, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
audrey1

Join Date: 09/02/13

Posts: 20

RE: Do you think it would be worth becoming a mail-order bride if you were faced with similar circumstances?

It is impossible to imagine how desperate life is in these other countries for women. This may be the only way to escape those circumstances and/or survive. Glad I have never been in that situation. These situations are not much different than arranged marriages in Europe and the United States in earlier epochs.


Posted Apr. 23, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
mal

Join Date: 09/09/13

Posts: 155

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RE: Do you think it would be worth becoming a mail-order bride if you were faced with similar circumstances?

Can someone tell me why there are no mail order husbands? Yeah. Personal choice, or circumstantial choice so I can't answer mail order bride question. Then again what's match.com?


Posted Apr. 24, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
kathleenb

Join Date: 09/14/12

Posts: 72

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RE: Do you think it would be worth becoming a mail-order bride if you were faced with similar circumstances?

Considering Hikari was going to be living her life in shame I can understand her getting out of her country by the mail order bride route. She wasn't that young and this was a good way for her to go. I think in her circumstances I would have done the same. It is too bad that her husband turned out to be so miserable.


Posted Apr. 24, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
kimk

Join Date: 10/16/10

Posts: 285

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RE: Do you think it would be worth becoming a mail-order bride if you were faced with similar circumstances?

Mal: I love that! "Why are there no mail-order husbands." LOL, that's an excellent question.


Posted Apr. 24, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
irisf

Join Date: 01/16/12

Posts: 97

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RE: Do you think it would be worth becoming a mail-order bride if you were faced with similar circumstances?

I can't begin to answer this question. Having been raised in a good family in the heart of the Ida makes it hard to understand the conditions other people are faced with. I would think that for some mail order brides the conditions are much better than what they faced in their native countries.


Posted Apr. 26, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
dianes

Join Date: 05/16/11

Posts: 64

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RE: Do you think it would be worth becoming a mail-order bride if you were faced with similar circumstances?

Would have to be some very dire circumstances to make me consider this. Can't imagine marrying someone I knew so little nor cared not at all for. But I am sure there are reasons that I cannot foresee that would make this a possibility. So glad it is not a decision I do, have to make.


Posted Apr. 27, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
reene

Join Date: 02/18/15

Posts: 247

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RE: Do you think it would be worth becoming a mail-order bride if you were faced with similar circumstances?

I believe Hikari did the only thing she could under the circumstances. Only she knew what her life was going to be like if she didn't find a way out. I think she must have had some hope, that she might find a man who would at least treat her with some compassion.


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