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When the Night Comes
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What do you think drew Bo and Isla together? Did you have an especially influential adult in your life as you were growing up?

Created: 04/16/15

Replies: 15

Posted Apr. 16, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

Posts: 1318

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What do you think drew Bo and Isla together? Did you have an especially influential adult in your life as you were growing up?

Bo and Isla form a special bond. What do you think drew the two together? Did you have an especially influential adult in your life as you were growing up?


Posted Apr. 20, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Gloria

Join Date: 03/11/15

Posts: 24

RE: What do you think drew Bo and Isla together? Did you have an especially influential adult in your life as you were growing up?

They each found what they did not have: Isla a father and Bo a child.


Posted Apr. 20, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
francinee

Join Date: 07/25/14

Posts: 14

RE: What do you think drew Bo and Isla together? Did you have an especially influential adult in your life as you were growing up?

Bo and Ilsa were drawn together because each experienced the absence of a father. Isla's father lived far away and seemed to tolerate an occasional short phone call while displaying no concern for his daughter. Bo's father was always away at sea. Bo remembers painting the family rowboat orange and sky blue when his father was ashore for the summer. After summer, Bo's father returned to the sea.

Bo and Ilsa spent only two summers in each other's company. Bo always found Ilsa's family waving to him when the Nella Dan docked. He had the feeling of coming home. Ilsa experienced Bo's gentle kindness. Bo taught Ilsa how to cook.


I grew up at a time when letter writing was much more frequent than long distance phone calls. It wasn't often that one travelled by airplane to visit relatives. As a result, I got to meet and spend time with my grandfather only four times in my life. These visits were very precious to me!


Posted Apr. 20, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Navy Mom

Join Date: 04/12/12

Posts: 183

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RE: What do you think drew Bo and Isla together? Did you have an especially influential adult in your life as you were growing up?

Bo had grown up without much contact with his father. The contact he did have with his father was special, so much so that he followed his father to the ship. But Bo was still lonely, especially after losing his shipmate. Isla was also alone, her father was absent and not really into her life. Bo filled the gap left by her father. I think Bo felt the Isla's need and recognized they had this in common. They filled out each others need of companionship by Bo taking on the role of "father" and Isla has his "child".


Posted Apr. 21, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
lindah

Join Date: 04/17/14

Posts: 90

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RE: What do you think drew Bo and Isla together? Did you have an especially influential adult in your life as you were growing up?

They both were missing fathers in their lives and were plagued by loneliness. Bo was a nurturing presence who taught Isla and her brother to cook, a skill her mother lacked and a task she disliked. He gave her confidence, direction and a sense of belonging. It was only two summers but it was life-altering for both to experience a strong sense of family ties with someone who was not kin. My beloved aunt was a rock, an anchor, a calm harbor and inspiration. We didn't live in the same town but I always knew I could count on her for love, laughter and great cooking and baking.


Posted Apr. 21, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
cprimack

Join Date: 04/20/15

Posts: 6

RE: What do you think drew Bo and Isla together? Did you have an especially influential adult in your life as you were growing up?

Loneliness drew them together. Isla's mom is not as involved in her life as much as she should be is an understatement. Isla may take better care of her younger brother than her mother does. But she is a child, not a mother. Bo has had to leave his homeland to work on the Nella Dan, and the ship embarks a lot in Hobart which is not his home. We know he misses his father a lot who died when Bo was younger because of his memories and his talk about his watch with Isla. So both are in very lonely states when they come into each other's lives and open and looking for someone to listen/talk to them. Just be with them/spend time with them.

I had someone like this in my life. I grew up with neither of my parents ever telling me that they loved me, ever coming to a school event that I participated in, or ever feeling "present" in my life. Similar to Isla's mom, if I wrote my life story, I would do best to write them locked in their bedroom with their TV. Where they always were. However, my grandmother lived next door and she was always there fully for me. She was a farmer and hunter everyday until she got sick and soon thereafter died in her early 80s. I have a newspaper clipping of her at age 80 winning our local turkey competition! We got up early and went out hunting with the men every morning; in fact, they looked at her like a hero, like "the boss" when we went out. She taught me that 1. A woman CAN do whatever a man can do and 2. I am limited by my body and my health not by my age or a number. What awesome lessons from a woman who had to drop out of the sixth grade to farm everyday.


Posted Apr. 21, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert

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RE: What do you think drew Bo and Isla together? Did you have an especially influential adult in your life as you were growing up?

I think that Isla looked up to Bo as a father figure.

I also had an adult in my life when I was in my early 20's who encouraged me to go back to school and acted as a teacher and a mentor telling me stories much like Bo did for Isla.


Posted Apr. 21, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
sandrah

Join Date: 07/18/11

Posts: 56

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RE: What do you think drew Bo and Isla together? Did you have an especially influential adult in your life as you were growing up?

Both are, in many ways, lonely people who have lost someone or something important in their lives. So each is searching for something or someone to replace that loss. For Isla it is a family and even though her father was more absent than home, Isla felt that something important was lost when her parents split. Bo, too, is lonely. His ship and shipmates help fill that void.

My family moved every 4 years beginning when I was 10. I lost the close relationships with my aunts and grandparents and although there were friendships in our new homes, they were never the same. To this day I am slow to make really close ties as my husband and children have made some big moves.


"The reader lives a 1000 lives before he dies. The [person] who never reads lives only one."
George R.R. Martin.
Posted Apr. 21, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
favel

Join Date: 04/21/15

Posts: 3

thank you from Favel Parrett

I am so moved by these comments - thank you for sharing


Posted Apr. 21, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
nancyh

Join Date: 06/25/13

Posts: 147

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RE: What do you think drew Bo and Isla together? Did you have an especially influential adult in your life as you were growing up?

I think they both needed someone. Bo's father was always gone when he was young. Also, the only friends he had was when he was at sea. He needed a shore life. Isla was such a lonely girl. She was not very close with her mother, they had just moved to a new place and left her father. They found each other when they needed a special friend.


Posted Apr. 21, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
nancyh

Join Date: 06/25/13

Posts: 147

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RE: What do you think drew Bo and Isla together? Did you have an especially influential adult in your life as you were growing up?

I forgot to answer the part about my influential adult. My father died when I was twelve, my brother and sister were older and had already left home, so it was just Mother and me. She was my influential adult. This was a good thing. I know she loved me.


Posted Apr. 25, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
joang

Join Date: 05/17/12

Posts: 26

RE: What do you think drew Bo and Isla together? Did you have an especially influential adult in your life as you were growing up?

I would have to say loneliness...and perhaps sadness.
The young girl without her father as a result of divorce. Is the divorce a result of some form of dometic violence or parental discord? The poem at the beginning alludes to that..."don"t listen to the shouting"..."don't listen to for the sounds". "It's just a stange dream that comes in the night". The young girl in a new place (an island no less). The young lonely girl. The young girl who is afraid of the dark. A sad young girl?
The mature adult...without a father for most of his life. In a "home away from home" , the Nella Dan. The mature adult, missing his family in Denmark. A lonely man. A sad man?
What developed is a beautiful, warm, trusting relationship. Bo brought "kindness" to her life. Isla filled a void in Bo's life.


Posted Apr. 28, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
deeh

Join Date: 03/03/12

Posts: 158

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RE: What do you think drew Bo and Isla together? Did you have an especially influential adult in your life as you were growing up?

I think they were drawn together by their mutual loneliness. When Bo was not on the ship, he was adrift on the land, looking for some connection. Isla, having an absent father and a distant mother, had only her brother and Bo to anchor her.
I was raised by a single parent, my mother. She had an interesting circle of friends and I was exposed to some very interesting adults who have had a life-long influence on me – to this day I have an acute interest in both ornithology and astronomy fostered by these kind adults.


Posted Apr. 29, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Sooz

Join Date: 07/29/14

Posts: 35

RE: What do you think drew Bo and Isla together? Did you have an especially influential adult in your life as you were growing up?

Obviously, both had the experience of an absentee father and having that in common probably led to their loneliness and desire for friendship. Bo became the father Isla never really had and I feel he enjoyed playing this role in her life. Likewise, Isla benefited from Bo's attention and learned much from him, helping her to grow into a knowledgeable sailor. Both shared a passion for life at sea and their friendship was quite lovely to follow and observe just how close they became.

I did have a very close relationship with my maternal grandmother. She taught me all kinds of handwork such as crocheting, tatting, and sewing. We spent many happy times together and she encouraged me to be more creative for which I am ever so grateful.


Posted May. 04, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
jeanettel

Join Date: 01/05/12

Posts: 53

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RE: What do you think drew Bo and Isla together? Did you have an especially influential adult in your life as you were growing up?

Like most everyone before me, I also think that what drew Bo and Isla together was the loneliness they both felt, they both had a father who was never present.
To Isla Bo was the absent father who taught her how to shell walnuts with a pocketknife, gave her mother cooking tips and showed Isla and her brother how to cook,
He shares stories of his travels, of his life at home in Denmark of the Antarctic and encourages Isla to pursue science when she starts he high school.
To Bo Isla is more of a daughter figure.
The most influential person in my life would be my mother who taught me with her example to be the total woman I am today.


Posted May. 06, 2015 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
tracyb

Join Date: 09/22/11

Posts: 63

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RE: What do you think drew Bo and Isla together? Did you have an especially influential adult in your life as you were growing up?

How & why do these; teachers, guides, mentors or angels come into our lives? Were they both in a time & place in life when it just clicked? The only thing that I can add is that they cared about each other. Time apart may have even strengthened the bond. We sometimes don't know what we miss or need until it is gone.

I often thought that I must be an alien child as I was so different from my mother & father still unknown. My first year & a half I was raised mainly by my grandparents & aunts & uncles. Their love & caring has helped me become the person that I am.


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