Do you think there is a way to remain loyal to someone without supporting their ideas and ambitions?

In the "A Conversation with the Author" at the end of the novel, the interviewer states that "One of the big questions throughout the book is to whom we owe our loyalty," and they ask Benedict, "Do you think there is a way to remain loyal to someone without supporting their ideas and ambitions?" How would you answer that question?

Absolutely. You have to have a strong moral compass of your own and know your own limits in terms of what type of behavior you will tolerate. One can love and support a family member without endorsing that person's behavior. I think Nancy would have been stronger if she were clearer in her own values and had been able to articulate to her sisters what she could tolerate ( in terms of their beliefs and words) and where she would stand in terms of actions they took to aid the enemies of their country.

Yes, I think we see that in many families with different political persuasions. You can remain loyal to your family members while not believing in the ideas and ambitions. I think Nancy remained as close as she could without being painted with the same brush of fascism or communism which her sisters were.

Up to a certain extent, yes. However when the values or deeds of another are illegal, immoral or dangerous, there has to be a line in the sand.

As much as I would like to say “yes,” I know personally how divisive politics and other beliefs can be within a family, particularly when one or more parties are extreme in their views. Bonds sometimes get tested to their limits.

Hopefully, if the bonds are strong enough, friends and family can remain loyal and loving to each other despite differences of opinion on social and political issues. Everyone after all does have a right to his/her position, but friendship and family ties remain throughout life while politics and society change with the wind.

Down deep family and very close friends can remain at least remain close even when there are differences but it is much more difficult when there are extreme political or social differences. But emergencies may bring them back together, even if only temporarily.

I believe that allowing someone to have different beliefs is fine. I have many friends with different religious and political beliefs. I could not remain loyal to a person who is harming the rights and freedoms of others.

A few years ago my answer would have been yes but seeing how divisive strong opinions about politics or Covid vaccines/treatments have become I’m not sure. I believe everyone should be able to express their own thoughts and opinions without being harshly criticized. However it does impact family and friend relationships negatively if lines are drawn in the sand about who is right and who is wrong. I hope we can meet in the middle or at least be willing to listen and discuss both sides.

I would like to think so but I am not so sure anymore. I have seen families ripped apart by divisive ideas. Boundaries, respect and communication should help preserve loyalty but I am not sure I could if the person stands opposite my core values.

Friends and family don't have to agree on everything but they need to respect each other's opinions. When they don't - which is happening more frequently - it makes it very difficult to remain loyal to them.

Yes, though it can be difficult. You saw this with Nancy. She attended a BUF meeting with her sister out of loyalty not personal interest. Once there was violence she was turned off but continued to love and support Diana on a personal basis. Although she didn't agree with her sister's views she struggled to do anything about it. Her initial decision was to write a satirical book, making fun of the BUF participants. It was only when Nancy discovered a serious level of treachery that she finally made a decision to report her. Guilt overcame her. She even visited her sister in prison. I think the love she had for her family was very strong. Only when Germany was at war with England did she feel compelled to take sides and action.

Of course - but that also depends on how deeply the ideals and ambitions are engrained in their behavior. In the case of Unity, she came at you like a sledgehammer with her adoption of the Nazi garb and other rituals. I would have had a hard time with her over-the-top demonstration of her loyalties. Diana was certainly more political and calculating in her behavior and while not always attractive at least would have been a bit easier to take.

You can retain a relationship if you put the relationship above the differences. Both parties have to be willing to do that though. I have friends with whom I disagree politically, but we've agreed to never talk politics when together. The friendship is important and we care deeply for each other. It has worked for us. However, not everyone is willing to avoid discussing differences.

Yes, but I know that I, personally, have a limit. I tried to be loving and supportive of some of my family members for decades until their bigotry got so extreme I just couldn't tolerate it anymore.

Loyalty is a tricky issue. One can be loyal to family members and friends or even to a cause, but I think each of us must determine what that loyalty requires of us. I may have a different political philosophy from my friend but respect his or her beliefs. Certainly if I am asked to compromise myself in a way that brings harm to another then loyalty is no longer possible.

As many have said, for me the answer is not as clear cut as it would have been a few years ago. Perhaps I could say that I can still love someone without supporting their ideas and ambitions. I think loyalty shows more support than I may want to show.

I absolutely believe you can, but it is difficult. I think loyalty becomes very fragile when you are asked to step away from your personal beliefs. The strain that comes with that kind of request, demand, will ultimately break the bonds of loyalty.

I agree with ruthiea; well said. I think there are cases in which you have to speak up against another person's words or actions. It is possible to go on showing love and acceptance to them through your own attitude and actions even if you have to limit contact with that person.

I just read all of the insightful comments already posted in response to this question. A question like this is why reading well researched historical fiction has become so popular among the readers I know. We need to understand the lessons of history. The Milfords might have lived in a different era but the issues exposed seemed so current. I knew almost nothing about the British Fascist sympathizers and I was shocked to read about the depth of their admiration of Hitler. However, could the parallels between then and now be any clearer? A book like this leaves you reeling with so many unanswered questions ...Why?...Why?...Why? I think most of the reflective people I know have been asking themselves this question daily for years. Maybe there is a way but it is hard.

Yes, family and friends can coexist with different beliefs. We need to respect differences, However boundaries should be set and it should be made clear that certain behaviors are not acceptable. In the novel, Nancy spent so much time questioning her own beliefs, that she never came right out and said she would not accept treason, or Nazi practices, until it became too late for someone like Unity.