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The Mitford Affair


An explosive novel of history's most notorious sisters, one of whom will have to...
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Do you agree with Nancy's assessment that "marriage is such a dreadful gamble"?

Created: 01/12/23

Replies: 17

Posted Jan. 12, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

Posts: 3442

Do you agree with Nancy's assessment that "marriage is such a dreadful gamble"?

Nancy believes that "marriage is such a dreadful gamble." What do you suppose she means? Do you agree with her assessment?


Posted Jan. 12, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Loveslife

Join Date: 08/01/15

Posts: 66

RE: Do you agree with Nancy's ...

I do agree with Nancy that marriage can be a gamble. People are complex and marriage can nourish growth or inhibit it There are many variables in marriage even in today's society. During the time of this novel marriages could often be confined with fewer options for women to support themselves and thrive if they make the choice to divorce. A strong marriage has to survive the test of time and so many things that cannot be controlled.


Posted Jan. 12, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
ruthiea

Join Date: 02/03/14

Posts: 271

RE: Do you agree with Nancy's ...

Yes, agreeing to marry someone is taking a big chance. You may think you know and love someone, but do you really? Even if you do, life throws things at us that can change a person, challenge a person, and drive a wedge between them. You have to take the chance that a we grow and change we do so in ways that make us want to still be together.


Posted Jan. 12, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
scgirl

Join Date: 06/05/18

Posts: 245

RE: Do you agree with Nancy's ...

Absolutely. You really don't know how someone is until you are married to them. Reactions to life events for an individual or for a couple can't be tested until they actually happen. Marriage responsibilities can be a burden to some and there are those who only want the privileges and security without the responsibilities. It is definitely a crap shoot!


Posted Jan. 12, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Gabi

Join Date: 02/22/21

Posts: 99

RE: Do you agree with Nancy's ...

A gamble yes but a “dreadful” gamble? Perhaps more so when marriages are arranged or when marriages are “business mergers” - otherwise, ”no risk, no reward.”


Posted Jan. 13, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Marcia S

Join Date: 02/08/16

Posts: 505

RE: Do you agree with Nancy's ...

Marriage is a huge gamble. One don't really know someone until that great commitment is made. Some individuals don't reveal their true selves until they are married. You can't hide yourself forever! Fortunately, many of us find someone who is truly committed and willing to preserve what one has.


Posted Jan. 13, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
paulak

Join Date: 04/21/11

Posts: 264

RE: Do you agree with Nancy's ...

Haha - yes, one that people don't fully understand when in the thrall of their hormones! Probably why nearly half of them fail. But it's interesting that, despite the ups and downs of Nancy's marriage, they seemed to find a groove over time which I found encouraging.


Posted Jan. 13, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
viquig

Join Date: 06/25/14

Posts: 82

RE: Do you agree with Nancy's ...

Aren't all life's decisions gambles? We make the best choice at the time and hope that they will work out. I don't think marriage is a dreadful gamble, however, unless one is forced into an unwanted marriage.


Posted Jan. 13, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
linz

Join Date: 08/12/15

Posts: 167

RE: Do you agree with Nancy's ...

I agree with Gabi, a gamble , yes but not dreadful ! Leaving your home is a gamble everyday but that does not mean you should say home! Not if you have love to begin with. It is work to be sure, but it should be loving work. You never do know for sure what will come your way, but I think too many people think marriage is like a movie, all sweetness and light. But life is not like that . And you have to be willing to work at it.


Posted Jan. 14, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Elizabetta

Join Date: 04/24/21

Posts: 48

RE: Do you agree with Nancy's ...

Yes marriage is a gamble. It requires much of both partners and hopefully it brings both love and satisfaction. Nancy lived in a different time with different expectations and mores. Ones social status and familial expectations often determined one’s partner. The use of the word gamble may seem extreme but I think it reflects the world these women inhabited.


Posted Jan. 14, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
carriem

Join Date: 10/19/20

Posts: 237

RE: Do you agree with Nancy's ...

Yes, marriage is a gamble but life and decisions made in one's life are a gamble. And yes, nothing is perfect and there will be disagreements throughout ones married life but love will usually resolve these.


Posted Jan. 14, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
mimimw

Join Date: 05/20/22

Posts: 26

RE: Do you agree with Nancy's ...

Yes - it is a gamble, but not a dreadful one. I think that’s why so many younger people are living with their partners before marriage to see if it “doable.” Sadly, by taking this approach they are not fully committed to working through the ups and downs that come with married life. True love is what makes you give a 100% every single day (between the two of you - some days one gives more). A worthwhile gamble if there is truly love.


Posted Jan. 14, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
kimk

Join Date: 10/16/10

Posts: 889

RE: Do you agree with Nancy's ...

Partnering up with someone is always a gamble, whether it's marriage or going on a trip with someone. There's a lot involved - a give and take, figuring out what someone's strengths and weaknesses are, figuring out how to work together instead of going about life on one's own. Marriage to someone is particularly risky since there's no easy out in most cases, and the longer you're together the harder it is break the bond. Even if you know someone really well, once you're living together 24/7 there's a different dynamic.


Posted Jan. 14, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
gwenc

Join Date: 07/14/12

Posts: 94

RE: Do you agree with Nancy's ...

Marriage is certainly a gamble - maybe more so in the 30’s, 40’s, etc. when it was often an ultimatum if a pregnancy occurred. As for dreadful I feel women have more resources to end bad marriages today.


Posted Jan. 15, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
ABeman

Join Date: 01/14/15

Posts: 78

RE: Do you agree with Nancy's ...

Gamble, yes. Dreadful, no. But that is entirely subjective based on my thus-far excellent experience with marriage. Nancy's experience was entirely different.


Posted Jan. 25, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
juliep

Join Date: 04/07/12

Posts: 250

RE: Do you agree with Nancy's ...

Yes, it’s definitely a gamble, especially when younger at a time when hormones rule. It’s hard in the earlier stages of a relationship to determine where your partner’s beliefs really lie. I have found that to be true in this day of political divide.


Posted Jan. 25, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
joanw

Join Date: 04/21/11

Posts: 61

RE: Do you agree with Nancy's ...

Marriage is a gamble. Let's face it, do we really know the person you are going to marry until you actually live with them for a while? It can be a beautiful relationship and continue to grow great and it can be mediocre or horrible Marriage is a give and take situation. It can be beautiful and wonderful but it takes cooperation on both parts.


Posted Jan. 29, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
reene

Join Date: 02/18/15

Posts: 497

RE: Do you agree with Nancy's ...

I agree marriage is a gamble, not necessarily a dreadful one. Marriage is a union between two people who will continue to grow and to change and to face challenges. Will they grow apart or grow together. That is where the work begins.


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