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Every Bone a Prayer


The the story of one tough-as-nails girl whose choices are few but whose fight ...
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Misty thinks her family only notices her when she's sad or hurt. Do you agree with her assessment? Have you ever felt like that? What did you do?

Created: 07/21/20

Replies: 11

Posted Jul. 21, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

Posts: 3058

Misty thinks her family only notices her when she's sad or hurt. Do you agree with her assessment? Have you ever felt like that? What did you do?

Misty thinks her family only notices her when she's sad or hurt. Do you agree with her assessment? Have you ever felt like that? What did you do?


Posted Aug. 04, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Marcia S

Join Date: 02/08/16

Posts: 435

RE: Misty thinks her family only notices her when she's sad or hurt. Do you agree with her assessment? Have you ever felt like that? What did you do?

When families are dysfunctional and dealing with so many issues, the members aren't focused on the individuals as much as on the problems they have. Thus, there is probably some truth to Misty feeling that her family doesn't notice. However, Penny notices that something is wrong and Misty denies it.


Posted Aug. 04, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
gerryp

Join Date: 08/04/20

Posts: 32

RE: Misty thinks her family only notices her when she's sad or hurt. Do you agree with her assessment? Have you ever felt like that? What did you do?

Totally understandable why she thought that. It was then that she received attention positive emotions from her family. As a child I felt that way, lots of positive energy is needed to understand our mistakes and all about life.


Posted Aug. 04, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Maggie

Join Date: 01/01/16

Posts: 386

RE: Misty thinks her family only notices her when she's sad or hurt. Do you agree with her assessment? Have you ever felt like that? What did you do?

I think all families are a bit dysfunctional but no I never felt like that. Maybe because I was the youngest of three girls. I received a lot of attention and love.


Posted Aug. 05, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
ColoradoGirl

Join Date: 05/16/16

Posts: 140

RE: Misty thinks her family only notices her when she's sad or hurt. Do you agree with her assessment? Have you ever felt like that? What did you do?

I think Misty feels very isolated. I agree with gerryp that it was reinforced with Misty that when she was sad or hurt, she got attention. I think it's also easy to ignore/focus less on kids that seem happy and you reach out when someone seems sad.


Posted Aug. 05, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Kathleen V

Join Date: 06/02/20

Posts: 14

RE: Misty thinks her family only notices her when she's sad or hurt. Do you agree with her assessment? Have you ever felt like that? What did you do?

I agree with Marcia S. Misty's family has such serious issues, and the adults aren't people who are stable enough to care for all their children's needs. Penny and Misty are mostly neglected by their father, and their mother is so unwell that she can't care for them fully, either. That neglect and lack of attention to Misty's well-being and even to physically where she is playing and with whom, leads to no one noticing or knowing what William is doing to her. Her extended family is boisterous, dramatic, and also flawed, so even if the aunts sense something isn't right, there's not a real earnest effort made until later in the story to make sure Misty is well cared for. Their intentions are good, but the follow through is not there until later.

Penny senses something is wrong, but by the time she tries to draw the information out of Misty, Misty feels so unimportant to her family that she can't communicate what's going on with William.


Posted Aug. 05, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
skagitgrits's Gravatar
skagitgrits

Join Date: 02/24/17

Posts: 47

RE: Misty thinks her family only notices her when she's sad or hurt. Do you agree with her assessment? Have you ever felt like that? What did you do?

Yes, Misty got attention when she was sad or injured or sick and was ignored when she was well and not complaining. This was an extreme but successful means to portray the extreme dysfunction in the family dynamic. Unfortunately, this is not an exception. Aren't we all a bit guilty of taking care of the problems and letting the good, though common, things sail by without comment or attention?


Posted Aug. 05, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
dianeh

Join Date: 08/01/16

Posts: 70

RE: Misty thinks her family only notices her when she's sad or hurt. Do you agree with her assessment? Have you ever felt like that? What did you do?

I agree with the previous comments. Every member of Misty's family has issues and it is understandable that a family member gets noticed only when there is a problem. This type of thing occurs even in well functioning families although probably not as pronounced.


Posted Aug. 08, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Jessica F

Join Date: 05/23/20

Posts: 146

RE: Misty thinks her family only notices her when she's sad or hurt. Do you agree with her assessment? Have you ever felt like that? What did you do?

Yes, Misty only gets attention when she is sad, hurt, or struck by a green light. Each family member is so self-absorbed in their own issues; therefore can not celebrate any of the "good/simple stuff" that is happening around them.
The mom tries her best to be a good mom, but her actions are misguided because of her clouded vision of religion, her pastor, and her husband.
As a teacher, I've seen this in a lot of children. There are usually two ways a child reacts when not being heard/seen....either they go inward and silent (Misty) or they act out in negative ways (yelling, tantrums, physical outbursts, etc.).


Posted Aug. 08, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
windellh

Join Date: 11/05/17

Posts: 72

RE: Misty thinks her family only notices her when she's sad or hurt. Do you agree with her assessment? Have you ever felt like that? What did you do?

Yes. We all do things to get attention(bad behavior, feigning sickness etc.). Children are often overlooked when family matters take precedence. Mom is the person Misty wants to please the most but Mom relies on outward things to fix an inner problem


Posted Aug. 08, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
LindaB.

Join Date: 06/11/14

Posts: 80

RE: Misty thinks her family only notices her when she's sad or hurt. Do you agree with her assessment? Have you ever felt like that? What did you do?

Yes, I agree with others that Misty was not getting the attention she deserved. As a teacher, often times I will see a child act out just to get attention in the wrong way, just because they may not understand something. Good behavior is often overlooked.


Posted Aug. 08, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Harley's Mom

Join Date: 02/21/19

Posts: 32

RE: Misty thinks her family only notices her when she's sad or hurt. Do you agree with her assessment? Have you ever felt like that? What did you do?

I think Misty is justified in her feelings. At the time of this story, Misty's parents are having marital problems and have decided to separate for a while. Her father is staying elsewhere and her mother seems consumed by the state of her marriage, thus ignoring signs and behavioral changes she might otherwise have noticed in Misty. While Penny gives the impression that she doesn't care about anything, I think she cares very deeply about her sister and thus notices things her mother misses. I have never felt like that since I was an only child and both my parents were at home.


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