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Tomlinson Hill
The Remarkable Story of Two Families who Share the Tomlinson Name - One White,...
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How is our personal success/failure shaped by appearance and how much by our family's past success/failure?

Created: 07/16/14

Replies: 8

Posted Jul. 16, 2014 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

Posts: 1358

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How is our personal success/failure shaped by appearance and how much by our family's past success/failure?

How much of our personal success or failure is due to our physical appearance? How much is shaped by our family’s past success or failure?


Posted Jul. 21, 2014 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
djn

Join Date: 05/19/11

Posts: 82

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RE: How is our personal success/failure shaped by appearance and how much by our family's past success/failure?

I think that we dont always realize how much this is true. This something that everyone should think about and realize what has been part of their successes and failures. I think the author did a great job of addressing this in the last chapter of the book


Posted Jul. 22, 2014 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
candaceb

Join Date: 03/30/14

Posts: 36

RE: How is our personal success/failure shaped by appearance and how much by our family's past success/failure?

I love this question because I see how fortunate I have been to have parents who provided me with so many opportunities and to be in a position where there were't a lot of barriers in front of me...my own hard work could propel me forward. I also see acquaintances who have come from wealthy families where so many doors were open to them that were not open to me...the old boys network is alive and well.
Manners....my Mom always emphasized good manners so" it would be automatic" and I now thank her for that . Often people with poor manners don't realize how something so little can shape how others' see us and influence our success or failure.
Another thought, seeing failures and persistence in our family can be a great learning tool. Realizing failure doesn't equal failure forever is an important lesson.


Posted Jul. 23, 2014 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
kimk

Join Date: 10/16/10

Posts: 285

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RE: How is our personal success/failure shaped by appearance and how much by our family's past success/failure?

It's unfortunate that a person's appearance can shape their success, and I'm not only talking about race. There are countless studies that indicate that pretty people are paid more & get better jobs - not to mention the impact someone's weight plays on their success.

And in my opinion it's not so much a family's past that impacts success, but how that family raises their child. If they place a priority on education, that child will probably do well as an adult.


Posted Jul. 28, 2014 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Beth350

Join Date: 04/15/11

Posts: 67

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RE: How is our personal success/failure shaped by appearance and how much by our family's past success/failure?

Canadeb and Kimk make good points. It's not only skin color or nationality that makes a difference. The part of the country where one lives, the opportunities provided by parents, genetic abilities among other things also play a part. I feel fortunate to come from a background where even my great-grandparents valued education and sent their children to college (not always the case in rural settings). In this part of the country which was settled in the 1880s - 1890s, it is still unusual for someone of my age (64) to be in the 3rd and 4th generation of college graduates. Thus, any successes I have are related to those earlier attitudes.


Beth350
Posted Jul. 28, 2014 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
ruthiea

Join Date: 02/03/14

Posts: 86

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RE: How is our personal success/failure shaped by appearance and how much by our family's past success/failure?

I agree that our parents can teach us how to work hard, present ourselves to make a good impression, etc, but sometimes they are not able, and mentors, teachers and/or others in organizations such as Boys and Girls Clubs and other charitable organizations can step in and fulfill that role. Schools can and should teach students how to write a resume, dress for an interview and role play for interviews as well. Even students from wealthy families can use this skill training. Young people need to learn that to succeed in life/jobs etc they need to work hard, do more than just the minimum, and that will impress their teachers, employers etc.


Posted Jul. 28, 2014 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
pennyp

Join Date: 03/22/12

Posts: 278

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What makes one successful

I think families have the major influence no matter what race or economic strata one comes from. Many people are fortunate enough to come from a family that is supportive and nurturing but there are also those that are influenced by a negative environment and become very successful. There are also many people who grow up and become successful with little or no family input but can point to a mentor they met along the way.


Posted Aug. 07, 2014 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
lbellg

Join Date: 02/23/14

Posts: 33

RE: How is our personal success/failure shaped by appearance and how much by our family's past success/failure?

I have envisioned and created a successful life for myself coming from a background of severe disfunction and ignorance. It is a blessing to come from a supportive family but it is not impossible to create a better life in the absence of that -- I've done it.


Posted Aug. 08, 2014 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
candaceb

Join Date: 03/30/14

Posts: 36

RE: How is our personal success/failure shaped by appearance and how much by our family's past success/failure?

I admire that Ibelig..kudos to you for your determination and strength.


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