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You'll Forget This Ever Happened


Secrets, shame, and adoption in the 1960s—a poignant tale of a mother's enduring...
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Do you think it's true that "life does have a way of softening just about anything that happened in your past"? Are there any wounds that time doesn't soften?

Created: 02/16/23

Replies: 12

Posted Feb. 16, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

Posts: 3442

Do you think it's true that "life does have a way of softening just about anything that happened in your past"? Are there any wounds that time doesn't soften?

In contemplating her past, Laura states that "life does have a way of softening just about anything that happened in your past." Do you think this is true? Why or why not? Are there any wounds that time doesn't soften?


Posted Feb. 16, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Marcia S

Join Date: 02/08/16

Posts: 505

RE: Do you think it's true that &...

Yes. Laura eventually had a better relationship with her parents. In most cases, life moves on and some things that were major lessen in importance later on. I do think that if Laura hadn't found her son, she would have carried that hurt forever. It's so sad that she lost him again.


Posted Feb. 16, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
mceacd

Join Date: 07/03/18

Posts: 132

RE: Do you think it's true that &...

It was true for Laura, but sometimes life just sharpens pain. Laura is a very special person who made the decision, whether conscious or not, to go beyond many past hurts and arguments and focus on the present. Her sons provided her with great joy. I think present joy softens the past, but her pain of losing her first child did not soften.


Posted Feb. 16, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
judyg

Join Date: 04/20/11

Posts: 72

RE: Do you think it's true that &...

No! I don’t think life softens the birth and forfeiture of a child. Ever.


Posted Feb. 16, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Bunner

Join Date: 09/09/21

Posts: 7

RE: Do you think it's true that &...

I would say that statement is often true although are some things in life are so incredibly painful that they can affect one for life. The pain may not be as acute as well it originally happens but often remains chronic. It never really goes away and continues to hurt


Posted Feb. 17, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
helenp

Join Date: 12/16/21

Posts: 28

RE: Do you think it's true that &...

I think it's an individual response. Some people can let things go and others don't have that ability. Being forced to give up a child is traumatic for the best reasons but Laura was FORCED to give up her child. I cannot imagine her pain and then her resilience to begin anew.


Posted Feb. 18, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
kimk

Join Date: 10/16/10

Posts: 889

RE: Do you think it's true that &...

I agree with Helen P that it's an individual response. I think some people are better able to move on than others. I know plenty of people whose resentment and/or pain haven't gotten any better over time.


Posted Feb. 20, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
caroln

Join Date: 04/14/11

Posts: 101

RE: Do you think it's true that &...

I agree with others, it is an individual response. Some of us are better able than others to move on and do so. While others never are able to let go of the pain or resentment, and being forced to give up a child is one hell of a reason to continue to be filled with hurt.


Posted Feb. 20, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
kdowney25

Join Date: 01/25/16

Posts: 183

RE: Do you think it's true that &...

I think pain and heartbreak softens a bit through the passing of time but it will never go away. But I’ve never had to deal with what Laura did. I can only imagine how difficult being forced to give up a child must be. Laura’s strength and resilience are amazing.


Posted Feb. 27, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Joyce

Join Date: 10/14/21

Posts: 79

RE: Do you think it's true that &...

I think if I take the question literally about time "softening just about anything that happened in your past" then I would say "yes". Softening is the key word. How you felt or reacted to or wanted to react to a past "hurt" is what's different. One thing for sure is you don't forget. Your anger doesn't go away. But your present day behavior is more realistic. For your own sanity you tolerate the source of your hurt. I think Laura's adult life was a good example of this phenomena.


Posted Mar. 02, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
skagitgrits's Gravatar
skagitgrits

Join Date: 02/24/17

Posts: 64

RE: Do you think it's true that &...

I think time does soften just about anything that happened in your past. I think the loss of a child would be terrible hard to get past but expect that it too would be hurt or "wound" that would soften.

The key I think is learning to let go of the anger if one is holding on to that emotion. Doesn't mean that you need to "forgive and forget"...that's different. But, if you can let go of that anger it is best for everyone but especially important to the person originally wounded.


Posted Mar. 04, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
nancyh

Join Date: 06/25/13

Posts: 347

RE: Do you think it's true that &...

All things soften with time, however, I believe they stay in mind and come to surface often, I know this has happened in my life. I have a good, happy life, but every once in a while I remember the loss of things past.


Posted Mar. 05, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
beckyd

Join Date: 07/31/19

Posts: 92

RE: Do you think it's true that &...

I too think it depends on the individual. Some people just can't let go of pain and hurt. I suppose how a person works through their grief and pain determines the quality of their life.


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