Were there gaps in the story you wish the author had elaborated on? What questions would you ask her if you could?

Were there gaps in the story you wish the author had elaborated on? What questions would you ask her if you could?

I did not feel there were any gaps, but one question I had is one that might be too painful for the author to discuss: I wondered if Richard had ever dealt with depression prior to the outcome in the latter part of the book. (I am trying to avoid a spoiler by wording it this way.)

She seemed to gloss over her transition from impoverished single mother to successful businesswoman, and I would liked more detail there. One question I have about that time is why she didn’t fight for child support and even alimony. While often fathers wouldn’t pay regularly, even then I think the courts would have required it. California was a community property state.

Laura’s story briefly touches on her prayer and spirituality at several points. I’d like to know more about how her spiritual life evolved after she married Nick. I’d also like to know more about what contributed to a somewhat better relationship with her mom: was it distance and time or did her mom feel like she needed to make amends for how she’d treated Laura?

One thing that concerned me was how much bleeding Laura was having long after birth. She kept asking about it but no one seemed to take her seriously. I worried for several chapters that she was on the verge of a major medical emergency. She never mentioned that it was resolved, but it's obvious that she didn't bleed to death, thank goodness. (My clinical background and a friend who almost did bleed to death had me worried).

I wondered the same thing as Joyce..there was no indication that Richard was experiencing symptoms of depression. That came as a total surprise but I do understand that so many people are unaware of the signs, especially if you are not with the person on a daily basis. It also had to be an incredibly painful subject for Laura to delve into with his wife or children. It was heartbreaking to read about, much less to endure as his birth mother.

I wanted to know why Richard killed himself. He seemed so happy to have found his birth mother and his siblings. From what the author said, he seemed to have a good marriage.

I agree with readers who had questions about Richard's depression. But I think I understand why Laura did not fill in those details. Richard had children and they might have been upset by reading about that. Sticking to the wonderful parts of her relationship with her son and new family was a good idea.

I would have liked to know more about why Richard killed himself. He seemed to have a nice family and he was building a relationship with Laura. So what was it that pushed him over the edge?

As others have written, I also wondered why Richard committed suicide. Unfortunately, education about mental health is inadequate in our country. Seeking help is often considered a weakness.

There is never a simple answer to "why?" Also, it might seem pedantic at first glance but there are good reasons why mental health professionals prefer the term "died by suicide." There are many resources that explain the importance of this, including https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/why-mental-health-advocates-use-words-died-suicide-ncna880546

"What exactly is the problem? Partly it’s in the language. Asking 'how someone could do this' puts responsibility on the victim, just as the phrase 'committed suicide' suggests an almost criminal intent. Depression and other mental illnesses are leading risk factors for suicide. This is why mental health advocates usually employ the term 'died by suicide,' as it removes culpability from the person who has lost their life and allows a discussion about the disease or disorder from which they were suffering.

Thank you davinamw for that article, extremely informative and so important. I learned a lot.

Laura’s description about connecting with Richard and his family gave no indication that Richard struggled with depression which made his death all the sadder while raising many questions in my mind: did finding his birth mother trigger this, was this related to work pressures, etc. Laura wrote that Richard was an assistant attorney general - did that work lead to his death? I did search and find information about Richard’s death. I think Laura did the right thing by not including the details of Richard’s death in her story because that would most likely have gotten readers distracted from the real reason for her story. And who knows, perhaps she’ll write another book that deals with the struggles with depression.