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The Paris Diversion


A pulse-pounding thriller from the New York Times bestselling author of The ...
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Discuss The Paris Diversion by Chris Pavone:
How would you define Kate and Dexter's partnership and the love that exists between them? What, in your view, makes for a stable relationship or marriage?

Created: 01/14/20

Replies: 11

Posted Jan. 14, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

Posts: 2225

How would you define Kate and Dexter's partnership and the love that exists between them? What, in your view, makes for a stable relationship or marriage?

At times, Kate and Dexter's relationship is tinged by residual tensions from past betrayals --- and yet their marriage endures. How would you define their partnership and the love that exists between them? What, in your view, makes for a stable relationship or marriage?


Posted Jan. 18, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
kimk

Join Date: 10/16/10

Posts: 419

RE: How would you define Kate and Dexter's partnership and the love that exists between them? What, in your view, makes for a stable relationship or marriage?

I completely and totally did not understand their marriage. There's absolutely no trust between them. Dexter lied - several times - to Kate, putting their future in jeopardy. Kate isn't honest about her job with him. What do these two have? In my opinion it's a horrible relationship, one which I would define as dysfunctional. Maybe I'd understand it better if I'd read the first book.

A stable marriage, to me, is based on trust and equality. I also think it's a matter of settling into your roles, where there's a shared understanding of who does what, and what tasks/projects you undertake together.


Posted Jan. 19, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
acstrine

Join Date: 02/06/17

Posts: 233

RE: How would you define Kate and Dexter's partnership and the love that exists between them? What, in your view, makes for a stable relationship or marriage?

I thought that Kate came across more as a mother to Dexter than a wife. A nagging, helicopter, controlling mother. How many times did she mention the Lego??? Early on in the book she describes seeing her marriage in a more mature way: "clear-eyed with no illusions, no misconceptions, no shortage of disappointments, resentments, grievances". What???? That would make a great Hallmark card! At this point in the book, we learn that Dexter and Kate had been fighting because Ben got sick while Kate was away for work- -working because she could not accept (or enjoy?) staying at home with her children and manipulated her old boss into creating a new position for her. I can feel her impatience with Dexter. It made me uncomfortable to be a part of the way she treated him. In some ways, I understand Dexter's own withholdings. He is probably in constant fear of being berated, minimized, not quite good enough.

I think partners need to be able to accept the good and bad parts of one another, to be able to forgive one another for not being perfect, and to trust that each is doing the very best he/she can at the time. When the road is bumpy for one, the other needs to offer unconditional love and support- -believing in his/her partner until the other can believe in him/herself again.

(kimk, the trust was still missing in the first book as well. Although at the end, Kate seemed to still hold a softness for Dexter in her heart.)


Posted Jan. 19, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
deeh

Join Date: 03/03/12

Posts: 204

RE: How would you define Kate and Dexter's partnership and the love that exists between them? What, in your view, makes for a stable relationship or marriage?

What will happen to those poor boys? Their parents are so mired in their distrust for each other that they can't set a decent example of what a partnership should be. Maybe the title should have been The Paris Dysfunction.


Posted Jan. 21, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
juliep

Join Date: 04/07/12

Posts: 145

RE: How would you define Kate and Dexter's partnership and the love that exists between them? What, in your view, makes for a stable relationship or marriage?

I agree with all of the above. Theirs was not a healthy relationship based on love and trust. In fact, I doubt that she even loved Dexter anymore, but just didn’t have the time, strength or energy to do anything about it. I’m not sure what he even brought to the marriage. I wouldn’t be surprised if the author writes Kate into another novel, but this time as a single mother.


Posted Jan. 22, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
katherinep

Join Date: 07/16/14

Posts: 235

RE: How would you define Kate and Dexter's partnership and the love that exists between them? What, in your view, makes for a stable relationship or marriage?

Kate's irritation with her husband, Dexter and his very weak showing were very off-putting. I don't remember this lack of respect and trust in the relationship in The Expats.

Love is important in any relationship but not blind love--there must be trust in all things. And respect. Kate had none of those for Dexter and her irritation showed that.


Posted Jan. 22, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
marys

Join Date: 05/24/11

Posts: 47

RE: How would you define Kate and Dexter's partnership and the love that exists between them? What, in your view, makes for a stable relationship or marriage?

Dexter is by far the character that I liked the least in this book - and Kate's reaction to his stock market speculation - equally frustrating. To me, Dexter is a lazy trader and will always take shortcuts for the big win, even it is illegal and could put his family in danger (again). Instead of confronting him and truly protecting her family, Kate seems to go along and turn a blind eye in order to enjoy the lifestyle to which she has grown accustomed. I think they are more partners raising children together than married.

In my opinion, you can't lie that much to each other and still maintain a healthy relationship.


Posted Jan. 22, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
alycet

Join Date: 04/23/12

Posts: 138

RE: How would you define Kate and Dexter's partnership and the love that exists between them? What, in your view, makes for a stable relationship or marriage?

Kate is the alpha in this relationship and it seems like she barely puts up with Dexter. It seems to be a loveless relationship.


Posted Jan. 24, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
marks

Join Date: 02/25/19

Posts: 30

RE: How would you define Kate and Dexter's partnership and the love that exists between them? What, in your view, makes for a stable relationship or marriage?

The relationship between Kate and Dexter is one of convenience, not love or trust. I can't imagine being married to someone I did not love or trust, but I can somewhat understand how it "works" for these two characters. Even though he forgets a lot of things, Kate could be comfortable staying with someone like Dexter because her job (especially the travel) would make it difficult to be a single parent, especially in a foreign country. Dexter could be fine staying it the relationship because he knows Kate is a safety net (literally and figuratively), and he might also recognize that it would be hard to find anyone else who would be able to do what Kate does for him. Plus, I have a few friends who would be completely fine with being married to someone who is counted on the make almost all of the decisions and hold the family together.


Posted Jan. 24, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
vivianh

Join Date: 11/14/11

Posts: 72

RE: How would you define Kate and Dexter's partnership and the love that exists between them? What, in your view, makes for a stable relationship or marriage?

This devolved into a marriage of convenience. When a couple is living together as expats, it is more difficult to make the decision to leave a dysfunctional marriage- particularly with children. There is also the consideration that the life of an expat can be extraordinary and the thought giving up the excitement and opportunity to enjoy the privileges of such a rarefied life is less appealing than enduring a failing marriage.


Posted Jan. 25, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
dorinned

Join Date: 10/13/14

Posts: 117

RE: How would you define Kate and Dexter's partnership and the love that exists between them? What, in your view, makes for a stable relationship or marriage?

This is part of the intrigue of this book and The Expats. As I said about The Expats: I was drawn to read this story because you cannot figure out who is doing what to whom!" The overwhelming mystery for me was the fact that neither Dexter nor Kate knew precisely what the other was doing professionally.

Having been married to my husband for over 61 years, and having established a relationship of complete trust in each other over all those years, it is incomprehensible to me that Kate and Dexter can co-exist with their evasiveness with each other. I guess that's another reason why I am wondering whether there will be a sequel to The Paris Diversion.


Posted Jan. 29, 2020 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
pnelson384

Join Date: 05/13/19

Posts: 25

RE: How would you define Kate and Dexter's partnership and the love that exists between them? What, in your view, makes for a stable relationship or marriage?

Kate and Dexter felt more thrown together than truly in it for the love and relationship. They were very distant from each other emotionally. This is not what good relationships are made of. Every marriage has ups and downs, but from these two books, Kate and Dexter's relationship feels like more of downs and potholes.


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