Recall times when "I wasn't really listening.

We believe we know what others are saying, asking or describing before they complete their sentence. How do we stop ourselves from placing our own values on others? How do you remain open to other cultures? How do you LISTEN?

I admired Melinda for admitting that she was not listening. She believed that providing contraceptives was an end to women's need. Her descriptions of how she learned to listen provided growth for me.

Unfortunately, sometimes we only hear, really hear, part of what someone says and then we think of our own response before the person has finished. I am working on total listening.

I can't count the number of meetings in which I suddenly "returned to earth" and realized I wasn't quite sure what the speaker had said but I was sure it was key. That's on the simple side. On the hard side are the real-life times in which I thought I was listening to a friend but didn't really "hear" the plea she was making. Listening should be active - what are people really telling me?

Unfortunately I shut down often when someone is saying something I disagree with and they don't stop talking long enough to listen to my point. But the flip side of that is maybe they realized I wasn't really listening and they needed to talk to get me to listen. Since reading this book I am trying much harder to really pay attention when someone is talking to me.

I am as guilty of this as anyone. There are times when I stop really listening because I am forming my own response, or when I simply lose the thread because the speaker has gone on for so long. I am trying harder to pay attention and really listen with my whole self to what the other person is saying. This book helps with that.