Joey feels that when he first got divorced that there was a "gravity-like pull toward remarrying." Later, however, he claims he "felt safe and comfortable" in his "castle of solitude." Do you feel his reactions to divorce are common?
Created: 06/02/22
Replies: 8
Join Date: 10/15/10
Posts: 3216
Join Date: 10/16/10
Posts: 730
I think a lot of people do go through something similar. People always advise not getting right back into a serious relationship after divorce because one's so eager to do it. After being so committed to someone it feels really lonely to be single again, even if the relationship that ended wasn't a good one. Perhaps less common is growing to the point where one is content being alone.
Join Date: 06/15/11
Posts: 211
Join Date: 07/28/14
Posts: 59
Join Date: 03/18/14
Posts: 24
I believe so. When I got divorced, the last thing I wanted was to get involved with anyone else. I have observed that many men want to remarry sooner than woman, just to have someone "take care" of them, while many (note I say "many," not "All" or "most") are perfectly content to be on their own.
Join Date: 09/03/19
Posts: 168
I’ve not been divorced so I cannot speak from personal experience. They do seem very normal to me. Although, I think lindaj has a very interesting point. My female friends who are divorced have zero interest in remarrying and it’s been close to ten years out for some of them. Perhaps, they will be more interested in a few more years. However, I seem to trip over a recently divorced man on the “ hunt” for a new wife every time I go out. It is an interesting contrast!
Join Date: 05/17/12
Posts: 86
I am not able to speak from experience also but his reaction sounds reasonable. What I really liked was Leela's approach to dating. She is 45 and he 46. She starts with an "experiment"...telling each other their worst faults, bypassing date #1, #2 etc, the getting to know you game. Although the "experiment" was its own game they got to know each other rather quickly. It allowed for the relationship to grow and develop at a deeper level. They knew there was a time limit.
Join Date: 02/03/14
Posts: 257
I agree with the above observances, but I would add that I was surprised by his lack of anger or irritation towards their exes. Usually when there is a divorced couple in a novel or movie there are so many issues to disagree about - custody, visitation, money, etc. I know they may fade as times goes by, but new ones can also arise. I found it a bit strange that none of these issues really factored into either Joey or Leela's decisions or even conversations.
Join Date: 03/03/21
Posts: 32
Yes, Joey's reactions are typical of an amicable breakup. I think many men learn how to accept change and spend quality time with their children after a divorce. There is no mother around to take over the childcare. Joey felt he had more time to get to know his children as a divorced dad. The single parent takes time to get to know a potential partner before bringing them into a family setting. Accepting the split without bitterness is healthier than holding onto ill will.
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