How did Barack Obama's sense of purpose affect their life as a married couple? Do you have someone in your life who supports or shares your own sense of purpose?

In describing her relationship with her husband, Mrs. Obama writes, "Coexisting with Barack's strong sense of purpose --- sleeping in the same bed with it, sitting at the breakfast table with it --- was something to which I had to adjust, not because he flaunted it, exactly, but because it was so alive." How did this sense of purpose affect their life as a married couple?

Do you have someone in your life who supports or shares your own sense of purpose?

I think this is one of the difficulties in her marriage that she does an excellent job pondering and struggling with. I am not, nor do I have anyone in my life with Barak’s sense of passion and commitment. His clear sense of purpose above almost everything is what makes him such a fabulous person. I do feel a strong sense of commitment to caring for family and friends. From the early dating stages, my husband recognized it and supported me in my involvement and “overgiving”. It’s not quite the same but it one of the reasons I love and admire my husband.

Although I admire her greatly, I think there were many times when Michelle Obama sacrificed a great deal to support her husband. She spent a lot of time parenting alone while still having a career when her husband was in politics in Illinois, for instance. She has never seemed to enjoy being involved in politics but she campaigned for him and did a very good job at it. She was a dedicated First Lady with numerous causes that she really cared about. Obviously, an outsider can never know the inner workings of a relationship, but theirs seemed a little lop-sided in his favor.

In the beginning, Michelle had to struggle to adjust to his sense of purpose. Though she never uses the word resentment, that I can remember, she felt the burden of being alone with the girls. Even more, in some ways, was her desire to carry on with her career, too. And as his commitment and ambition grew, her career became more and more onerous--that is to say--she could not continue it and be there for him and for the girls.

She had to find it in herself to think his commitment was important enough to her that she was willing to support it. Then, once he attained the Presidency, she found ways to utiilze her experience and talents to carve out a new career--that of First Lady with goals that aligned with his but not because they would but, because, at the heart of their relationship is an actual parallel sense of common purpose.

I always felt like I was the only one in my relationships with a strong sense of purpose. Only now, with age and maturity, do I appreciate those around me that have supported and ultimately shared my sense of purpose. This month I studied Ikigai - a Japanese concept meaning "A Reason for Being" which looks at the overlaps between your passion, mission, profession and vocation. This study took place as I was reading Becoming and I thought about how Michelle Obama (and Barack) would approach the completion of this exercise. It is so easy to move through life when you are doing what you love and what you are good at and it turns out that thing is something that the world needs and you can be paid for.

Michelle seems willing to sacrifice for the the greater good. She sacrificed salary and prestige in her career to help and connect with underserved people. She seemed to feel Barack had something extraordinary to offer the American people and was willing to sacrifice her time with him so he could accomplish that.

Michelle was willing to adjust, sometimes not easily, for what she saw as the greater good, a husband with a passion and a message and a plan. She led an extraordinary life before marriage and continued after in different ways. Were she not a strong person she could not have supported him while rasing her children, campaigning and being First Lady.

I agree with all the above posts, especially with how her strength and her value of doing for others allowed her, and her marriage to survive everything her husband through in her path. Although her husband always seemed to say he wouldn't do X if she really didn't want him to I wondered if their marriage would have survived had she try to stifle his calling for Public Service.