What communication issues do you see between the family members? Is there anyone in your family who seems to be the "designated communicator"? Why do you think they are in that role?

Communication, or lack thereof, is a major issue among the family members. On page 110, Christie expresses that she's hurt to not have been "included in the family crisis." What communication issues do you see between Jamie and Christie, Christie and Mike, Jamie and Mike, and Lou and Jamie? Is there anyone in your family who seems to be the "designated communicator"? Why do you think they are in that role?

I do agree with the reasoning behind Christie's ignorance about the family crisis. She actually wasn't a close family member. She learned about it in due time--I wouldn't include her in the "need to know" category. Yes, there will be those who say she's mother of Henry so IS a family member. But I don't feel the necessity is so in this case.

If the designated communicator is the one who notifies everyone about a tragedy, I suppose, if not being the tragedy itself, I'd be considered such. And the reason being I am the eldest!

The father of my child and I are divorced and have been since she was 5. We both made a conscious and determined effort to make sure our separateness did not extend to our child, even though she spent most of the time with me. When both of us remarried, that extended to our new spouses, with the understanding that the two of us as biological parents would still be the ones who were responsible for decision making. It has always worked beautifully for us. In this story, the already in place exclusion of Christie in decision making made the decision to not bring her into "the circle" believable and even understandable. Unfortunate, but understandable. Who knows how the story would have been different if she had been an active participant in her child's life prior to this crisis? Everyone's situation is different.

janeh said it very well and being in the same family situation I totally agree. If there was something that had happened to Henry himself then Christie should have been immediately involved. The inner family discussions would not be her business. Communication between Lou and Jamie was not as good as it should have been but I think that was mostly because of Lou and her inability to really bond with anyone. Lack of communications between all the others was a major factor with all of them.

The communication issues are on all levels and in multiple families. Family meetings would have helped these families and the encouragement of talking it out. I the one who gets our family together. I consider it necessary to be close to family. Really, what else do you have if not family?