What was your initial reaction when the author was given as a gift of labor to her ayeeyo? Did that opinion change when you learned how Salh felt about it?

As a nomad herself, Salh's mother considered it an honor for a young Shugri to help her ayeeyo with the demands of nomadic life. What was your initial reaction when the author was given as a gift of labor to her ayeeyo? Did that opinion change when you learned how Salh felt about it?

Initially it made me sad but very quickly it was a positive. She gained love, knowledge, and a freedom that many did not have. Not that the freedom was without cost but I think more valuable than the cost.

Frankly, I was rather appalled, but her reaction to it was so positive that I did change my outlook. She did gain many valuable experiences through her situation which, I guess, outweights the rest.

At first it seemed as though her mother was washing her hands of her, but to see the emergence of the relationship between Salh and her grandmother, I believe her mother meant to save her.

I was initially saddened, feeling that Salh was the sacrificial lamb of all the siblings. However, I also realized that I was seeing the situation through my lens and appreciated understanding Salh’s perspective - what she learned, her love for her grandma, her enjoyment of the sense of community and family. Additionally, I think instead of a disregard for her daughter, it showed her mother’s recognition of which of her daughters would thrive in the nomadic lifestyle.

Personally speaking, I think the “American” idea of family influenced my initial thinking about this. I couldn’t wait to graduate from high school and move away from family. I didn’t think for a moment what I may have owed my parents for all they had given me up to that point. By reading of other cultures, I’ve learned that familial attitudes, like those of Salh’s, are really a lot more common elsewhere in the world. I know I would have felt like I was being punished had I ever been sent to the desert to take care of my grandmother. Sahl saw it as an honor—a word I don’t think I ever recall being discussed in our home. I remember “don’t embarrass us”. I’m pretty sure there were some guilt trips thrown in too! I’m thinking how powerful it might have been or how it could have been different if my family had used more positive, affirming words when talking about family and obligations. Maybe I wouldn’t have been in such a hurry to move away on my own.

At first I was shocked that her mother would do this to such a young girl but soon I understood that was part of their culture or at the least her mother thought it was important to have help and learn from her grandmother. As the author reflects on her time with her grandmother she sees that it made her a stronger women and thus be able to handle difficult situations she may not have been able to.

My initial reaction was how could a mother do this, but the author explained it was their culture. Makes one stop and remember her life in Africa is not like in the US

I thought it was a beautiful gift to her grandmother and wonderful experience for Shurgri. I enjoyed my times where I would spend with my siblings with our maternal grandmother, and her siblings (my mother’s aunts and uncles. I cherished being with these courageous woman in my family, whose parents were freed American Blacks during slavery. I could have not learned the values and beauty of my heritage without spending the time with them. Equally I was blessed to stay with my sister with our paternal grandparents. My husband and I definitely wanted our children to know both their maternal and paternal grandparents as we did, especially my husband’s family is Jamaican. Unfortunately my parent’s had us each about 6 years apart in age, my brothers didn’t get this opportunity to spend summers with our grandparents and great aunts/uncles. I cherish all those moments. And it wasn’t like Shurgri didn’t see her mother. Her mother was quite busy with so many children and her own accomplishments. It was quiet a complex marriage and family structure. I think Shurgri had such a wonderful opportunity. And it was honorable and loving.

Like most of the rest of you, I was initially appalled - who does this to a child? Yet, it quickly became obvious that Sahl loved her childhood and wouldn't have traded it for anything. (In the end, it made her stronger than her siblings, which helped her to survive emotionally intact, which some of the others did not.)

I also was shocked initially that such a young child was sent by her mother to live as a nomad with her grandmother especially because her father valued education but came to understand her mother's reasoning that it is to maintain cultural tradition. At end it was a true benefit to her because her provided the strength she would need for life's hurdles.

I think like many who have written, I was shocked. Yet, it became evident early on that this was a positive experience for Shugri. Not only did she get to learn of her cultural background and the ways of her clan, she also received the love of her grandmother which would not have been available to her in any other way.

I actually did not think of it just accepting that this was probably not a surprising event for Somalis. Salh indicated that her mother had many children and because her mother had left the nomadic life, her grandmother needed someone to help her. Shugri was picked as a middle child but perhaps her mother saw some strength in her that she did not see in the other children.

I grew up in a large family where elders were honored and respected, and we spent much of our young lives with and in the home of our grandparents, so I wasn't exactly shocked by Shurgri's being sent to live with her grandmother. Of course, we didn't live so far away that we didn't see the rest of our family for such long periods of time as she did. It seems she probably never would have developed into the strong, independent person she became without that guidance and wisdom from her grandmother. How lucky she had that influence in her life, as hard as it was for her to accept at times.

I felt sadness, but at the same time I knew that this was my 20th-21st century Western attitude affecting my emotions. Salh valued her family tradition and knew the importance of caring for older generations with love.

At first, my reaction was sympathy and sorrow but as her story progressed and as Salh matured, I realized how she grew to love helping her ayeeyo. The experience forced her to grow emotionally, and gave her a strong sense of responsibility, especially to her family.

Like then other readers, I was initially shocked. As the book continued, it seemed quite common that children were passed around as needed. Salh really enjoyed those years with her grandmother and the experience clearly formed her into the strong woman she became.

I chose to read this memoir in order to gain insight into another culture of which I had very little knowledge, so my initial reaction was not judgmental, but curious about what qualities the author's mother saw in Salh that made her believe this was a good decision. And I admired the tenacity of her ayeeyo to accept the gift of her granddaughter not as a burden, but an opportunity to teach the ways of nomad life and continue the legacy of their clan.

I was sad for Shugri because I thought how hard it would be for this child to have to leave her mother. But it was an opportunity for her and her grandmother to get to know each other better and for the grandmother to receive the help she needed. When I was growing up, my grandparents were farmers and for a week each summer I would visit them. It helped me to learn about farm life and growing vegetables that I didn’t know about since I lived in the city.