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Being Mortal


An eye-opening and riveting look at how how medicine can not only improve life...
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Discuss Being Mortal by Atul Gawande:
If you had to make a choice for a loved one between ICU and hospice, what would you most want to know from them? What would you be willing to endure and what would you not be willing to endure for the possibility of more time?

Created: 09/01/17

Replies: 11

Posted Sep. 01, 2017 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

Posts: 1584

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If you had to make a choice for a loved one between ICU and hospice, what would you most want to know from them? What would you be willing to endure and what would you not be willing to endure for the possibility of more time?

Discuss the often-politicized end-of-life questions raised in the closing chapters of Being Mortal. If you had to make a choice for a loved one between ICU and hospice, what would you most want to know from them? Susan Block's father said he'd be willing to go through a lot as long as he was able to still "eat chocolate ice cream and watch football on television." What would you be willing to endure and what would you not be willing to endure for the possibility of more time?


Posted Sep. 12, 2017 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
renem

Join Date: 12/01/16

Posts: 182

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RE: If you had to make a choice for a loved one between ICU and hospice, what would you most want to know from them? What would you be willing to endure and what would you not be willing to endure for the possibility of more time?

I would most want to know what were their fears and hopes. For myself, it is more about what I would not be willing to endure (pain, unaware of my surroundings, and loss of bodily functions).


Posted Sep. 12, 2017 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
alycet

Join Date: 04/23/12

Posts: 101

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RE: If you had to make a choice for a loved one between ICU and hospice, what would you most want to know from them? What would you be willing to endure and what would you not be willing to endure for the possibility of more time?

I would have to know their thoughts and feelings. My desire would be to give them the least amount of suffering and to keep them with me.


Posted Sep. 12, 2017 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Sooz

Join Date: 07/29/14

Posts: 42

RE: If you had to make a choice for a loved one between ICU and hospice, what would you most want to know from them? What would you be willing to endure and what would you not be willing to endure for the possibility of more time?

If they were still able to communicate their wishes, I would always try to listen to their input as it is their life journey we would be talking about. If I had to make the decision for them, I would probably decide on hospice care to keep my loved one comfortable as I have had nothing but ultra-positive experiences with hospice whenever they have been involved with my own and other's loved ones.


Posted Sep. 13, 2017 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
josephinej

Join Date: 05/11/15

Posts: 31

RE: If you had to make a choice for a loved one between ICU and hospice, what would you most want to know from them? What would you be willing to endure and what would you not be willing to endure for the possibility of more time?

Were they able to articulate their wishes before the choice had to be made? I'd go with that. For me, I want to be as comfortable as possible. I do not wish to be kept "alive" with no consciousness and/or in pain.


Posted Sep. 13, 2017 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
louisee

Join Date: 06/29/15

Posts: 91

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RE: If you had to make a choice for a loved one between ICU and hospice, what would you most want to know from them? What would you be willing to endure and what would you not be willing to endure for the possibility of more time?

I would choose hospice, its the best chance to die at home surrounded by loved ones and familiar things. ICUs has too many restrictions on visits and usually the patient has IVs and other things attached to them. I would hope to endure what my loved ones chose - ICU or hospice. I would want them to die a peaceful death.


Posted Sep. 14, 2017 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
elise

Join Date: 04/22/11

Posts: 34

RE: If you had to make a choice for a loved one between ICU and hospice, what would you most want to know from them? What would you be willing to endure and what would you not be willing to endure for the possibility of more time?

I would want to know if there was any chance for survival and what those odds were. If there was little chance then I would choose hospice. I personally would be willing to try most anything at this point in my life. My kids are in their early 20s and haven't married or had children yet. I help my mother -so I would try. I'm sure my mother would feel differently though since she's lead a fairly full life.


Posted Sep. 14, 2017 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
marianned

Join Date: 07/02/15

Posts: 46

RE: If you had to make a choice for a loved one between ICU and hospice, what would you most want to know from them? What would you be willing to endure and what would you not be willing to endure for the possibility of more time?

First, I hope I would not have to make that decision or would think ahead enough to ask loved ones for whom I might be asked to make such a decision what their preferences are. This book is certainly a wake-up call for me to make my own wishes known to my husband and family now rather than later. What would I be willing to endure for the possibility of more time? If my loved one was in unbearable pain because of a terminal illness, while it would be hard to say goodbye, I would not want him/her to endure that pain just for my sake. That would be selfish.


Posted Sep. 14, 2017 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
paulagb

Join Date: 08/16/17

Posts: 39

RE: If you had to make a choice for a loved one between ICU and hospice, what would you most want to know from them? What would you be willing to endure and what would you not be willing to endure for the possibility of more time?

I had this chance last year with my 95 year old mother. We had talked for the last several years about her desire to die at home. Even in the years before when she needed to be in the hospital she was anxious to return home as soon as possible. I learned from her over the years that being in control of her life was of tantamount importance. Last summer my mother had a debilitating stroke. It was very difficult not to call an ambulance, but she had elected hospice about a year earlier. Had we not talked about and chosen hospice it would have been gutwrenching not to select ICU. My mother made the choice and saved me from worrying that she should lying in a hospital attached to life extending tubes.


Posted Sep. 26, 2017 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
janp

Join Date: 05/11/15

Posts: 31

RE: If you had to make a choice for a loved one between ICU and hospice, what would you most want to know from them? What would you be willing to endure and what would you not be willing to endure for the possibility of more time?

I would hope to know their end of life wishes and I would follow them. If they did not express them, then I would act based on their conversations about others in a similar situation. My choice would always be hospice care. I could not endure attempts to prolong life at end stage.


Posted Oct. 09, 2017 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
kbschaffer

Join Date: 03/20/17

Posts: 8

RE: If you had to make a choice for a loved one between ICU and hospice, what would you most want to know from them? What would you be willing to endure and what would you not be willing to endure for the possibility of more time?

I would hope to make the end of life a party in which the important people are gathered to exchange stories, to support each other, and most importantly to laugh. The setting should include comfortable music, laughter, wine, bright sunlight or a sparkling night sky lite with stars and a full moon. Those individuals would be there not necessarily to grieve but rather, as joyfully as possible, say good bye to their friend or family member.

There should be no tubes, no intercom, no medicinal smells. There should be a sense of the life lead by the individual. Anyone up for white wine and Sven and Ole jokes?


Posted Nov. 07, 2017 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
scottishrose

Join Date: 07/24/11

Posts: 51

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RE: If you had to make a choice for a loved one between ICU and hospice, what would you most want to know from them? What would you be willing to endure and what would you not be willing to endure for the possibility of more time?

I would choose hospice. My dad suffered a brain hemorrhage on the day he was supposed to return to assisted living from the hospital. Because he had been badgered into getting a pacemaker the summer before by hospital staff, it took him days for his body to shut down and die as his heart was beating strong. He had a DNR order, so we knew to refuse any surgery that could release the pressure on his brain but he would probably never have come out of the coma and if he did he wouldn't have had a life. But due to the length of time it was taking for him to die, my sister and I had talked about moving him closer to home with hospice care and after two days, the doctor even suggested. But he died the night before he was going to be moved.


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