How do we strike a balance between our fear of dying and our hope for a long, healthy life, while still confronting reality?

How do we strike a balance between our fear of dying and our hope for a long, healthy life, while still confronting reality?

Reading this book was a good start. With knowledge comes understanding which helps us to make better decisions.

Reality is we will die. When we will die done is unknown. How we will die can be somewhat under our wishes if we preplan.

It would easier to face the reality of our demise if doctors/medical personnel were honest with us about the real probable outcome of one's physical state and what treatments would actually accomplish. Then one could base their decisions on the truth, and not on someone pushing longevity at any cost.

The language we use with dying does not help us. Especially with disease we talk about fighting it as when we stop fighting or accepting treatment we have failed. No one really fights cancer. We need to admit we only accept treatment. The patient should not be blamed for his disease or failing to resist disease by accepting less and less effective treatment at a higher and higher cost.

I think if one has made their wishes known via a Advanced Directive and complete a POLST document with the hospital the family and Medical Team know how to handle the situation. In the end we all pass on.

One needs to have a game plan while one is still cognizant to talk about options and share this with family members. There are many organizations which provide a booklet that one can start thinking about what their final wishes will be. Now ask me if I have done this. No, life gets in the way but I think what a relief for my family it would be. It takes the terrible burden of trying to ascertain what your loved one would want in the most emotionally charged time and puts in clearly in your hands...in black and white.

We need to have health care professionals spell out the risks and promises for treatments. We need to be keepers of our self and ask to be informed of the risks/benefits.

Such a tough question. Eighteen years ago I was told that I had one, maybe two years to live as my breast cancer had spread to my lymph nodes. I didn't give up and found a fabulous doctor that encouraged me and always gave me hope. That being said, I hope when the time comes to make a decision on treatment for whatever I am facing that I will have the wherewithal to make the right decision. This book has certainly made me think about this a lot. I think having good quality of life must be the determining factor. Anyone that has undergone months of chemotherapy and radiation knows it is a battle. I think once the bad days outweigh the good ones, it's time to confront reality.

What this book did for me is make more real the need for everyone to do as long as they possibly can what we’re told to do every day: exercise, eat well, keep the mind active, and spend time in the companionship of others (social activity). We have to do whatever we possibly can to realize our hope for a long, healthy life. This book brought home graphically what happens towards the end, which was depressing, I have to admit. Now I can go through the rest of my life being more aware of what is happening to me as I age. Fortunately, my doctor is a geriatric physician that I trust, so I can turn to him when I think I’m having problems - and he’ll be aware of them because he’s known me for so long. The hard part for me now is going to be forgetting how bad things are going to get to enjoy the rest of my life. Gawande didn’t help me with that.

Maybe the way is to educate and prepare ourselves while we're still healthy.

Maybe the way is to educate and prepare ourselves while we're still healthy.