I agree with renem. Caregivers are not only struggling with role reversals, but with the sudden burden of making decisions that can break so many different pieces of their lives and the lives of their families. No one should have to manage everything in a vaccuum. She should not have had to deal with the doctors, her husband's demands, her father's wishes, holding a job, worrying about money in the confused, often blind way she was forced to. There should have been a clear and accessible way for her to get the information and help she needed without having to search all over and try so many different ways to get her father what he needed.
The conversation in this country is changing, but it needs to happen more quickly, more completely in order to help those who need it now. There need to be active conversations and training for those whose parents are still very healthy and independent so that it becomes normalized. There needs to be a complete change in how the medical community treats people and their illness or infirmity. Investors need to think about how they want to be treated or taken care of as they age and take steps to make that happen for themselves and others. Should they come to care, I think there will be many more options for the types of housing/care centers available, which would mean that the costs could come down and the quality of life would increase.