Not Logged in.
Book Jacket

The Love of My Life


An up-all-night love story wrapped in a mystery from the New York Times ...
More about this book

Emma says, "that's the thing with memory: it makes up its own stories. They harden and calcify in just the same way as facts." What do you think she means? Do you agree?

Created: 01/26/23

Replies: 13

Posted Jan. 26, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

Posts: 3442

Emma says, "that's the thing with memory: it makes up its own stories. They harden and calcify in just the same way as facts." What do you think she means? Do you agree?

Emma's memory of the shed differs from reality. "That's the thing with memory: it makes up its own stories. They harden and calcify in just the same way as facts." What do you think she means? Do you agree?


Posted Jan. 26, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
susiej

Join Date: 10/15/14

Posts: 363

RE: Emma says, "that's the ...

An individual's memory is not necessarily the truth - though it may appear to be the truth to the individual who is remembering, it may be that one person's reality - but as each person experiences and remembers things differently, each may have a slightly different memory. As we remember, once and again a moment from our past, that moment becomes fixed in our minds, or as Emma said, it may "harden and calcify" and in doing that it becomes a fact to us, those doing the remembering. As I've recently experienced this when talking with my sister about an incident from our childhood, I do agree with Emma. My sister and I both were present for the incident but remember it in completely different ways; each of us can even provide our own details to support our viewpoint. The event has become fact to each of us, even as we recall it differently.


Posted Jan. 26, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
wendya

Join Date: 01/06/22

Posts: 13

RE: Emma says, "that's the ...

we all live in multiple realities...one fictional and one truthful!


Posted Jan. 26, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
ssh

Join Date: 02/04/14

Posts: 99

RE: Emma says, "that's the ...

I agree. I thought of my sisters and myself sharing childhood memories also, now that we are all seniors. We do so often have different memories and views of the same event. I have noticed that with shared memories that my husband and I have also. I do think "memory makes up its own stories" often enough!


Posted Jan. 26, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
bettyt

Join Date: 05/12/11

Posts: 228

RE: Emma says, "that's the ...

If you are told something often enough, it becomes a fact to you. Also, our memories may be partially true with certain elements "misremembered." An example, I have a friend that I knew when we were teens. One of her sisters was attacked by a friend. All these years in my memory it was J that was attacked. But recently I had a conversation with my friend and found that it was her sister A that was attacked.


Posted Feb. 04, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
rebeccak

Join Date: 05/26/12

Posts: 78

RE: Emma says, "that's the ...

I agree that memory makes up its own stories that we begin to think of as fact. Even hearing a story from my childhood from multiple family members, I can almost convince myself that I remember it happening, but I really would have had no idea unless people told me about the story. Or, we may focus on one very negative or very positive aspect of a situation and later, then recalling the situation, it might seem more positive or more negative than it really was because of the particular focus we put on one tiny part of it.


Posted Feb. 04, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
rebeccak

Join Date: 05/26/12

Posts: 78

RE: Emma says, "that's the ...

I agree that memory makes up its own stories that we begin to think of as fact. Even hearing a story from my childhood from multiple family members, I can almost convince myself that I remember it happening, but I really would have had no idea unless people told me about the story. Or, we may focus on one very negative or very positive aspect of a situation and later, then recalling the situation, it might seem more positive or more negative than it really was because of the particular focus we put on one tiny part of it.


Posted Feb. 05, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
gallupkrb

Join Date: 01/26/23

Posts: 9

RE: Emma says, "that's the ...

It’s almost scary how unreliable our memories are. Russo’s Old Cape Magic was the first time I ever even thought about how fallible my memories might be. Almost makes me wish I could go back and revisit some past events in my life.
Almost


Posted Feb. 05, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
vivianh

Join Date: 11/14/11

Posts: 160

RE: Emma says, "that's the ...

I so agree. My siblings and I have completely different memories of the same events. We each process experiences through different lenses. And time alters memory. Sometimes I believe we convince ourselves that our truth is the only truth. This is one of the reasons why eye witnesses are the least reliable in criminal trials.


Posted Feb. 06, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
irisf

Join Date: 01/16/12

Posts: 136

RE: Emma says, "that's the ...

I’ve seen enough revisionist history in my personal life to agree wholeheartedly. It sometimes amazes me to see how people often rewrite personal history while having no intent to lie or deceive. In these instances I’ve learned not to dispute the facts as the “writer” fully believes in their personal truths


Posted Feb. 06, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
dorothyl

Join Date: 04/15/12

Posts: 146

RE: Emma says, "that's the ...

All the comments above were very insightful and I agree that our memories are not absolute and often not verifiable. It makes me think of the movie I saw a very long time ago "Rashomon." There were 4 versions of "the truth" and then there was the truth. Great film.


Posted Feb. 08, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
jackieh

Join Date: 08/16/19

Posts: 14

RE: Emma says, "that's the ...

My two sisters and I often talk about events...some we remember the same way, others are different. But each of us has her own truth. Often our individual relationship with our parents shades our memories of childhood.


Posted Feb. 13, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
llsmill

Join Date: 02/13/13

Posts: 38

RE: Emma says, "that's the ...

Memory can be recalled by the people who were there at the time and each one may remember it differently, depending on their state of mind and what was more important to them.


Posted Feb. 16, 2023 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
marks

Join Date: 02/25/19

Posts: 112

RE: Emma says, "that's the ...

I mentioned this in another comment, but it is applicable here. In One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Chief Bromden says, "It's the truth even if it didn't happen." Whether it is him, Macbeth being “in blood / Stepped in so far,” or in real life, sometimes the lie (or perception of the lie) becomes more important than reality.


Reply

Please login to post a response.