Do you feel Emma withheld the information about Leo's adoption for the reasons she gives, or was it just an excuse to avoid a difficult subject?

Emma informs Leo that she didn't tell him about her past because of his reaction to finding out he was adopted. He says that he would have understood and "taken it without judgement." Do you believe that's true? Do you feel Emma withheld the information specifically for that reason, or was it just an excuse to avoid a difficult subject?

I think it was more an excuse than a legitimate reason. She was already waiting for the right moment to talk to him about her background. I think it just kept getting easier to put it off than broach a subject that could cause waves in the relationship. But I also don't think Leo would have "taken it without judgment" as he believes, particularly as time progressed. Conversations like these are always challenging, but it seems to me holding on to past secrets becomes more damaging the farther one gets in a relationship. Plus, if it's going to break the bond, wouldn't it be better to have that happen sooner rather than later?

I think it was an excuse. She admits that she never would have told him if he hadn’t found out that she had been lying to him.

The longer she held information from him, the harder it became for her to tell the truth. I think she underestimated him and could have lost everything because of her lack of trust in him.

I believe Emma used it as an excuse. Actually it would have been the perfect time to tell Leo. ‘Speaking of secrets….I have a few you should know about’.
I’m a firm believer in transparency in relationships with regard to issues that matter. The whole university degree secret I thought should have been a non issue. Why lie about that?

The evening I met my husband, he asked if he could ask me some questions about my past. I said…ask away. I’m too old to play silly games. Like me for who I am, or not….

I, too, believe that Emma used it as an excuse. The longer she waited, the harder it became to be honest - and as JamieK says, she does admit she would have kept the secret had he not discovered her lying.

I believe Emma withheld the truth for reasons other than possibly bringing up difficult memories of Leo's adoption. That was only an excuse she used to justify her actions to herself and, eventually, to Leo. Even at the end of the book, Leo asked Emma if she would have told him eventually and she said no.

I don’t think she ever intended to tell Leo. She was very comfortable in the relationship and had no reason to confess.

I felt that telling Leo the truth might have helped him to understand how difficult it was for his birth mother to have given him up

I think Emma hid the adoption and other information about her arrest because she was made to feel guilty about giving him up. Her "friend" Jill made her have feelings of guilt because she kept telling her we could have raised him. I'm always here for you. I arranged it all for you to meet your son. She made Emma feel that Jill had her life together even if Emma didn't feel that way.Emma, I feel, just didn't want to disappointment one more person with her past. When Janice lied about her trying to smother Charlie and ended up with her staying longer in a psych unit because of something she didn't do being pinned on her just so Jeremy and Janice could adopt the baby. Emma was made to feel guilty by her jealous friend Jill, lied to keep her in a psych unit longer and make her feel that she could not be a decent mother to her baby so Janice could be a mother and felt she could not tell Leo because he would drop her because of her past.

It works as both an excuse and as what she really believed (or made herself believe). Once she admitted that she wouldn't have told Leo unless these other events occurred, it is impossible to totally discount the idea that she did it for selfish reasons. Still, I liked the way she explained her reasons, and I found myself thinking of it as I did when reading One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and Chief says, "It's the truth even if it didn't happen." In a way, her rationales became her perception of truth.

I think that it is a combination of the two. She already felt so much guilt about her decisions that she found them difficult to discuss. Learning that Leo was adopted and his reaction to being adopted made it even harder to tell him the truth since she feared that he would find what she did unforgivable.