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The Opposite of Everyone
"Quirky and appealing characters, an engaging story, and honest dialogue make...
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Julian tells Paula that he is tougher than she thinks, telling her how he cared for his mother in the hospice.

Created: 12/01/16

Replies: 8

Posted Dec. 01, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
renem

Join Date: 12/01/16

Posts: 73

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Julian tells Paula that he is tougher than she thinks, telling her how he cared for his mother in the hospice. What have you done for family that made you uncomfortable, but did it anyway out of love?

What part of the book touched you in a personal way?


Posted Dec. 03, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Lois Irene

Join Date: 01/20/16

Posts: 33

RE: Julian tells Paula that he is tougher than she thinks, telling her how he cared for his mother in the hospice.

Because Julian looks "white" and was adopted by loving middle class parents, I think that Paula concludes that he is a softie and could never have the toughness that she has, after her unconventional childhood, including "juvie." I think that one thing that Paula may overlook is the fact that toughness can be gained from being loved and undamaged - as in Julian's case. He was allowed to grow up whole.
The fact that he cared for his mother at the end of her life says a great deal about him as a son and as a compassionate human being.


Posted Dec. 04, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
renem

Join Date: 12/01/16

Posts: 73

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RE: Julian tells Paula that he is tougher than she thinks, telling her how he cared for his mother in the hospice.

Well said! Paula finally gave some thought to what it must have been like for her mother in the end and was perhaps feeling guilty that she wasn't there for her.


Posted Dec. 05, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
tracyd

Join Date: 05/31/15

Posts: 30

RE: Julian tells Paula that he is tougher than she thinks, telling her how he cared for his mother in the hospice.

Very true, Lois! I wonder if Paula can understand how difficult that type of care is considering her lack of non-sexual contact or loving contact with anyone.


Posted Dec. 05, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
nancyh

Join Date: 06/25/13

Posts: 147

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RE: Julian tells Paula that he is tougher than she thinks, telling her how he cared for his mother in the hospice.

I agree with Lois. Paula takes Julian's compassion as a weakness. She never learned to have the family love Julian had with his family.


Posted Dec. 06, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
estherl

Join Date: 09/02/13

Posts: 10

RE: Julian tells Paula that he is tougher than she thinks, telling her how he cared for his mother in the hospice.

I don't think Julian's care for his mother shows toughness but incredible love and compassion. Paula's life has formed her toughness and she has to learn from Julian to open her heart.


Posted Dec. 07, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
cm28015

Join Date: 11/01/15

Posts: 26

RE: Julian tells Paula that he is tougher than she thinks, telling her how he cared for his mother in the hospice.

He is! But he is young and still learning. He has"grit", but in a way Paula isn't used too. And he isn't going away.


Posted Dec. 09, 2016 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
dianaps

Join Date: 05/29/15

Posts: 183

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RE: Julian tells Paula that he is tougher than she thinks, telling her how he cared for his mother in the hospice.

Paula and Julian have much to learn from each other. His "softness" and her "toughness". Hopefully Hana will thrive on both of them.


Posted Jan. 12, 2017 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Windsong

Join Date: 05/07/13

Posts: 70

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RE: Julian tells Paula that he is tougher than she thinks, telling her how he cared for his mother in the hospice.

I think Julien is tough or has a side of stoicism mixed with empathy. Engraved on my brain is the image of my sister in Hospice when the nurses turned her on her side to make her more comfortable Her thinness made her nightgown look like fabric draped over a hanger. All one can do at that point is take a deep breath and reach out to help the nurse. It is a mental toughness that forces words of hope and love from one's mouth.


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