What role did Kyle play and why was Michelle so resentful of her?

Kye was a longstanding friend of her mother, and her presence took some of the burden of her care off of Michelle and her father. On the other hand, there came a point when Michelle really wanted, I think, to embrace the last days/weeks of her mother's life and Kye was too much in charge.

That was an interesting dynamic - Michelle felt like an outsider when Kye was around. While Kye and her mother were longtime friends and Kye was a big help when her mother was failing, Michelle wanted that precious time for her and her mom. She wanted some of that secretive closeness her mom shared only with Kye.

Although at first she was thankful for Kye to be there she became jealous of the closeness of the two friends. She felt Kye was taking up too much of her mother’s love and attention, she was stealing time from her.

I think Michelle was very jealous of the Korean connection between Kye and her mother. She knew she was somewhat of an outsider when Kye was with her mother and she resented it. And I thought Kye was insensitive to the feelings of Michelle.

I think, in part, that Michelle was jealous of Kye and her mother's relationship. But, more importantly, I think she felt cast aside by them talking in Korean, emphasizing how much Michelle was losing and how removed she had always been from her Korean side--not learning the language, fighting against her mother's ways, rebelling. Kye took over and seemed to be pushing Michelle aside. Whether this was true or Michelle's perspective, who knows? But Kye supplanted the daughter and took over the role of caretaker that Michelle had moved to Oregon to do.

Kye was the person Michelle's mom leaned on as she was a long time friend. I'm sure Michelle felt she was being pushed out of the way but her mother probably didn't want her daughter to have to take care of her.

I found Kye very unlikeable as she seemed to be jealous of Michelle's relationship with her mother. She tried to keep them apart when they needed to spend as much time together as possible. While she was helpful, she was also unkind and mean.

Kyle provided much needed help. But Michelle felt excluded because she could not speak Korean

Kye took over caretaking in a way that excluded Michelle, who was already jealous of their bond and not being able to understand their Korean conversations. I got the sense that Michelle's mother understood how difficult Kye was, and perhaps said something to her, causing Kye to abruptly leave.

I’m SO glad that while my mother was dying, I didn’t have to navigate a dynamic like the one between Michelle, Michelle’s mother and Kye.
It’s not ever easy to balance a dying person’s emotional needs for family love (from Michelle) with their physical needs for medical best practices (from Kye).
This conflict was one of the many details that made this memoir so relatable!

At first Kye was a lifesaver, caring for her mother and cooking dishes that she could eat. However, I think she ended up staying too long and it felt like she was taking precious time away from Michelle.

Michelle’s mom and Kye we're very close. At first Michelle was thankful for Kye’s help but as time went on, resentment built up. Michelle wanted and needed to spend alone time with her mother.
In the end Kye was the caregiver and Michelle, the daughter. Difficult roles for both.

The quote that came to mind that spoke to me of Michelle's resentment of Kye was, "For a long time I had tried to belong in America, wanted and wished for it more than anything, but in that moment, all I wanted was to be accepted as a Korean by two people who refused to claim me. You are not one of use, Kye seemed to say. And you will never really understand what it is she [her mother] needs, no matter how perfect you try to be." (p107)

While I found that part of the novel incredibly honest and "real," I found myself wondering what Kye's side of the story would have been. I am not suggesting that Michelle was dishonest in telling this part of the story. Instead, I imagine that Kye's lens would have looked a bit different. Does she think she overstayed? Would she have done things differently?

This may be my most vivid memory of this book. The relationship between Michelle and Kye and her mother, under one roof in the most stressful of circumstances, was truly a powder keg. The resentment, jealousy, and need for control could not result in anything other than one leaving. I believe, as others mentioned, that her mother chose to send Kye home.

In the early days of her mother’s cancer treatment, Michelle was convinced that with a healthy diet of the Korean food Chongmi loved, she would grow stronger, be able to minimize the effects of the poisonous chemo, and if not achieve total cure, at least be able to enjoy her final months and years traveling and being with the people she loved. Her desire to provide this healing was further incentivized by her guilt at having been a selfish and self-loving daughter during her teen years and beyond. But her drive to please and heal her mother—to prove the depth of her love, is frustrated by her limited experience in preparing the dishes her mother longs for. The installation of Kye, Chongmi’s longtime Korean friend, in the Zauner household seems the perfect solution…at first.
But instead of helping Michelle fulfill her desire, Kye quickly becomes the obstacle in her path. Envisioning Kye as a mentor who would teach her how to cook the food her mother loves, Michelle asks Kye to let her help with the food preparation so she could learn. But Kye rebuffs the offer countering with her own suggestion that Michelle should cook for herself and her father and leave Kye free to focus solely on her mother. Nor was the intruder happy with driving a wedge between mother and daughter; she also made Michelle feel like an outsider, an American/Korean hybrid who did not fit in. This comes to a head in the incident of the undercooked egg. After Michelle explains her concern about feeding this questionable dish to her immune compromised mother, Kye settles the issue with a firm, “This is how we eat this one in Korea.” End of argument. But Kye’s insistence that she knew better also implied, ‘You wouldn’t understand. You’re not Korean.” And Michelle recognizes a new twist to her desire to heal and show love to her mom. For the first time in her life, the desire to be seen and accepted as Korean trumps the desire to be seen and accepted as American.
Kye saw her role as manger of her friend’s health and happiness, but that put her in conflict with Michelle whose strength triumphed over the would-be usurper, and Kye packs her bags to return to her unhappy home life. It is also important that instead of gloating over her victory, Zauner tries to understand her mother’s love for Kye and includes the story she shares of her friend’s unhappy and loveless life. It is telling of the author’s growing sensitivity and maturity that she recounts this background which softens the image of Kye as a cruel tyrant.

I think that Michelle welcomed the help that Kyle gave. But when Kyle was around,Michelle wanted to be the person who took care of her mother.