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Crying in H Mart


Lyrical and honest, Zauner's voice is as radiantly alive on the page as it is ...
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How did you respond to Michelle's detailed and graphic descriptions of her mother's illness & death?

Created: 03/03/22

Replies: 22

Posted Mar. 03, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
JMW

Join Date: 01/03/22

Posts: 13

How did you respond to Michelle's detailed and graphic descriptions of her mother's illness & death?

Do you think she went overboard in what she shared?


Posted Mar. 03, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
beckyh

Join Date: 05/08/11

Posts: 113

RE: How did you respond to Michelle'...

My mother died in the last year and my husband has a terminal illness, so I skipped over most of the passages that dwelt on graphic descriptions. Just too difficult to read. Lots of empathy and sympathy though.


Posted Mar. 03, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
dorinned

Join Date: 10/13/14

Posts: 176

RE: How did you respond to Michelle'...

I found Michelle's grief sympathetic. I am not as emotional a person as Michelle, I don't think, and cannot imagine reacting in the ways that she did.


Posted Mar. 04, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Panzy

Join Date: 01/18/22

Posts: 19

RE: How did you respond to Michelle'...

Michelle's grief seemed true, deep and a bit tortured, as it was intertwined with her feelings of guilt. I don't feel she went overboard, rather she wrote what she felt. Very moving.


Posted Mar. 04, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
ScribblingScribe

Join Date: 02/29/16

Posts: 189

RE: How did you respond to Michelle'...

Her words felt honest and a true representation of what she felt. I thought she described her feelings quite well.


Posted Mar. 05, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
ssh

Join Date: 02/04/14

Posts: 99

RE: How did you respond to Michelle'...

It was very difficult for me to read, having lost too many people so close to me.


Posted Mar. 05, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
arlenei

Join Date: 08/12/21

Posts: 100

RE: How did you respond to Michelle'...

At times I found it very difficult to read. During the pandemic, lost loved ones made the passages difficult. I put the book down more than once, but I managed to get through those parts.


Posted Mar. 05, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
crk

Join Date: 03/02/22

Posts: 23

RE: How did you respond to Michelle'...

This is Michelle's story to tell. What I remember as I think back on passages describing her mother's illness and death is the emotion not the graphics. In general I would say nothing descriptive struck me as beyond what is usually represented in movies witnessing a cancer patient's struggles. I can imagine for readers who have gone through it personally, other parts of the book were most welcome.


Posted Mar. 05, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
NCjeanne

Join Date: 04/26/20

Posts: 18

RE: How did you respond to Michelle'...

I found it to be accurately detailed and refreshingly candid, especially since I am also an only daughter. I do have younger brothers, but I think daughters are more deeply involved — in both caregiving and in their grief.
If I had been able to read this book before my parents died (both of cancer), I would have been better informed and therefore possibly better prepared as to what to expect during their illness and after their deaths.


Posted Mar. 06, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
ColoradoGirl

Join Date: 05/16/16

Posts: 149

RE: How did you respond to Michelle'...

I thought these were authentic passages and I appreciated that she didn't gloss over things. That doesn't mean they weren't hard to read.


Posted Mar. 06, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
scgirl

Join Date: 06/05/18

Posts: 245

RE: How did you respond to Michelle'...

I feel like she was honest with what she saw and felt. I would not have wanted her to gloss over the story. She brought the reader into the room with her.


Posted Mar. 07, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
cathyoc

Join Date: 04/26/17

Posts: 247

RE: How did you respond to Michelle'...

Death is not a clean process. As a caregiver I could relate to the messiness and the grief that comes from caring for the person that cared for you.


Posted Mar. 07, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Lisa Ahima

Join Date: 03/07/22

Posts: 2

RE: How did you respond to Michelle'...

It was incredibly difficult to read. I have not lost someone close to me by means of a terminal illness, but I was definitely crying with these passages. I took many breaks while reading this book.


Posted Mar. 10, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
josellek

Join Date: 04/28/11

Posts: 16

RE: How did you respond to Michelle'...

I agree with others that it was difficult to read those parts but I felt Michelle honestly and truly portrayed her experiences. It must have been a kind of therapy for her to write it.


Posted Mar. 12, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
AmberH

Join Date: 05/09/18

Posts: 85

RE: How did you respond to Michelle'...

I thought her description was very real, which made me appreciate this book so much. Often times, I think we avoid talking about death and the dying process, but it is reality for many. If we talk more about it, perhaps it helps others feel less alone.


Posted Mar. 12, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
marks

Join Date: 02/25/19

Posts: 112

RE: How did you respond to Michelle'...

Although some of the passages were incredibly real and "graphic," I almost felt compelled to not skip over the parts. I imagine that writing this was cathartic in terms of processing everything that happened, and I had this nagging feeling that I would be missing something if I skimmed or skipped those parts. Now that I think about it, I think those particularly difficult sections are what evoked such an emotional reaction in me; it definitely left me with a lump in my throat on more than a few occasions.


Posted Mar. 17, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
mali

Join Date: 05/01/20

Posts: 24

RE: How did you respond to Michelle'...

I did not find it excessive, but rather an honest portrayal of the process of death.


Posted Mar. 18, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
kathleenq

Join Date: 05/27/19

Posts: 23

RE: How did you respond to Michelle'...

I found her descriptions to be very raw and emotional. She wrote from a place of grief and I feel writing them out like that can be very cathartic for an individual as it can validate one's emotional state.


Posted Mar. 19, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
julib

Join Date: 10/07/20

Posts: 49

RE: How did you respond to Michelle'...

As a nurse, I found the author's descriptions of illness accurate and honest. Any symptoms described came from a daughter's perspective of astonishment that these unknown experiences could indeed pierce her mother's always capable persona. I also feel that reading another person's experiences validates your own fears about whether or not you would be capable of handling such challenges. The author discovered she could rise to the challenge as many family members of chronic illness do out of love for the person suffering... the actual details fade in comparison to the love felt for another enduring such medical decline.


Posted Mar. 19, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
skagitgrits's Gravatar
skagitgrits

Join Date: 02/24/17

Posts: 64

RE: How did you respond to Michelle'...

with empathy and understanding. Having lost both of my parents it is a difficult passage for most of us. Michelle is clearly still grieving the loss of her mother.


Posted Mar. 21, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
irisf

Join Date: 01/16/12

Posts: 136

RE: How did you respond to Michelle'...

It brought back horrific memories of my parents last days. I won’t get into details but her mother’s last days were far easier than what they went through. I found myself reading words that didn’t penetrate as these awful memories took over me brain. Writing this book might have been cathartic for the author but it brought back things that I bdralr with many years ago and had hoped never to go back again


Posted Mar. 22, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
elise

Join Date: 04/22/11

Posts: 101

RE: How did you respond to Michelle'...

I can't imagine losing my mother when I was so young. It is a part of life that we, as a society, don't want to acknowledge. It's a shame that we are that way because it makes it that much more difficult to handle when nobody wants to be around sickness or talk about it.


Posted Mar. 27, 2022 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
tswaine

Join Date: 09/14/11

Posts: 94

RE: How did you respond to Michelle'...

I think that she felt good talking about her mom and her illness. I was with my mom during her last days and I share what we both went through to others who ask. Michelle was being honest in describing what they both went through.


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