What do you think of the depiction of guilt and grief in this story?

Crying in H Mart deals with caregiving for someone with a terminal illness and its aftermath. What do you think of the depiction of guilt and grief in this story?

Michelle was spot-on in how she explained and illustrated both her guilt and grief. Women are much more closely aligned with these two emotions, especially as daughters.

I think the depiction was very true to life although each person experiences grief differently

Guilt and grief are very common in a situation like this. I think Michelle did an excellent job of describing her feelings of both.

She was so honest in her descriptions and expressions of both guilt and grief. I could relate to her breaking down in the aisles of a market or other random places.

Her description was spot on. Grief and guilt are often felt together. One who loses another person looks back at all the good and bad that transpired between them. Michelle lost her mother when she was only 25. The memory of the ways she behaved in that relationship were pretty fresh.

One example of Chongmi’s use of guilt really stuck with me. She told Michelle that because Michelle was an awful child that she had an abortion rather than risk having another rebellious child. Later in the book, Korean relatives told Michelle that her mother was afraid that having two children would make it too difficult to visit Korea. I thought Chongmi’s parenting methods were often cruel and am surprised that Michelle was able to get past the hurt to be there for her mom.

As Michelle grew into her teen years, Chongmi's intense parenting began to feel overpowering, and Michelle reacted by rebelling and fighting for her independence. This is not an uncommon thing for mothers and daughters, and perhaps even more so for immigrant families who are seen as "other" by the people around them and who may feel a need to stick together to maintain their identity. I think that as Michelle matured, she and her mother would have come back together again in a more adult relationship, but unfortunately, Chongmi fell ill before that could happen naturally. It felt to me that this enhanced the feelings of guilt and grief that Michelle felt because her mother's illness came too early and suddenly in her life before she had been able to reconcile her conflicted feelings about her mother. Her depiction of the depth of her guilt and grief was heart wrenching and moving.

Michelle blamed herself for her mother’s sickness and death. Kept thinking she could cure her Mom by the strength of her will

I thought it was spot-on and very authentic. Everyone experiences grief differently and her closeness with her mother likely made it a deeper impact. Guilt is always interesting, survival guilt for the ones left behind. I hope that writing this memoir helped her process her guilt and grief.

The author did a great job depicting the grief between a mother and a daughter. Although I have experienced those roles I have not experienced the cruelty that Michelle’s mom bestowed on her daughter. Kudos to Michelle for rising above it all.

I felt her grief and sense of guilt strongly; she had not been an easy child. The clash of cultures is very strong in this story and even as they grow stronger, the author uses her Mom's own weapons- Korean food- to try to reconnect and make amends.

Many times grief is accompanied by guilt. I feel that when one grieves, more often than not there's guilt over unresolved issues and not "doing enough". Her depiction is what is felt by many.