At one point, Lakshmi says that the one thing she hates most is sympathy. Why do you think that is? Is Lakshmi being too proud in this case?

At one point, Lakshmi says that the one thing she hates most is sympathy. Why do you think that is? Is Lakshmi being too proud in this case?

Some people see sympathy as handicapping them, that it’s a reason to not rise to the occasion and be better than where they are in life and I think Lakshmi fells this way about being pitied. I don’t think she’s being too proud. I think Lakshmi doesn’t want sympathy to become a crutch that she relies on so she deflects it with anger.

You make a great point, melanieb; depending on how it's presented, sympathy can certainly seem condescending or worse, patronizing. I think you're right that Lakshmi didn't want to feel dependent on sympathy from others, like a crutch. Great insight there.

I am not sure how common it is for a young woman in rural India to leave a marriage like Lakshmi did. She made her way to the city and used the skills she learned from her mother-in-law and honed her own talents to make good connections and create a thriving business. Lakshmi took charge of her life. She made her decisions. Perhaps, offering her sympathy would imply that she is a victim of her circumstances. I don't think she sees herself that way at all. Lakshmi used the circumstances of her early life to build herself up. She takes what she does very seriously. To feel sympathy for her may seem to her as if others viewed her business as a fanciful pastime.

I understood that because I too hate sympathy. Sympathy always makes me feel sorry for myself and that is not useful to move ahead and do what you need to do. Perhaps Lakshmi felt that sympathy lessened her ability to be strong and go forward with her plans. I did not see this as being prideful.

Maybe sympathy felt like pity to her and she didn't want pity. She had made choices, she had done very well with the hand she chose. I think she was remaining true to herself and not being too proud.

I can understand why she did not want sympathy from others but was not opposed to others showing her empathy. She wanted to be seen as a human being entitled to pursue her life as was best for her.

I dont think many of us like sympathy...there is a difference in compassion and sympathy.. feeling bad for someones situation and wanting to help them is one thing, but feeling sorry for them and not thinking they are strong enough to get themselves out of a situation is another. I think one implies that you are on common ground while the other implies that you feel you are better than the person.