Ruth believes Mama loves her, but "as much as folks refused to admit it, mothers loved their children differently." Do you agree that's true here? Is it universally true?

Ruth believes Mama loves her, but "as much as folks refused to admit it, mothers loved their children differently." Do you agree that's true here? Is it universally true?

I'm not a parent, but I do think this is true. I feel my mom responded differently to me and my sister. And, although they're not human children, I do feel differently about each of my two cats. I love them, but love them in different ways and love different things about them.

I think it’s true universally. Parents are human and no more or less affected by the same feelings any individual would be affected by. All humans love differently.

I think that a mother’s love is so complex that it must be true. Mothers do the best they can but that doesn’t always mean that their best is enough, or fully right. But I believe in human good to the extent that all mothers do their best even if their best is simply not being in their child’s life or telling lies to protect them. This may be how they show love and it may be very different from what someone else might do. Doesn’t make their “best” right.

As a parent of two sons myself, I recognize that I have loved my sons differently at different times--depending on their needs at the time. In the end, I love them equally, but sometimes one needs me more than the other one; then times change.

I am not a parent but feel parents love their children equally but show that love differently towards each child in response to their needs and personality. As Ruth grew to understand her mother's love she saw she always loved her and wanted the best for Ruth.

I’m not a parent but I’m listed as a guardian of my niece and nephew. I have helped raise them and I know I love them equally but they are 2 different people, so my love is given freely but in different ways according to their needs and personalities. That being said, as a kid I always thought my parents loved my brother more, I just understand I was a much stronger person than my brother and so my mother gave more attention to him because she knew I was ok. It’s complicated and individual how those parent and child relationships work but for most, I would say the love is equal, it’s the connections that differ.

I think that the different ways a parent loves his/her individual children can cause just as much uncertainty in them as not telling the truth about a situation that affects them personally.- -I think there was another question about things parents may hide (???). Like jos, I always thought that my parents loved my brother more. As a nine year old (10, 11, 12, 13....) I didn't understand that my parents perceived me as more responsible, better able to handle stress, stronger in the face of adversity. All i perceived was that there was something wrong with me- - there must have been or they would have given me the same attention, made the same excuses, and not held me to as high of standards as they did. I felt a lot of pressure as a child to be perfect as a result. This has affected me as an adult. And even had they told me the reason I was receiving less attention, thinking, I'm sure, that I would see it as a good thing- -I wouldn't have truly understood at the time. Even as an adult, I still don't think it was fair. :)

So, I believe that parents love their children differently. What I am not sure of is whether or not their children will truly understand that different is not unequal until they can look back on it as adults, or as parents themselves. I'm pretty sure I overcompensated for how I felt as a child as I raised my son. I never wanted him to feel unloved or unimportant. Considering that he is an only child, that may have created its own set of problems! haha

Whilst parents may not intend to treat sons and daughters differently, research shows that they do. Sons appear to get preferential treatment in that they receive more helpful praise, more time is invested in them, and their abilities are often thought of in higher regard.

I absolutely believe this! Being a mother of two, I understand, that I love my children both equally, but in different ways because of their personalities and their needs. One of my kids is more independent and I love her so much because of this, but don’t feel the affectionate love that I feel for my son who is more sensitive and needing of our closeness. I’m sure that this is perceived as preferential treatment by some, but I feel it is only the way that we demonstrate our love according to each child’s needs .

Yes. Mama gave much more to Ruth - sacrificed more for Ruth than for Eli or for her own daughter Joanna. I am not sure you love one child more than the other. I believe that love for each child is unique - not more or less. You play off the strengths of each child and give accordingly. It may look like favoritism, but I believe it is just the need of each individual child that is put into play.

As a parent of three, I can say I love my children equally. However, they are three different people with different needs. I think one loves a child where they are in life and with what they need at that time. I do think that Mama gave more to Ruth.