Ruth thinks, "A lie could be kind to you if you wanted it to be, if you let it." What do you think she means? Do you agree?

Ruth thinks, "A lie could be kind to you if you wanted it to be, if you let it." What do you think she means? Do you agree?

I think that Ruth is trying to justify the secret that she kept from her husband, as well as from having the courage to discuss this with her husband as well. I think that when deep secrets fester, it can almost seem like a betrayal. As difficult as the truth is, it is usually the best way to handle things. It no longer is kind as a lie turns into a dark secret that can cause consequences.

A lie can be kind but it’s still a lie and someone someday will discover the lie and be hurt or disillusioned by it.

A lie can be kind because it does provide a method to hide the truth until one is ready emotionally to accept for themselves and then have the courage to explain it others who need to know but remember this more complex Ruth keeps the basic lie a secret till she accepts it but she was never told the truth.

I think Ruth was trying to justify her decision to keep her past a secret. That quotation comes fairly early in the novel

I felt The kindest lie was a metaphor for the things we tell ourselves until we can or are emotionally ready to deal with them. The truths her brother and grandmother kept from her weren't really lies, she knew the baby was adopted out, she just didn’t want to know so she never asked by whom or where the baby was.

Ruth is trying to justify keeping her secret from her husband. The secret simply grows into something larger and looms over the relationship even though Ruth feels keeping it is best.

There is a difference in types of lies. A lie can be kind when you know the truth can be emotionally hurtful, but not consequential. Example - Those shoes are so cute! when they aren't. But when you know that a lie will have consequences, like Ruth not revealing her son to Xavier, then the lie won't be "kind." Though it wasn't discussed in the book, I wish more storyline had been developed to reveal why Ruth thought telling Xavier about Corey would be bad for their relationship. That wasn't really brought out in the book.

We all see things differently. If something is a lie - over time it will change shape and change particulars. You can remember it as you want to remember it. It is fluid. It is all in how you remember things.

Sometimes one tells a "white lie" to be kind. When a lie is hiding the truth, it usually comes back to haunt one. Ruth feared the consequences of the lie— perhaps she would lose Xavier? She was trying to excuse her secrecy and protect herself.