with a reputation for penetrating to the heart of complex parenting issues joins
forces with a physician and bestselling author to tackle one of the most
disturbing and misunderstood trends of our time -- peers replacing parents in
the lives of our children.
Dr. Neufeld has dubbed this phenomenon peer orientation, which refers to the tendency of children and youth to look to their peers for direction: for a sense of right and wrong, for values, identity and codes of behaviour. But peer orientation undermines family cohesion, poisons the school atmosphere, and fosters an aggressively hostile and sexualized youth culture. It provides a powerful explanation for schoolyard bullying and youth violence; its effects are painfully evident in the context of teenage gangs and criminal activity, in tragedies such as in Littleton, Colorado; Tabor, Alberta and Victoria, B.C. It is an escalating trend that has never been adequately described or contested until Hold On to Your Kids. Once understood, it becomes self-evident -- as do the solutions.
Hold On to Your Kids will restore parenting to its natural intuitive basis and the parent-child relationship to its rightful preeminence. The concepts, principles and practical advice contained in Hold On to Your Kids will empower parents to satisfy their childrens inborn need to find direction by turning towards a source of authority, contact and warmth.
Part One: The Phenomenon of Peer Orientation
Chapter One: In Our Own Backyard
Something has changed. We can sense it, can feel it, just not find the words
for it. Children are not quite the same as we remember being. They seem less
likely to take their cues from adults, less inclined to please those in charge,
less afraid of getting into trouble. Parenting, too, seems to have changed. Our
parents were more confident, more certain of themselves and had more impact on
us, for better -- or, sometimes, for worse. For many today, parenting does not
feel natural. Through the ages adults have complained about children being less
respectful of their elders and more difficult to manage than preceding
generations, but could it be that this time it is for real?
Today's parents love their children as much as parents ever have, but the love doesn't always get through. We have just as much to teach them as parents ever did, but they seem less interested in following ...
As children grow it is inevitable, and a good thing, that they start to gravitate away from their parents to establish identities for themselves. However, Gordon Neufeld makes a very strong case that the modern-day trend for children to become peer-orientated at increasingly early ages does not give a child the opportunity to establish the healthy identity that most parents hope for their children. Instead, ironically, it does the opposite, causing them to suppress their individuality, curiosity and intelligence in order to fit the group norm.
(Reviewed by BookBrowse Review Team).
Full Review (182 words).
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