Summary and book reviews of The Nine Fantasies That Will Ruin Your Life by Dr Joy Browne

The Nine Fantasies That Will Ruin Your Life

and The Eight Realities That Will Save You

By Dr Joy Browne

The Nine Fantasies That Will Ruin Your Life
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  • Hardcover: Oct 1998,
    256 pages.
    Paperback: Sep 1999,
    255 pages.

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About this Book

Book Summary

Every day on her nationally syndicated radio program Dr. Joy Browne gets calls from people looking for sympathy.

They don't get it.

Many of Dr. Joy's nine million listeners--like so many of us--seek the kind of help that only makes us feel good about feeling bad. Dr. Joy believes that we can do better. She knows we can feel good for the best reason of all: because we have gathered the courage and the smarts to say good-bye to the fantasies that perpetuate our problems and shake hands with the realities that give us control of our lives.

Dr. Joy has spent nearly twenty years listening to and advising thousands of women and men about their frustrations and disappointments. She has diagnosed the ways we get in trouble and stay there. In turn, she has a proven prescription for freedom from our self-defeating patterns of thought and behavior that allows for real progress toward our goals. She calls her plan for emotional health The Nine Fantasies That Will Ruin Your Life and the Eight Realities That Will Save You.

What are they?
Among the Fantasies, Dr. Joy includes such harmful but highly touted ideas as:

  • Somewhere I Have a Soulmate
  • Winning the Lottery Will Set Me Free
  • Confession Is Good for the Soul

The Realities are less warm-and-fuzzy but a lot more in tune with the world we live in:

  • Attitude Is Everything
  • Go for Short-Term Pain, Long-Term Gain
  • People Do Things for Reasons

In The Nine Fantasies That Will Ruin Your Life and the Eight Realities That Will Save You, Dr. Joy Browne shows you how to apply these simple, powerful ideas to your marriage, personal relationships, career, finances, health, and every other area of your life.

No matter how difficult or long-standing your problems, Dr. Joy will show you how to become a fearless, focused, and, most important, happy adventurer in your own life. That may sound like a fantasy, but you can make it your new reality.

Dr. Joy on Fantasies
"Look, I know you think fantasies are fun, sexy, and cool, whether your dream is of Cinderella or Prince Charming, or that your love will be passionate, available, rich, gorgeous, and lovable. Everybody indulges in fantasies from time to time, but as a lifestyle choice, we're talking dis-as-ter! Even if these seemingly harmless little devils don't ruin your life, they can cause a lot of avoidable misery. . . . Fantasies are a distraction from the business of running our lives successfully and realistically. I plan to wrestle these pesky critters to the ground so we can all get on with the pleasure of focused thoughts and energy."

Dr. Joy on Realities
"We've become so used to the idea that the real world is dangerous that reality has gotten a really bad reputation. I'm going to show you that reality is a lot less scary than you've been led to believe, and that it is actually potentially helpful, healthy, life-affirming, and the most useful game in town."

Excerpt
The Nine Fantasies That Will Ruin Your Life
and The Eight Realities That Will Save You

Look, I know you think fantasies are fun, sexy, and cool, whether you dream of being Cinderella or Prince Charming, or that your love will be passionate, available, rich, gorgeous, and lovable. Even if you think of yourself as too old or too sophisticated to believe in fairy tales, I'll bet you occasionally indulge in the giddy notion of someday playing for the L.A. Lakers or winning the gold in wrestling by overpowering that third-grade bully who still haunts your nightmares. Maybe in this alternate reality, you're accepting an Oscar or being crowned Miss America or doing something you won't admit to in public. Everybody indulges in fantasies from time to time, but as a lifestyle choice, we're talking di-sas-ter! Even if these seemingly harmless little devils don't ruin your life, they can cause a lot of ...

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Reviews

Media Reviews
Publishers Weekly

Many readers will be happy to find out why and how "charity always feels terrific for the giver and uncomfortable and controlling for the receiver," why casting oneself as a victim won't make things better or how the idea of "falling in love... has been used to cover up the very real fears about intimacy, dependence and rejection that are inherent in learning to love someone."

Reader Reviews
Mandy Hall

A worthless book.
Another worthless self-help trash.

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