Please be aware that this discussion guide may contain spoilers!
Do you feel that Boylan had a choice in becoming a woman to the world?
What responsibility does Jenny have for Grace and their children? What
responsibility do they have to her?
Have you ever known someone who made a gender transition? How did the
change affect people who knew the person before?
How central a role do you believe gender plays in our identity? How much
different and in what ways do you believe you'd be if you were a member of
the opposite sex? Do you think that some traits are inherent in one gender?
Discuss Boylans experiences buying a car and buying a pair of jeans.
Have you witnessed or experienced similar situations? Do you notice the
differences in expectations and attitudes in the ways people of other sexes
What role does humor play in Boylans life and in this book?
The title of the book, Shes Not There, is the title of a song
that Boylan sings. What do you think the title means in this case? Who is
not there, and when?
What is revealed about Boylan in her friendship with Richard Russo?
As a teenager, Boylan believes that love will cure him from his feelings.
In what ways is Boylan saved by love? In what ways do people usually expect
to be saved by love? How often is it successful?
Discuss the concept of normal as it relates to Boylans narrative,
and to your expectations.
On her web site, Boylan remarks, As I look back at the story of my own
life, I occasionally feel that being born transgendered was the best thing
that could have happened to me. While dealing with this condition made life
difficult for me, as well as for my family, it's also true that I have been
given a rare gift in life, the gift of being able to see into the worlds of
both men and women with clear eyes. Do you feel that you know more about
these worlds as a result of reading Boylans book?
Boylan says that her first awareness of being transgendered occurred when
she was about three. What do you remember about your earliest sense of your
identity? How often do you feel that what the world sees in you is at odds
with what you know to be true?
After reading the book, did you identify with Boylan more or less than you
Jan Morris, Conundrum
Chloe Rounsley and Mildred Brown, True Selves
Natalie Angier, Woman: An Intimate Geography
Cynthia Eller, Am I a Woman? A Skeptic's Guide to Gender
Kate Bornstein, Gender Outlaw
Deirdre McCloskey, Crossings: A Memoir
Richard Russo, Empire Falls
Nicole Howey, Dress Codes: Of Three Girlhoods - My Mother's, My Father's,
Unless otherwise stated, this discussion guide is reprinted with the permission of Broadway Books.
Any page references refer to a USA edition of the book, usually the trade paperback version, and may vary in other editions.
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