BookBrowse Review

A hilarious and revelatory novel about family dysfunction

In Tropper's latest opus the fictional Foxman family pushes the limits of their - or anyone's - idea of dysfunction, proof positive that authors who are going to portray a dysfunctional family shouldn't skimp on the drama. Because by going all out, Tropper is giving readers a rockin' good read - with benefits.

Be warned: you will laugh. You may not always be proud of why you're laughing, but unless you're a paragon of virtue who can resist all urges to indulge in a little schadenfreude, you will laugh. After all, it's not everyday that a man walks into his own bedroom to find his wife in bed with his boss. Nor is it common for family members to emerge from a religious rite - particularly a funereal rite - with cuts, bruises and a dislocated shoulder. Laughter aside, however, there is plenty to ponder as protagonist Judd Foxman returns to his childhood home to mourn the death of the family patriarch.

Subsequent to learning that his father has died, Judd finds out that non-practicing Jew and sporting goods storeowner Morton Foxman's last request was for his family to sit shiva, a formal mourning period that requires the family to remain together in the family home for seven days. This would not be a problem for most people. But for Judd, his brothers Paul and Phillip and their sister Wendy - whose personal and familial issues would put Dostoevsky's most complicated characters to shame - it is tantamount to impossible.

Even before three generations gather under the Foxman roof – the observance includes spouses and their children – the fun begins. Prodigal son Phillip, "the Paul McCartney of our family: better looking than the rest of us, always facing a different direction in pictures, and occasionally rumored to be dead," shows up at the funeral and throws himself on the coffin in a fit of spectacularly theatrical grief. This after he apologizes for being late to Rabbi Grodner, inadvertently calling the boyhood friend by his junior high school nickname, "Boner."

Not surprisingly, the Foxman family shiva spirals downhill from there. Partially because, according to Judd, Mort was so emotionally aloof and his wife so inappropriately blunt in her speech that their children lacked even the sketchiest model for polite, socially acceptable dialogue. However, it is from these domestic disasters that the aforementioned benefits spring like flowers from a dung heap. Myriad tragicomic plot twists and personal confessions lobbed grenade-like into the family's core ignite familial interaction and sprout insights into the human condition. Such as this gem: "At some point you lose sight of your actual parents; you just see a basketful of history and unresolved issues." Yes, beneath and around Tropper's wicked sense of humor there is a universal substructure of wisdom that is applicable to all families and blood relationships. Read it and weep… and laugh.

Reviewed by Donna Chavez

This review was originally published in October 2009, and has been updated for the July 2010 paperback release. Click here to go to this issue.

Beyond the Book

Sitting Shiva

The word "shiva" (pronounced SHIHvah) is derived from the Hebrew word sheva which means "seven." Sitting shiva means that the family of a loved one – usually reserved for the family of a deceased spouse, parent or child – gathers in that loved one's home for seven days. Friends and family visit to support the family as they take time to mourn, and to remember the life of the deceased. While they may not observe the more orthodox practices outlined below, many Jewish families retain the spirit of the tradition in the form of an extended wake, in which friends and family stop by to share memories and grieve together.

Members of the immediate family sit on chairs that are low to the ground – historically they used to sit on the ground – and wait as friends, family and acquaintances visit to pay their respects. A memorial candle is kept lit for the duration as a symbol of the deceased's eternal soul. Mirrors are covered to remove emphasis from the physical self and turn the focus to the soul, prayer, and God. Mourners also observe a number of other traditions as a symbol of their renunciation of vanity and physical comfort during the mourning period, such as refraining from wearing shoes, makeup, new clothes, getting a haircut, washing clothes, and sexual intimacy.

After the burial and before entering the shiva house, anyone who attended the burial pours water over their hands, usually from a pitcher and bowl by the door, as a symbol of life. For the first meal after returning from the cemetery the mourners may consume foods that are round, such as hard-boiled eggs, lentils, and round vegetables. Symbolically these represent the cycle of life. Those who are visiting the mourning family bring food, as mourners are expected to refrain from cooking and other mundane tasks. There are protocols recommended for those who wish to visit the mourning family, called making a shiva call, about when to arrive, how to dress and comport oneself at the shiva home. Learn more about making a shiva call.

Many modern Jewish families do not practice sitting shiva in the strictest sense. Which was why Mort Foxman's last request was such a shock to his 21st Century family of mostly non-practicing Jews. Reform and other Jews often shorten it from seven days to three, or even one. Orthodox authorities, however, naturally frown on such shortcuts and feel it dishonors the deceased as well as shortchanging grieving family for whom seven days of healing from the loss is considered beneficial. There may be something to that since for Tropper's Foxman family, at least, the experience proved a life-changing watershed event.