I surmised all of this the night it happened, but in the weeks and months
that followed I asked most of the men I knew whether I was right, and they
agreed, adding usually that it wasn't something they thought about anymore, if
they ever had. It was just something you learned or absorbed as a boy, and by
the time you were a man, you did it without thinking.
After the whole incident had blown over, I started thinking that if in such
a short time in drag I had learned such an important secret about the way
males and females communicate with each other, and about the unspoken codes of
male experience, then couldn't I potentially observe much more about the
social differences between the sexes if I passed as a man for a much longer
period of time? It seemed true, but I wasn't intrepid enough yet to do
something that extreme. Besides it seemed impossible, both psychologically and
practically, to pull it off. So I filed the information away in my mind for a
few more years and got on with other things.
Then, in the winter of 2003, while watching a reality television show on
the A& E network, the idea came back to me. In the show, two male and two
female contestants set out to transform themselves into the opposite sex - not
with hormones or surgeries, but purely by costume and design. The women cut
their hair. The men had theirs extended. Both took voice and movement lessons
to try to learn how to speak and behave more like the sex they were trying to
become. All chose new wardrobes, personas and names for their alter egos. The
bulk of the program focused on the outward transformations, though the point
at the end was to see who could pass in the real world most effectively.
Neither of the men really passed, and only one of the women stayed the course.
She did manage to pass fairly well, though only for a short time and in
carefully controlled circumstances.
But, as in most reality television programs, especially the American ones,
nobody involved was particularly introspective about the effect their
experiences had had on them or the people around them. It was clear that the
producers didn't have much interest in the deeper sociologic implications of
passing as the opposite sex. It was all just another version of an extreme
make-over. Once the stunt was accomplished - or not - the show was over.
But for me, watching the show brought my former experience in drag to the
forefront of my mind again and made me realize that passing in costume in the
daylight could be possible with the right help. I knew that writing a book
about passing in the world as a man would give me the chance to explore some
of the unexplored territory that the show had left out, and that I had barely
broached in my brief foray in drag years before.
Stranger than fiction, blending tragedy and farce, How to Create the Perfect Wife is an engrossing tale of the radicalism, and deep contradictions, at the heart of the Enlightenment.
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