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Why do women seem to struggle more than men after divorce?

Created: 08/18/11

Replies: 14

Posted Aug. 18, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
sarahd

Join Date: 10/16/10

Posts: 84

Expert

Why do women seem to struggle more than men after divorce?

In Sense and Sensibility, Mrs. Dashwood does her best to help her family thrive despite dwindling fortunes. What challenges do women still face in such situations, even with the cultural changes that have taken place since Jane Austen was writing?


Sarah D
Posted Aug. 19, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
marshas

Join Date: 07/09/11

Posts: 7

RE: Why do women seem to struggle more than men after divorce?

Most women are in the position of being paid less than men in many jobs and generally earn less. They also sometimes are forced to put career aspirations and grown on hold to have children and raise their families. I believe that many men are more ready to move on to find a new mate after a divorce, because they are looking for someone to care for them and the household. Women, on the other hand, may be more reluctant to move on to a new relationship and risk being burned again, because they generally are more comfortable and capable of taking care of themselves after having taken care of a home and family.


Posted Aug. 19, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
dave s

Join Date: 05/19/11

Posts: 20

RE: Why do women seem to struggle more than men after divorce?

Marsha makes some good points. I would add that men have more choices than women later in life for a new relationship; unfortunately, the number of decent and available men for older women is limited. Also, and let's admit it guys, overall men are less mature than women. Combine that immaturity with our "mid-life crisis" and you have an unfortunate result in way too many relationships


Posted Aug. 20, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
susanr

Join Date: 04/14/11

Posts: 83

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RE: Why do women seem to struggle more than men after divorce?

I agree with marsha that men seem to rush into new relationships because they need someone to take care of them. Women are more reluctant to put themselves in siturations where they might get hurt again.


Posted Aug. 23, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
lynneb

Join Date: 08/23/11

Posts: 47

RE: Why do women seem to struggle more than men after divorce?

I haven't always seen women struggle more than men after divorce. Just as mentioned by other participants, men often seem to need to rush into a new relationship to be "taken care of". However, if the woman has been cast aside for a replacement prior to the divorce it is sometimes a matter of pride and embarrassment that needs to be overcome for her to join her social groups again after the divorce. Most women today are well prepared with careers and their own financial security to manage just fine on their own and yes as someone else mentions, the men are less mature and so need the care that many sensible women do not. Older women can do just fine without a companion or I find often just have a companion for social affairs and travel and often choose not to remarry. Younger women I think have a more difficult time with the stigma of not being attractive enough to men unless they have one to drag around for appearances.


Posted Aug. 23, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
bettyt

Join Date: 05/12/11

Posts: 121

Expert

RE: Why do women seem to struggle more than men after divorce?

I don't think women struggle as much today as they used to. In the past, women were not as prepared financially to be on their own. They did not have the skills to be employable. Also they were sometimes social "pariahs". But I do not see that being true today unless it is a woman with several children still in her care.


Posted Aug. 25, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
Jan Mays

Join Date: 07/16/11

Posts: 8

RE: Why do women seem to struggle more than men after divorce?

Women tend to look upon divorce as a personal failure, so usually a divorce is a blow to her self-esteem. Women are also nesters by nature, and a divorce generally breaks up a home as in some way destroys the nest a woman created for her family.


Posted Aug. 26, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
cristinav

Join Date: 08/26/11

Posts: 5

RE: Why do women seem to struggle more than men after divorce?

I think women struggle more because, in most cases, we are the ones taking care of the children and the responsabilities that goes along with it. Women are treated much harsher and criticized, at least in some communities...It's ok for men to keep on with their lives and it is expected. On the other hand, women, when they are moms, society forgets that they are women and see them only as mothers, and as mothers the children always come first. Is it fair? That's for you to decide.


Posted Aug. 28, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
joycew

Join Date: 06/13/11

Posts: 35

RE: Why do women seem to struggle more than men after divorce?

I agree totally with Marshas. I do not agree with Bettyt and LynneB that most women have careers today and are financially okay ago, there are still a hugh number of women who are not college educated, do not have careers, are either taking care of children or waitressing or office work which does not pay for a house or bills or any kind of a lifestyle other than substinence.


Posted Aug. 29, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
rosemaryk

Join Date: 08/29/11

Posts: 18

RE: Why do women seem to struggle more than men after divorce?

Women struggle more because they are usually the ones caring for the children. Men waltz off and often don't send any money for support. Men get involved with other women quickly (no children around to cramp their style); bachelor life is much easier than dealing with a family.


Posted Aug. 29, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
sallyg

Join Date: 05/14/11

Posts: 19

RE: Why do women seem to struggle more than men after divorce?

A woman may have idenity problems with a late in life divorce. She has had many hats placed on her head and these all are thrown up into the air. Instead of a wife and mother she is a menopausal, empty nest, aging parent and job seeker. Even the way she dons fashion changes. Betty handles it as a widow and hides in black.


Posted Aug. 30, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
sarahd

Join Date: 10/16/10

Posts: 84

Expert

RE: Why do women seem to struggle more than men after divorce?

I agree with the comments: women do have more responsibilities - generally - to home and hearth than do men. I also wonder if divorce is harder on older women, too, because of the cultural bias we have towards aging women. Men are able to be distinguished, successful, attractive etc into old age, whereas women are expected to become more like grandmothers. They lose their sex appeal. This is changing thanks to Lauren Hutton, Sofia Loren and other older women who prove that age has nothing to do with whether a woman is attractive or not, but, broadly, I think it's difficult for women to retain the same type of relevancy as men when they age.


Sarah D
Posted Sep. 01, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
janen

Join Date: 06/01/11

Posts: 32

RE: Why do women seem to struggle more than men after divorce?

Sarahd has a point. Aging women are not looked on fondly in our society. If they attempt to fix themselves up and try to date, they are seen as cougars or worse. Society has assigned them a role that is not fair. They are suppose to be genteel, doting grandparents who only interested is in other peoples lives. If they want their own lives they are seen as selfish. It is a shame that in the 21st century we are still stereotyping women.


Posted Sep. 06, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
janec

Join Date: 09/06/11

Posts: 12

RE: Why do women seem to struggle more than men after divorce?

It's tough in this society for women, especially older women, to come back from divorce. Men can sit in a restaurant or bar and not be looked at as someone who either does not have a significant other or friends. Women alone are subject to comments.


Posted Sep. 14, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
pennyn's Gravatar
pennyn

Join Date: 10/21/10

Posts: 23

RE: Why do women seem to struggle more than men after divorce?

Hmmm, I learned this awhile ago. I also refused to play the game. Have you also noticed that men usually remarry after divorce? Many women never remarry. The women find they are stronger and more true to themselves without a MAN.


Penny

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