Each married the other under false circumstances but Soo-Ja lost out the most, in my opinion. Min turned cold on her on their wedding night, for goodness sake! And he and his father schemed for Soo-Jo to borrow so much money from her father it was likely to ruin him. He gave it because of his love for his daughter, and gave gladly. He may be the kindest person in the book.
We all make mistakes, but Min and Soo-Ja made some huge ones. I believe Soo-Ja, had Min moved her to Seoul, would have been more kind to him. His general lazy nature seems it would have fit well with her as the breadwinner, too. But he lacked the spine to stand up to his father, to say no, I won't head your business. And soon he's paying the price (literally) for that.
Interesting he treats his wife with such a firm hand but is so indulgent to his daughters. Was he pitting them against Soo-Ja out of spite? Consciously or unconsciously I really believe he was, to make her life even more miserable. And the reason? He felt emasculated he couldn't take care of his family after having gone bankrupt.
Soo-Ja has every right to feel no pity for Min. If she does that says much about her character and how she was raised.