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The Three Weissmanns of Westport
"Schine's homage to Jane Austen has it all....A sparkling, crisp, clever,...
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Is it ever too late for romance?

Created: 08/11/11

Replies: 23

Posted Aug. 11, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
gwendolyndawson

Join Date: 10/20/10

Posts: 63

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Is it ever too late for romance?

I just finished this novel, and I was encouraged by its depiction of romantic outcomes for women in their 40s and 50s. So many novels suggest that romance is only for women in their 20s and 30s, leaving older women to focus on their family, friends and/or careers. This novel, however, breaks those convnetions and depicts romantic outcomes for two older women. I found this to be very refreshing. I also loved how the author depicted Miranda as a beautiful and sexually appealing woman at the age of 49. I wish more authors would promote a broader concept of female attractiveness.


Posted Aug. 11, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
rebajane

Join Date: 04/21/11

Posts: 121

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RE: Is it ever too late for romance?

No, never. I just read a wedding announcement in the paper yesterday of two people in their 60's who had moved on with their lives after a divorce and a death of a spouse 20 years prior. They were very much settled into their lives after being alone for so long but their hearts were still available for a change. Very cool


Posted Aug. 11, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
dave s

Join Date: 05/19/11

Posts: 20

RE: Is it ever too late for romance?

Being a guy, the simple answer would be no. But I know several older women who would love to have a relationship but find the number of "reasonable" men to date few and far between. In most cases, they seem to have resigned themselves to not finding anyone and having a lot of close friendships to compensate. I think this takes the stress out of "having to find someone". But, on the other hand, I'm sure if someone special came along, they would be open to romance if it fit right.


Posted Aug. 11, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
audreg

Join Date: 07/16/11

Posts: 5

RE: Is it ever too late for romance?

It's never too late for love. I just heard yesterday of the engagement of a lovely lady in her late 60s or early 70s and am very happy for her. My father and stepmother had a great marriage until his death thirteen years ago. My sister and brother and I still love and care for our stepmother who just turned 95 in May.


Posted Aug. 11, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
sarahd

Join Date: 10/16/10

Posts: 84

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RE: Is it ever too late for romance?

I don't think it's ever too late, but I would guess that it all becomes much more difficult. And, I wonder if it's harder to let yourself fall in love when you're an older person. I wonder if it's a challenge to take the risk, put your rational, trained-by-real-life mind to rest and let yourself go. I wonder if Schine agrees and that is why Betty doesn't find love again.


Sarah D
Posted Aug. 11, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
rebajane

Join Date: 04/21/11

Posts: 121

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RE: Is it ever too late for romance?

Its interesting, Sarah, because I think it might be easier to let yourself fall in love as you get older. Take it from someone who has been married for 30 years, the definition of love changes. It becomes more about companionship and having someone around when it gets harder to get around! Also, at least for me, the older I get the more comfortable I am in my own skin and more accomodating as well because I've learned that the little things don't matter as much as I once thought. Great topic!


Posted Aug. 11, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
annettes

Join Date: 04/15/11

Posts: 9

RE: Is it ever too late for romance?

I have to agree with rebajane. I have been married for 55 years and the definition of love does change. It changes from passionate to companionship and reliance. After many years it would be difficult to accept a new love and keep from comparing the new one to what you had, unless what had you was not good.


Posted Aug. 11, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
sarahd

Join Date: 10/16/10

Posts: 84

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RE: Is it ever too late for romance?

Very interesting. I've been married for five years, and we're still in the honeymoon stage. It's comforting to know that love can change, grow, expand and still encapsulate the marriage and the two people in it. I've definitely seen my parents experience that. Looking at the novel from that perspective, I'm surprised by Josie's decision to divorce. After all those years, I would think that sticking with what you have is much better than changing ships. I guess it's possible to fall in love at a later age, but is it possible to start a whole new life, which is, I guess, what Josie sort of wants to do? Perhaps that would have been a good question, too: can you start a whole new life when you're old?


Sarah D
Posted Aug. 11, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
joanw

Join Date: 04/21/11

Posts: 12

RE: Is it ever too late for romance?

I don't think it's too late for romance but it 's different in your later years than younger years. When you're older, you're looking for more companionship. I know someone who is alone now after being married for over 50 years and it is very hard for her to cope with the loneliness but then she knows she won't find someone like what she had, or can she? and what she has met is not what she is looking for. I doubt I would marry again if I were left alone but would like to find companionship - but I could join a women's club and have fun too. No one knows what they would do until it happens to them, we can only guess what we would do.


Posted Aug. 11, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
sarahd

Join Date: 10/16/10

Posts: 84

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RE: Is it ever too late for romance?

I think that would be hardest part, too, dealing with the loneliness AND the reality that there may not be someone else out there, if you wanted someone else, that is, which I wouldn't. I suspect that's what Betty thought, too. She seemed fine with the companionship from her daughters and her friends, but didn't you think there may be something between her and Robert? Maybe that was just me, but I totally thought there was going to be something there with the two of them.


Sarah D
Posted Aug. 12, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
dave s

Join Date: 05/19/11

Posts: 20

RE: Is it ever too late for romance?

I would agree with the last entry that it was refreshing to see an older woman being portrayed as attractive


Posted Aug. 12, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
rebajane

Join Date: 04/21/11

Posts: 121

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RE: Is it ever too late for romance?

Dave, the older I get the more refreshing that is!


Posted Aug. 12, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
annettes

Join Date: 04/15/11

Posts: 9

RE: Is it ever too late for romance?

In response to sarahd's comment about Josie divorcing Betty after almost 50 years. Perhaps he was going through a delayed midlife crisis. He realized that the end of his life was close and he had to try to find passion again.


Posted Aug. 12, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
gwendolyndawson

Join Date: 10/20/10

Posts: 63

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RE: Is it ever too late for romance?

Sarah D--I never suspected anything between Betty and Roberts. I knew going into the book that it was supposed to be a contemporary remake of Sense and Sensibility, so I was assuming all along that Roberts would end up with Miranda (like Colonel Brandon ends up with Marianne). That's one of the dangers of paying too much attention to the marketing hype, I guess. I'm almost wishing I didn't know about the S&S link before reading the book. I'm not sure I would've made the connection otherwise.


Posted Aug. 12, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
sarahd

Join Date: 10/16/10

Posts: 84

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RE: Is it ever too late for romance?

@Gwendolyn: I thought he was going to end up with Miranda, too, but I thought I saw something there between him and Betty and I wondered. It's weird how Roberts didn't play a real role in the novel like Col. Brandon did, but I guess I'm just saying that because I was expecting him to be like Col. Brandon. Like you, I wish I hadn't know about the SandS connection because I kept making comparisons. I thought some of the comparisons were spot on, though, like Faith and Fanny - both such pills!


Sarah D
Posted Aug. 12, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
joanw

Join Date: 04/21/11

Posts: 12

RE: Is it ever too late for romance?

Dave - older women can be attractive and interesting - they are looking for the same thing that a lot of
men are - someone who they can talk to and be with and have fun with - it doesn't have to be a mad
passionate type of relationship - you can have it if ou look hard enough I guess.


Posted Aug. 14, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
carolyna

Join Date: 08/14/11

Posts: 19

RE: Is it ever too late for romance?

Ah romance. This word has many meanings as one goes through life. Growing older one comes to understand the enjoyment of embracing the moment with a group of friends or with just one person. With age comes wisdom , I'd like to think, anyway. It's never to late for romance, male or female. You just need to understand what you need and try to find happiness.


Posted Aug. 16, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
annettes

Join Date: 04/15/11

Posts: 9

RE: Is it ever too late for romance?

It is never too late for romance but that doesn't mean it is always accompanied by love. In the case of Josie, he tried for a new love but did not achieve it.


Posted Aug. 17, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
debrav

Join Date: 08/16/11

Posts: 10

RE: Is it ever too late for romance?

I think everyone needs different things -- i agree with Sara and Reba about marriage. After 36 years what is important changes. Obviously this was not the case for Joseph and Betty which is really sad!


Posted Aug. 17, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
kareng

Join Date: 08/17/11

Posts: 4

RE: Is it ever too late for romance?

It's NEVER TOO LATE for romance!! At least I hope not. I personally think that people should not marry or commit to another until age 50. Have the children and grow them up and out. Then, one is free to live and love without too much ego involvement. On the other hand, I have much respect for long lasting marriages like Lou's and Roselyn's. They both seemed to be enjoying themselves. Betty and Josie sounded like they were good together until Felicity sweet talked her way to Josie. Poor man, he lost Betty twice.


Posted Aug. 19, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
andreas

Join Date: 06/16/11

Posts: 5

RE: Is it ever too late for romance?

I don't think it is ever too late for romance. That was one of the positives about this book, with its depiction of relationships for women and men over the age of 30. I guess that is one benefit from all the aging Baby Boomers-romance and love can happen at any age. The book looked at different kinds of romantic love too-from the probably doomed relationship of Josie and Felicity to the one sided love of Annie for Frederick to the relationship of Leanne and Miranda. Maybe the message is to be open to romance all your life. And I think the comments about long lived marriages are right on. I have often heard it said that happily married couples will remarry and often pretty quickly after one spouse died because they had a good experience and want to do it again.


Posted Aug. 26, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
cristinav

Join Date: 08/26/11

Posts: 5

RE: Is it ever too late for romance?

One of the plueses of the book is that it's never too late. I really believe this is true, as andreas. I like her have read many times that people from happy marriages, marry quickloy after a divoerce or a death. I have also seen this happen in real life! As a matter of fact, one of my mother's best friends is getting married tomorrow....She is 80 years young and he is 83!


Posted Aug. 26, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
rebajane

Join Date: 04/21/11

Posts: 121

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RE: Is it ever too late for romance?

Karen, you have an interesting perspective. So you think that people should raise their children and then get married?


Posted Aug. 27, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
trezelineb

Join Date: 04/24/11

Posts: 16

RE: Is it ever too late for romance?

No it is never too late for romance. I think you can have romance without true love. One doesn't necessarily mean the other is there. Many long marriages are devoid of romance. I think love and romance can exist well after 50.


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