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Quiet
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Misconceptions about introverts

Created: 03/06/13

Replies: 15

Posted Mar. 06, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
poornimaa

Join Date: 05/16/12

Posts: 37

Misconceptions about introverts

As an introvert myself, I find it very annoying when extroverts think I am anti-social. I still like to meet people and talk and interact. I just prefer one-on-one or small group hangouts than large parties. Does anyone else have this experience?


Posted Mar. 07, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
kiml

Join Date: 05/19/11

Posts: 12

RE: Misconceptions about introverts

I have to agree completely with you. I am an introvert and need my quiet alone time, but I enjoy being with other people in small settings. Many people when first meeting me label me as shy and I bought into this until reading this book. I don't believe that I am shy any longer. For me large parties where I have to meet and talk to many people just seems like too much work.


Posted Mar. 07, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
jeannew

Join Date: 04/23/11

Posts: 26

RE: Misconceptions about introverts

Yep, I agree with both of you. I enjoy small group gatherings, but large gatherings, especially when I don't know many people, are difficult. I'm finding that the older I get the more I value my time and don't want to spend it doing things I don't enjoy.


Posted Mar. 07, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
lisag

Join Date: 01/12/12

Posts: 298

Expert

RE: Misconceptions about introverts

I find some people think I'm a snob because I'm introverted, yet I'm unfailingly pleasant when I communicate. Any ideas why others so often feel that? I believe they find everything a personal assault, that it's all about them, but I'd really like to believe that isn't so.


Posted Mar. 07, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
sallyh

Join Date: 09/07/12

Posts: 56

Expert

RE: Misconceptions about introverts

Agree with all three of you. I've always known I'm an introvert, and always resented being considered anti-social because I prefer one-on-one or small group socializing to large groups, particularly when I don't know many of the people. I'm not anti-social, I don't dislike people, and my people skills are just fine, thankyouverymuch! But I do hate small talk, and I really value my alone time.


Posted Mar. 07, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
dianes

Join Date: 05/16/11

Posts: 53

Expert

RE: Misconceptions about introverts

I think that sometimes my quietness gives other the impression that I think I am better than them. Or that I am shy or stuck up or many other to numerous to name.


Posted Mar. 07, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
jwbriggs13

Join Date: 05/09/12

Posts: 22

RE: Misconceptions about introverts

Both the book and the comments above bring it home to me that, like most everything, there are degrees of introverts and extroverts. It is easy but wrong to try to fit people into one group or the other. In spite of a Myers-Briggs score that showed me to be introverted, it took this book to really open my eyes to my introverted ways. Welcoming and indulging my introverted traits makes me the most happy--thus allowing me to handle the extroverts in my life with peace and joy.


Posted Mar. 10, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
cathyk

Join Date: 02/16/13

Posts: 17

RE: Misconceptions about introverts

Thank you for all of these answers! In the question about interviews and the workplace, I talk about my son's problems in not fitting into corporate culture. I believe he also was viewed as thiking himself better.


Posted Mar. 12, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
gwendolyndawson

Join Date: 10/20/10

Posts: 63

Expert

RE: Misconceptions about introverts

Introverts can be very courageous, contrary to what some people believe. It's just a quiet courage rather than a boastful one.


Posted Mar. 13, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
lorris

Join Date: 09/06/12

Posts: 6

RE: Misconceptions about introverts

One of the most insightful things that was ever said about me that I think applies to a lot of introverts: it's hard to like her, but she's hard not to like. Because I am generally quiet, think deep thoughts, and initiually present as serious, people tend to shy away from getting to know me. Once, people do they realize that what seems standoffish or snobbish is really just my "quiet" nature. So I think that just because someone is quiet, it doesn't mean they're shy.


Posted Mar. 14, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
carolyng

Join Date: 02/27/13

Posts: 4

RE: Misconceptions about introverts

I agree with the Gwendolyn about introverts being quietly courageous. There is a strength in observing, resisting one's impulses to butt in or make impulsive statements before getting the facts, and respecting the right of others (including extroverts) to expound on a topic or dominate a conversation. I am reminded of my mother, near her death and in pain from a medical procedure, stating firmly to the medical technician "You may think you are something, but you're not!" Mom really wanted to curse her out for causing so much pain, but was too "nice" and introverted to do so and instead said what she felt in the clearest way possible, a courageous act for her in her hour of need. How courageous for an introvert to stand up for herself by stating, without profanity or abuse, I am someone who matters too!


Posted Mar. 14, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
lisag

Join Date: 01/12/12

Posts: 298

Expert

RE: Misconceptions about introverts

carolyng, oh, how sweet your mother must have been! That kind of selflessness is so rare and yes, I do also see that as an introverted-inspired trait.


Posted Mar. 17, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
melissay

Join Date: 12/11/11

Posts: 6

RE: Misconceptions about introverts

Everything listed is right on the money. Introverts are also viewed as not quite as smart and having no opinion or idea to offer. Nothing could be further from the truth.


Posted Mar. 18, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
lisag

Join Date: 01/12/12

Posts: 298

Expert

RE: Misconceptions about introverts

One of the nicest things I've heard from an extrovert I know is I'm not "shy," I'm "reflective." That's so true of introverts.


Posted Mar. 18, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
joyces

Join Date: 06/16/11

Posts: 235

Expert

RE: Misconceptions about introverts

I think that being socially poised (author's term) totally disguises the introvert sometimes. So many people I know are so personable and at ease as well as holding majorly demanding leadership roles that when I first met them the word introvert would never have occurred to me but as I became better acquainted with them I realized how zealously they guard their alone time and avoid becoming over-committed. Being that way myself I eventually recognize them for who they really are.


Posted Mar. 23, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
bettyt

Join Date: 05/12/11

Posts: 117

Expert

RE: Misconceptions about introverts

I could certainly relate to nearly all the posts before mine. I know that many people see me as either shy or snobbish (more so the latter). I absolutely hate large social gatherings but love getting together with just one or two friends. In large gatherings I often do not say a word. Other people are too busy talking and I hate to interrupt and when I do try to say something people talk right over me. I am absolutely no good at the small talk. But if you want a conversation with some meat to it I am ready!


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