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This Burns My Heart
An epic love story set in the intriguing landscape of postwar South Korea.
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How far have women of my generation in America come?

Created: 04/12/12

Replies: 14

Posted Apr. 12, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
Diann

Join Date: 03/14/12

Posts: 2

This Burns My Heart

I feel that American marriages have been/are "bound by tradition & religion even today. Some women are still "trapped in "suffocating marriages". I was one of these women who after 38 of being in an unhappy and unfulfilling marriage had the courage to leave.Now the only people who support me are my children and the "new" friends I have made. My family, inlaws and couple friends no longer are in my life.So, how far have we come in America especially women of my generation? I enjoyed the book because in some ways I could related to her decisonsand her life.


Posted Apr. 13, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
lisag

Join Date: 01/12/12

Posts: 298

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RE: This Burns My Heart

I believe most of us have that feeling "who is this person I married?!" from time to time. When you're dating your partner's on his or her best behavior but once that ring's on the finger both start to relax. In one way that's good. You shouldn't have to spend your whole life showing your perfect side. There should be down time, the occasional argument, etc.

Perhaps it isn't as dramatic as Min's shift but it's certainly inevitable. And other people's marriages always seem so much better/more stable because they have a public face on. That's if they don't crack and war openly!


Posted Apr. 14, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
Suzanne

Join Date: 04/21/11

Posts: 111

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RE: How far have women of my generation in America come?

Each generation of women have progressed with time. Perhaps it may seem not so in many circumstances as there will always be a certain amount of "staying in one place." Men, as well as women, have their fundamental norms. I can see a lot of progress in my lifetime; my mother's life and freedoms were a lot different from mine--she grew up in the 19teens and I in the 1940s and 1950s. Anyone can see where that would help me "come a long way, baby!" (Slogan for Virginia Slims cigarettes in 1960s.)


Posted Apr. 23, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
gwendolyndawson

Join Date: 10/20/10

Posts: 63

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RE: How far have women of my generation in America come?

I absolutely think we've made a lot of progress. Marriage remains complicated, and it will always be that way. Human beings are complicated! But I do feel there is much more recognition about women being in an equal position to men in marriage. Divorce isn't entirely accepted by society, but I think that's true for both men and women.


Posted Apr. 25, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
arielf

Join Date: 04/22/11

Posts: 18

RE: How far have women of my generation in America come?

Women have come a long way, but still have a long way to go. Consider the Lilly Ledbetter Equal Pay Act of 2009.

Just a couple weeks ago the Governor of the State of Wisconsin signed into law a bill repealing equal pay protections for women.
Consider the remarks of one of the state representatives.

"Grothman would see it as unjust, because he believes that the whole idea of pay discrimination against women is fraudulent".

Whatever gaps exist, he insists, stems from women’s decision to prioritize childrearing over their careers. “Take a hypothetical husband and wife who are both lawyers,” he says. “But the husband is working 50 or 60 hours a week, going all out, making 200 grand a year. The woman takes time off, raises kids, is not go go go. Now they’re 50 years old. The husband is making 200 grand a year, the woman is making 40 grand a year. It wasn’t discrimination. There was a different sense of urgency in each person.”


Posted Apr. 27, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
lisag

Join Date: 01/12/12

Posts: 298

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RE: How far have women of my generation in America come?

As another perspective, many years ago I was an online used/rare bookseller. When buying signed and/or first edition books I realized a very startling fact: books signed by male authors were priced higher than those signed by women. This included award-winning books/authors! In the case when two authors had won the same prize - in different years - the book written by the female cost less than that written by the male.

I find this a very disturbing trend and, frankly, don't understand why this is so but unfortunately it is.

As far as how this generation compares to the past, I also don't care for how sexualized women are in the media. In decades before, advertising was more low-key and women actually wore a bit of clothing in periodicals and on TV! I'm not sure seeing Victoria's Secret models strutting down the catwalk is an advance for our sex. Some may disagree but I see this as objectifying women, which has been going on - in one form or other - basically forever. Women are either angels or whores in the media, with a few exceptions made every now and then. The pressure on our sex to look better is another topic but I won't go into that... I think I've made this comment long enough!


Posted Apr. 28, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
booksnob

Join Date: 11/12/11

Posts: 21

RE: How far have women of my generation in America come?

I am so thankful for the women who came before me and paved the way for all the freedoms I currently have. I know we still have a long way to go yet but I appreciate the fact that I am in charge of myself and am not my husband's property.


Posted Apr. 28, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
booksnob

Join Date: 11/12/11

Posts: 21

RE: How far have women of my generation in America come?

I am so thankful for the women who came before me and paved the way for all the freedoms I currently have. I know we still have a long way to go yet but I appreciate the fact that I am in charge of myself and am not my husband's property.


Posted Apr. 30, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
lisag

Join Date: 01/12/12

Posts: 298

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RE: How far have women of my generation in America come?

Who are the females making a difference today? One who comes to mind is Condoleeza Rice. Hillary Clinton, too. Both of them have broken through the "glass ceiling" said to keep women from advancing in work, politics, etc. Are there any women you look to as inspirational figures? What will the next generation consider our greatest contributions to the feminist cause?


Posted May. 01, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
arielf

Join Date: 04/22/11

Posts: 18

RE: How far have women of my generation in America come?

We have come along way, but still have a long way to break the glass ceiling in all areas. I look to people like Barbara Jordan, Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf, my mother, Yingluck Shinawatra, and Hillary Clinton as my inspirations.


Posted May. 01, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
lisag

Join Date: 01/12/12

Posts: 298

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RE: How far have women of my generation in America come?

Another thought: stay at home moms. I was one, quitting my job to raise my children for about twelve years. Early on my brother in law asked, "What do you DO all day, anyway?" Funny, after he and his wife had their first child he stopped asking...

The average age for marriage in the US (I just looked it up) appears to be 28 for men and 27 for women. I married at 23 and my husband was 24. Lots of my friends married around the same time. Now marriage tends to happen later, couples don't always marry, and having children seems to be less expected than when I married in 1989.

I see all this as partially indicative of renewed power for women.


Posted May. 03, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
bessw

Join Date: 04/21/11

Posts: 7

RE: How far have women of my generation in America come?

Women have come a long way but still have a long way to go. There are still marriages in this country where the husband and wife have "traditional" roles to follow. It still amazes me to find bright, educated women who are forbidden to work outside the home, have no idea of their finances and must wait on their husbands hand and foot. Of course some women seem to like this--it means they dont have to think.


Posted May. 03, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
lisag

Join Date: 01/12/12

Posts: 298

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RE: How far have women of my generation in America come?

I feel fortunate having been in the position to stay home with my children. Thankfully, for me it was a choice but I'm sure you're right this isn't as clear cut in all cases.

I was also a "rebel" in that I took the word "obey" out of my wedding vows! ::;-):: Many people do that now, of course. It's a very outdated, sexist and demeaning word, in this context.


Posted May. 18, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
vivianh

Join Date: 11/14/11

Posts: 7

RE: How far have women of my generation in America come?

We've come a long way baby! When I started working in my profession in 1980, the insurance industry was dominated by men. When I went out on a call, agent would ask when I was going to get married, have children and quit. Clients would inquire when the man would arrive. When I was growing up women were expected to become teachers or nurses. One could count the number of women politicians on the national level on less than one hand. Major universities did not admit women until the 1970's. My mom broke the "rules" when she and another teacher shared a job (one teaching in the morning and the other afternoon) in 1968.
My first marriage was of a more traditional nature. I worked, but my income was secondary and my role was to play the corporate spouse and follow the master wherever the job took him. But the world has changed and my life with it. My current marriage is truly a partnership in every sense. Equal appreciation and respect of what we do and who we are. We are healthier, have more opportunity, can buy a house or a car. In my youth, women could not buy a car or even have a credit card without a husband or father co-signing. And we can remain vibrant and valuable contributing members of society long after our hair starts to gray. It hasn't been so long ago when a flight attendant (fka "stewardess") had to be weighed regularly to keep her job and could be fired for getting married. But this is the western world. In much of the world women are still chattel. We are a fortunate society.


Posted May. 18, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

Posts: 558

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RE: How far have women of my generation in America come?

I agree with VivianH - things have come a long way since I started working in the mid-80s in England - not least when it comes to what would have been considered then a little light hearted joking around by the more senior men to the younger women, but which would definitely be seen as sexual harassment these days.


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